


Wild War Child

by thatdamnuchiha



Series: In the Company of Elves [17]
Category: Naruto, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Canon-Typical Violence, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Elf Culture & Customs, Elf Sakura, Elfling Sakura, Eriador, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Reunions, Forlond, Grey Havens, Haruno Sakura-centric, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Haruno Sakura, POV Third Person, Pining, Protective Haruno Sakura, Protective Siblings, Protectiveness, Rare Pairings, Reincarnation, Second Age, Slow Build, Slow Burn, War of the Last Alliance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 55,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28038243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdamnuchiha/pseuds/thatdamnuchiha
Summary: It is meant to be simple, but nothing ever is when it comes to the twisted tangled thread of fate which ensnares a small number.Haruno Sakura dies.That is meant to be the end of it all, but that’s not quite the truth. Haruno Sakura dies, yes, but that is not where her tale ends. Rather, that is where it all begins – the beginning of a strange adventure all of her own. Haruno Sakura dies a bloody death, in a grey world marred by war where man kills man, each fighting for their own beliefs, and she is subsequently made anew in a world where the boundaries between good and evil are so clearly defined.Ever there is a question resounding in her mind—“Oh Child of War, will you ever know peace?”
Relationships: Glorfindel (Tolkien)/Haruno Sakura, Haruno Sakura & Original Character(s), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Series: In the Company of Elves [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1430875
Comments: 140
Kudos: 533





	1. The Child

**Author's Note:**

> Well...
> 
> I meant to keep this back till I had more chapters, but it's becoming fairly obvious I have no such self-control when it comes to posting fanfiction... Anyway, despite the growing number of WIPs I have, I hope you'll enjoy this, despite the sporadic updates it'll have. I have a desire to finish all my works but my brain is being eaten by LOTR/Naruto crossovers, so I'm focusing on them for a little while.
> 
> The plot bunnies have been attacking with vengeance.
> 
> It's yet another LOTR/Naruto crossover with that same pairing which is still eating at me so, and more to the point, it's the one where I try to write some delightful slow burn that exceeds 100k words. Yay. So you've got that to look forwards to, as well as me fleshing out as many OCs as I can, given it's a long while yet before we meet any of the canon set.
> 
> I'm also working now, which slows down updates for all my works even further...

Once, there was a child born on the outskirts of Forlond, in a place where the trees had grown thicker and taller quite suddenly – a herald to her arrival there. For she had once been one of the leaf-kin, who had dwelled in forests far taller and greater than the one now upon her doorstep.

Before she had been an adult, one in the prime of her life, mortal, _adan_ as they would have called it there, but it was not her fate to stay as such. Her death had been short, bloody, painful, and fast, for there had been no other way to kill her before she healed herself over and over again. Something other than death waited for her though, and she found herself cast adrift in new lands, in the body of a squalling, pink-haired, green-eyed elven baby, unmarred aside from the faint diamond marked upon a slightly larger than average forehead.

_Berenloth,_ her father named her, while her mother bestowed the name _Rhawauthên_ upon her – a tale of events to come. Because Berenloth was not an innocent little babe, free from knowledge of violence, blood, and death.

No.

She was a child who had been forged once already, in blood, fire, and war, and such a manner of being would hardly have an easy time blending in with a relatively peaceful, long-lived race that the eldar were.

* * *

It was strange – being reborn, that was.

Sakura had not been expecting it, _because whenever did one expect to be reincarnated?_ She had been thinking of the Pure Lands, of meeting with her long-dead family, not… whatever fate had befallen her there. Realisation came slowly though.

The awareness of life and death was not apparently an intrinsic thing. She had been aware of floating, of warmth surrounding her as she dangled on the precipice of a realisation. It lingered like a taste at the very tip of her tongue, and it consumed her muddled thoughts as she tried to process everything which had happened. Her memories were oddly fuzzy, but Sakura soon figured out the cause.

That cause being her death.

Death, seemingly, had scrambled her mind and her carefully ordered thoughts and memories – as though someone had taken a whisk to them and muddled them together. So Sakura had taken her time, surrounded by that comforting, oddly moist warmth to order her thought process. Time had slipped from her awareness by then, and she had no way to measure how long she had been stuck in that place where muted voices occasionally sung.

She tried not to dwell on the fact she had basically committed suicide, though not for the usual reason most shinobi did. If she’d had a body, Sakura would have smiled sadly. Throwing herself between two high-powered jutsu was tantamount to wishing for death, but she had just wanted them to _stop._ Dimly, some small part of her had hoped Kakashi would appear, as if by magic, to catch their wrists and throw them away as he had done before. But he hadn’t, and neither Sasuke nor Naruto stopped themselves. _Well, not in time._

Silently, she wondered what they were doing now while she was busy being lost on the way to the Pure Lands. Typical Team Seven Luck right there. But she was the only one dead. She would have preferred that than the course Sasuke and Naruto had been on. One where they had killed each other and left her and Kakashi behind to pick up the pieces. It was better to be the one leaving.

Especially what with how she had always stayed behind before. It seemed it had been time for her to leave them behind her for once. Sakura didn’t know whether to be giddily gleeful or glum at the prospect. _What was done was done._ There was no point in lingering on regrets – something a shinobi learned very quickly. She couldn’t change or rethink her past actions.

And that was about the time when the comforting warmth stopped being so comfortable.

Light was that which she noticed first, shortly after the movement had begun, and then things began to happen very quickly. Sakura blinked up at the white blur above her, whimpering as a soft cloth wiped over her body. Loud noises assailed her sensitive ears, the tongue unfamiliar, and given there was only one tongue in the Elemental Nations… A stirring of unease rose in her gut, and Sakura could only look upwards at the white, slightly blurry ceiling, before her attention was drawn to the one holding her.

She was small, she realised with a start, even as the melodic singing continued from the one holding her there, lines wrinkling their brow as their singing became that much more urgent. She was being held. She was small enough to be held, ensconced, in someone’s arms. _An adult’s arms._ Sakura whimpered, sharp ears picking up sounds which she usually heard on the maternity ward of Konoha General. Sounds of babies crying. _Well, just the one,_ Sakura mused upon laying still and silent for a few more moments.

She was tired. Exhausted. Sakura just wanted to sleep in that instant, overwhelmed as she was.

She slept.

* * *

Sakura dangled on the precipice of awareness for… She couldn’t tell how long. Time was a blur to her, and she wasn’t sure how long she rested on a knife’s edge about the reality of her situation, given there was nothing with which to measure how much time she spent in a strange place, and the very bowels of her mind. She had woken briefly, clearly, in a maternity ward, and her body had been too small, and then she… drifted, caught between wonder and worry, because the fact of the matter was that she _didn’t understand._ She was supposed to be in the Pure Lands, watching over her two dear friends, but instead…

She didn’t know where she was. All she knew was that she had been small. All she knew was that she occasionally woke up in a strange place, with strange people looking down at her as she lay in a contraption with bars. She didn’t understand _why_ for the life of her. _Where was she?_ She couldn’t help but ponder the question, because everything went against all her beliefs which had been engrained in her since birth.

_Edo Tensei_ had all but proven the existence of the Pure Lands, and that there had to be a place for the dead to go in order to wait. That they couldn’t… move on, as she had seemingly done. _Was she unique? Or were those that were recalled to the living world only shades of their original selves? But Madara…_

A gurgle escaped her, hand reaching up towards the figure who lent over her apparent prison, silvery hair dangling down, grey eyes peering at her curiously – but her attention was stolen soon enough after clumsy fingers curled around the silvery locks. Because she saw her hand, and the pieces finally started slotting into place. Her hand was a chubby little thing, one she had seen on many babies and toddlers when she helped in their delivery when the maternity ward had been short-staffed.

The final piece of the puzzle clicked into place then, and realisation flooded through her like a tidal wave.

She wasn’t in a prison, nor was she dead.

She was a baby.

* * *

The realisation that she was a baby stunned her into an odd stupor, which, in hindsight, meant a trip back to the people who had sung at her when she was born. She didn’t quite understand the singing, but she gathered it had to be some form of chakra manipulation from the feel of it, and the ones who did as such in that place were healers. Medics. Doctors. Whatever they called them there. She couldn’t understand the words spoken overhead, though she had enough sense to start paying attention to the language spoken. It was flowery and seemed to resonate so beautifully through the air whenever the ones around her spoke it.

She had been reincarnated – _that was the word for it, the one she had searched so long for –_ and her mind reminded her of a tale she had once read, about Indra and Ashura. How Naruto and Sasuke had briefly explained that they were their reincarnates in the midst of a war. _And Sakura could still remember the burning jealousy at the realisation at, just when she thought she had caught up to them, they had taken yet another step forwards. More galling had been the fact it had been through no efforts of their own, only the circumstances of their births_. Though it still didn’t explain why it had happened to her. She wasn’t special, unlike Naruto and Sasuke. There were no bloodlines for her. No Nine-Tailed Fox sealed within to give her an opportunity for more power. She was the ordinary one of Team Seven, like it or not. The one who was just a little too weak and cried a little too much. _As if crying were something to be ashamed of…_ But those thoughts aside, it didn’t explain a single thing. _She was the ordinary one—_

_So why was she there?_ Why had she experienced something so bizarre and abnormal? She didn’t understand that much. She couldn’t understand that much. Not with how often she slept, needing to recharge her mind from the strain she put it through every time she opened her eyes in that strange place, in a strange body confined to a crib. Though she supposed it was only to be expected. Her body was far too small and underdeveloped to take the strain of an adult’s mind.

And so she slept, like any decent shinobi, and she waited patiently for the time when she would open her eyes and the pieces of the puzzle would click into place.

* * *

_And thus the wheels of fate began to turn ever so slowly, the threads of a tapestry being woven as the soul of an outsider took their very first breath in a world marred by the Enemy’s hand._

* * *

_Sindarin_ was rather different compared to the language of the Elemental Nations. Still, that hadn’t stopped Sakura from learning the new language of her people, and at the tender age of five she had a vast majority of the basics down. She was known as a precocious child to both her family and the other few who had the fortune of meeting her in the little harbourside city she lived on the outskirts of. _And it was only a precious few who had met her, for her new family guarded both she and her twin brother with the ferocity of a dragon guarding its treasure hoard._

It had been an odd five years for Sakura, protective tendencies of her family aside, who had quickly found herself out of her depth in a new culture of a completely new world. She was no longer human – she had seen one from afar, sailing on a ship on the way to a place called Mithlond, and her family had explained things which she still had yet to fully understand – and hadn’t that been a rather shocking realisation for her? She stared at her hands – her tiny hands so small and fragile – with a smile curving on her lips. Long ago she had acclimatised to her strange new reality, not least because she had been unable to take care of herself for a number of months which had stretched on for far too long.

Truly, she was gladdened those days were long since passed. Nothing could quite eclipse the fear brought on by the memory of being stuck, helpless, in that tiny body of hers – incapable of doing a single thing to ensure her survival. Though perhaps being so dependent on others was what had allowed for the bonds of family to forge so strongly between her and her elder brothers.

“Sister!” Maethon, her twin, called, and Sakura turned then, raising an eyebrow at her brother. He was older than her by some minutes, and he was often found to take great pride in that fact. Needless to say she was never going to correct him about her true age. Not that she felt she acted too much like the age she was meant to be. She was young, exceptionally so, but she was still so very tiny – and she could say that, given she had her last life to compare to. She was barely more than a toddler, though she had long since learnt to walk and speak that much faster than she had before. Although she hadn’t started to show she could do that much until her twin similarly did.

He was her baseline in that strange, foreign world, and Sakura was all the more grateful for it. Without him, she would have been very afraid of doing things wrong, which in hindsight would have caused her older brothers, her minders, a lot of worry. She had six older brothers, including Maethon, and tragedy had hit their family all too soon after her and Maethon’s birth, leaving them with only their older brothers to look after them both. All of them, excluding Leithedir and Maethon though, were both fully grown and married – which was part of the reason why Sakura had been confused for so very long about what their relationships to each other were. She was still so very unsure about their relative ages and the like and couldn’t find an opportunity to voice those questions of hers. She didn’t want to seem odd by asking how old her brothers were, and why they all looked about the same age. Multiple births, like her own, weren’t all that common, or so she was led to believe.

Still, they were celebrated, if terribly coddled, and the girl who had once been Haruno Sakura found herself basking in the love and affection she was shown. She had never had _siblings_ before, and it was an oddly novel experience. Though Sakura wasn’t quite sure she would maintain that belief, if only because her brothers seemingly took the word overprotective to new extremes. She couldn’t venture into the garden with less than three of her brothers or their wives looking over her. They watched her every action, and being a shinobi in her former life, Sakura wasn’t quite used to having eyes on her at all times. Rather, she preferred the complete opposite sometimes, and though embarrassing, she wasn’t afraid to use tears to get her way.

Truly, Naruto and Sasuke had never understood the joys of using tears to one’s own advantage. It worked like a charm when people knew she tended to cry. It was less suspicious when the facets turned on then. Though Sakura wasn’t overly fond of using such techniques against family – enemies were a different ballgame entirely – when her brother’s inspected her for injury after she tripped over her feet without shedding a single tear or moan of pain…

Sakura figured extreme measures might have had to be taken. Or that was how she justified it to herself, at least. It helped that everyone seemed to be so very weak to her large, pleading green eyes which shimmered with unshed tears. A smile came over her at the memory of Nardhion, the third oldest, describing them as such.

“Sister!” A tiny hand closed around her own, and Sakura tilted her head, waiting for her twin brother to tell her what he wanted with her. “Brothers Lithuidor and Reniedir say they are willing to allow us to come with them to watch the stars from the hilltop!”

Sakura blinked, wondering if those were the same two brothers she knew – the terribly overprotective ones who oftentimes refused to allow her to step a single foot outside, even into the little fenced off garden area they had. “Truly?” she asked, brow furrowing as the tallest of her brothers appeared behind them. _Her new kin had far too light footsteps,_ or so Sakura mused as she jumped in surprise.

“Lithuidor!” Reniedir called, tongue clicking as he stared at their eldest brother. “Do try to stop surprising Berenloth so,” he said, long silvery hair swishing as he stood to his full height, grey eyes fixed upon the matching set Lithuidor had. “You know as well as I that she hates it so.”

“Ah, my apologies, little sister,” her eldest brother said, tilting his head, similarly long dark hair shifting with the movement. The colouring wasn’t quite black, more of a deep, rich brown which very nearly bordered on that colouring. Sakura was grateful, otherwise she feared his image would have overlapped with Sasuke. Though Sasuke couldn’t quite compare to the heights of her new family. She oftentimes wondered if she would ever grow to be as tall. “But Maethon speaks the truth. Neither of you have seen much of them, and they are quite important to us elves,” Lithuidor said, smiling as he came to crouch down beside her.

Sakura blinked yet again, feeling oddly nonplussed as her eldest brother opened his arms, making the universal come hither signs. Her twin was already safely ensconced in Reniedir’s arms, and Sakura only mentally debated on things for a few moments before she edged forwards, wondering if she had been caught in a strange dream or worse, genjutsu. “You would take me outside to see the stars?” She tilted her head, mirroring her brother as she lingered, just outside of his reach.

Lithuidor frowned, and Sakura narrowed her eyes. “Is something the matter, Berenloth? Do you not wish to venture out?” Grey eyes bore into her own, and Sakura wondered why she could tell he was happily married with Glawil.

Tiny hands curled into fists, and she took a step back with one foot, ready to flee at the first signs of trouble. “What do you really want?” she demanded, mulling over the very convincing look of confusion on the _imposter’s_ face. “Brother Lithuidor would never even consider letting me leave here – so who might you be, and what have you done with my real brother?”

The imposter blinked, and then a belly-deep laugh rang out behind her, startling her once more, before a set of warm, familiar hands lifted her from the ground. “Oh what shall we do?” the familiar sound of Nardhion’s voice resounded through the corridor they had found themselves in, and Sakura found herself relaxing in his grasp. “Our sweet little wild child is so very disbelieving of the apparent lull in Brother Lithuidor’s protective instincts…”

Lithuidor snorted, eyes narrowing in warning of something she couldn’t quite figure out, and Sakura frowned at the ellon which had to be her brother, given Nardhion wasn’t warding him off. “You can hardly say you are not as protective of our sweet little sister as I am,” he said, snorting derisively, and Sakura mused on the idea of being thought of as _sweet_ when shinobi were anything but. “It happens to be one of the few similarities between us.”

Nardhion huffed. “I do suppose I shall have to agree with you this time, brother dearest,” he muttered, clicking his tongue. Unlike Lithuidor, he stood on the other end of the spectrum – light silvery locks as opposed to dark ones, neither was he particularly tall when compared to the rest of her brothers. _Excluding Maethon for obvious reasons._ “Though I do pray I shall not get into the habit as such. Stars above, the day I mindlessly listen to all of my precious big brother’s words like some sort of sycophant…”

“No arguing,” Reniedir spoke sharply, a pointed glance to both her and her twin in his arms. “Nardhion, please give Berenloth to our older brother. There is only a short hour of time we have to show them the stars and tell them tales before they ought to be tucked in for bed.”

Lips met her forehead then, and Sakura blinked up at her brother. “Stay safe, Berenloth,” he murmured, smiling akin to a shark at the blistering glare sent his way courtesy of Lithuidor. “Though I am certain no harm shall befall you with our _mightiest_ brother there to look after you so.” Nardhion smiled, the visage so very sickly sweet as he passed her over into their eldest brother’s waiting arms. “Good night, little ones, I will see you on the morrow… For now I must go in search of my beloved wife…” He turned away fully then, silver locks swishing behind him as he skipped away, his low, lovely voice reaching them still. “Beloved Lastriel, how I miss you so, our parting was much too swift and ill thought…”

A heavy sigh rent the air, and Sakura twisted in her brother’s strong arms to find yet another of her brothers popping up from the brickwork of their home there. “I see my dear older brother is still as dramatic as ever,” Leithedir said, leaning against the corridor wall. “He has barely been away from his wife for an hour, and he already laments their time spent apart.”

“Well,” Reniedir said, a slight skip to his step as Maethon remained blissfully quiet and still in his arms. “You could say that his dramatic side is what aids him in enrapturing those in the stories he spins…”

“And what lovely stories they are,” Lithuidor murmured, pain and sorrow flashing across his face so swiftly that if Sakura hadn’t been a shinobi in her past life, she would have missed it entirely.

“Give him time, brother,” Leithedir said, coming to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Eventually he will realise that the words and expectations of others are naught in comparison to the bonds of family. You are proud of him, and in time our wonderful little bard will come to realise that too.”

Lithuidor sighed. “One can only hope,” he mumbled, and Sakura blinked as those grey eyes finally met her curious green ones which had been staring up at him for the duration of that conversation. “But enough of such talk,” he said, visibly brightening then, and Sakura could only mull over the possibilities of sibling drama. She had never experienced it before, being the only child that she had been. “Tonight we go to see the stars!”

“Can one more tag along with you all, perchance?” Leithedir asked, raising an eyebrow then, and Sakura eyed her fourth oldest brother. He had the brightest colouring out of all of them, his hair being a rich red which fell down his back, thick and glossy. “I fear I have spent far too little time with the twins as of late.”

“You have been busy,” Reniedir said levelly. “It cannot be helped.”

“There are strange rumours afoot as of late,” Leithedir replied, an answer to the unspoken question brewing in Sakura’s mind, a frown pulling at his lips. “They make all who hear them nervous… more so when they speak of terrible shades riding upon fell beasts which radiate enough terror and dread to make even the bravest of warriors falter in their stride.”

“Then do not speak of such tales here,” Lithuidor said sharply. “Do not forget there are little ears here, and you have just pledged to spend some time with them both.”

Reniedir nodded, humming softly then for but a moment as he adjusted his hold on Maethon. “I do not think you would wish to terrify them with tales so – we should leave that to Nardhion, no?”

Leithedir laughed then, and Sakura mused on the strong bonds of brotherhood. _She would have plenty of time to pick up on the in-jokes of her family,_ she decided then, snuggling into her brother’s chest with a contented sigh, earning herself a warm, soft smile from her eldest brother who carried her so very carefully. “Come,” Lithuidor bade, carrying her out of the house then and into foreign territory. “We have stars to see, and stories to spin…”

Had there been any doubt in Sakura’s mind as to being reborn in a strange new world, they would have been washed away at that sight. The stars set upon the clear night sky made those of the Elemental Nations seem drab and dull in comparison.

“Why are stars so important?” Maethon’s voice rang out, and Sakura spared a glance for her twin before she was captivated yet again by the sky above them. Part of her felt inexplicably sorrowful at the sight, but it was an old sorrow which ate at her so. One she had carried for the last five years – the pain of loss. Though she would weather it still, and in time, she knew it would pass. _How could it not when she had a new family?_

_Forgetting your old one already?_ that near silent voice in the back of her mind whispered, those kinds of self doubting and depreciating thoughts coiling like snakes in the back of her mind. “I could never forget them,” she murmured, pushing back the tears which were always too eager to fall.

Lithuidor chuckled, mistaking the meaning of her words. He could hardly hear the thoughts in her mind. “Indeed, dear sister, I doubt any who roam under these skies could forget them so—”

“Except for _orcs_ and those in the Enemy’s service,” Leithedir spat, grey eyes narrowed, hatred boiling over his face then.

“Orcs?” Maethon echoed, and Reniedir scowled, shooting a glare at their red-haired brother.

“Naught you need to worry of just yet,” Lithuidor said, holding her that much more tightly to his chest as they passed a copse of trees, moving away from the lights of the buildings Sakura could see quite some distance away. Her eyesight truly was incredible, and thanks to her having the eyesight of a human once before, she knew just how much her own had improved. She doubted she could ever go back to such a level of sight.

Sakura blinked, resting her head against her brother’s chest, contentment filling her at the soft tune Lithuidor began humming as they walked. It was odd if she truly thought on it – she was no longer human. Her brothers had made that explicitly clear, even without knowing of her previous life. To them she was a blank slate, innocent and free of the knowledge she truly did carry. They were blissfully ignorant to the sorrow which had followed her birth. _To her death and subsequent rebirth._ She doubted any knew of such a phenomenon.

“Are we nearly at our destination?” Maethon asked, proving that despite their odd rapid mental maturity, he was still yet a child at heart.

Sakura barely concealed the soft fond chuckle which left her lips in a huff.

“Almost, little brother,” Reniedir whispered, and yet Sakura heard it so very clearly – her ears being yet another sense enhanced with her reincarnation as an elf. “Almost…”

“It would seem your twin brother is rather impatient,” Lithuidor said, a smile curving at his lips. Her brothers were oftentimes far too smiley, more so in their presence… despite them being so closely linked to the death of their mother, which then apparently contributed to the death of their father in some way Sakura couldn’t quite fathom. “How fortunate you do not seem to have inherited that impatience…”

“Inherited?” Sakura tilted her head, echoing his word in question.

His smile turned softer – more fragile – and his hand came up, fingers smoothing her petal pink hair back away from her face. “Oftentimes I forget you did not ever get to truly meet our mother…” he murmured, petting her hair then, and Sakura had the strangest feeling that those around her saw her as something akin to a cute, small animal. “Mother was so terribly impatient.” His grin brightened once more, and he moved his face in closer, voice a hushed whisper then as if sharing a deadly secret in the next breath. “Would you believe me if I told you it was mother who proposed to father? She was quite insistent about it too – our grandfather was most amused at his son’s flustered antics in response, that when it came to their marriage he gladly welcomed our mother into the family…”

“She sounds… wonderful,” Sakura said, voice perilously soft at the thought of the elleth she would never come to know. “Do you not blame me and Maethon?” Green eyes lifted, meeting the grey ones which narrowed in on her at her question. “After all, it was our birth—”

Lithuidor stopped, the hilltop only a matter of metres away, shifting his grip on her to stare at her properly then. “Who told you of such an idea?”

Sakura swallowed, shivering at the terribly serious expression set upon her brother’s face in that instant. A glance at Reniedir and Leithedir showed the same kind of expression there, and Sakura whimpered as his grip on her tightened even further. “No—”

“Was it Nardhion?”

“No!” Sakura shook her head, casting her gaze away. The sheer intensity of the expression on her eldest brother’s face was oddly terrifying. “Nobody told me such a thing… I merely learnt of how mother died… and thought perhaps you might dislike me and brother… because oftentimes there seemed to be moments in which you would avoid us…” She stared at the ground, shame welling up within her at the thought and realisation that she had doubted in her family’s love. It wasn’t as though she and Maethon were ever left to their own devices. Her brothers were terribly overprotective. That should have been enough proof that they loved her so very dearly, and yet… Sakura bit her lip, cursing those memories which made her who she was. The memories of that world in which one had to be suspicious of everyone and everything. “I am sorry—”

Fingers brushed at her cheeks, familiar and calloused, and Sakura found her head being forcibly turned so she could meet that intense grey-eyed stare which sent shivers rolling down her spine. “You and Maethon are our precious little siblings, Berenloth,” Lithuidor said, unblinking and unfaltering. “Do not ever doubt our love for you…”

“Mother was aware of the risks of birthing the both of you,” Reniedir chimed in, looking off into the distance, a melancholic look upon his face. “We ought to have persuaded mother to venture to Imladris earlier in her pregnancy… perhaps then…”

“She chose to remain,” Leithedir said firmly. “Mother was stubborn, and so none of us can blame ourselves… least of all you, Berenloth.” He came over then, joining their eldest brother in an attempt to comfort her. Though after five years of being coddled by her brothers, Sakura could hardly say that the overwhelming affection showered down upon her was all that surprising. Rather, it only made her feel out of sorts – _wrong and out of place_ – whenever she doubted her siblings.

“I think,” Reniedir spoke, breaking the oddly tense silence which had fallen for but a moment, “that we ought to move on to a lighter topic – such as the tales of the stars and the great migration of the three clans, perhaps so…?”

Lithuidor smiled, though his eyes never lost that intensity with which he stared at her. “I do believe that would be prudent indeed.”


	2. The Family

Elves, as Sakura soon learnt, aged strangely. Time seemed to pass that much more slowly, and her body aged slower than she was used to. Her brothers showed no signs of aging, no greying hairs as she thought perhaps there ought to be, given how many seasons came and went. Though given three of her six brothers had silvery tresses…

Sakura tilted her head, humming under her breath – one of the tunes of the songs Nardhion often sang to her, the sweet voice of his wife Lastriel sometimes joining in when it came time for her to sleep. It was sweet, if an odd thing to her war-addled mind. Sometimes, in fact, far too often, her thoughts strayed back to those times when she had been of the leaf-kin. Her memories of that time were oddly fuzzy, more so when compared to the sharp clarity of her elven memories. Despite that though, she could still remember the scant few times her mother had sung to her. Only when she had been a toddler, and not a single tune after such a time.

She had been born in a village made for war, and any possible gentle edges were shorn off in such a place. It was a startling thing to think of, though if she were completely honest, she tried _not_ to think of such things. Mainly because otherwise she ran the risk of being sucked into a spiral of thoughts and questions pertaining to her strange, almost unfathomable circumstances. _How did one deal with death and rebirth?_ It wasn’t as though there was a manual or a guide to it. Rather she was left to flounder pathetically – dropped from a freshwater lake into a great sea, with nothing bar her own wits to keep her from drowning.

Indeed, that was part of the reason she didn’t like to linger long on those kinds of thoughts. Least of all, because she wanted to survive and live on. For whatever supernatural phenomena had gone on there was something which couldn’t be undone. Death was something that couldn’t be taken back. Sakura wisely ignored the musings of the mythical eyes both Madara, and then Sasuke had. They were figures not in her future, ghosts of her past which Sakura supposed she ought to leave behind. But, as she was learning over the time she spent there in those oddly peaceful and gentle lands, one could take the girl out of shinobi, but never take the shinobi out of the girl. She was forever marred by her past. _Stained_ – the word came to her then – and never had she felt more like an imposter than she did upon those sorts of thoughts. _Because her brothers had expected a sweet, innocent little girl, and as much as Sakura tried to play the part, she fell so very short of the mark._ The proof was in her actions, and the glimmers of concern and worry which flashed across her brothers’ faces at those times.

“What are you doing?” The sound of her twin’s voice rang out across the garden, and Sakura blinked, turning her attention away from the flower crown she had been weaving to find her twin and one of her older brothers there too.

Lithuidor was already sitting beside her, having been her self-proclaimed escort. The one she always had, being the child that she was. Her family really was overprotective. It made her feel almost smothered at times, the overwhelming love almost suffocating her from time to time. Wisely, she hadn’t decided to escape by going to the roof for peace and quiet, because she didn’t want them to fret over her that much more. She was but a foolish, naïve child to them. She could see it in the way they treated her, like something made from glass. Which had answered the question as to whether it might have been normal to be reborn in that world…

Rather than Reniedir being the one to accompany Maethon though, he was accompanied by the brother closest to them in age. Eithion was almost a mirror image of Lithuidor, the same long dark hair, similar grey eyes which always seemed so very piercing, but his nose was thinner, the tip pointed upwards ever so slightly, and his eyebrows grew in thicker, framing those sterling grey eyes, making them seem so much darker, though no less knowing. Sakura only wondered if there was something about her new kin which made them seem like their eyes saw all. She wondered if, one day too, her own green eyes would look like that too.

There was one particular difference between the pair though, that being that Eithion was almost painfully quiet. Oftentimes, she found herself being communicated to via grunts. _And that tugged on her memory far too much, bringing old sorrows to the surface._ Sakura wondered if her brother somehow knew how painful his visage could be at times – for he was the brother she saw the least of. Part of her wondered whether he was hurt by such a thing, since he wasn’t one to wear his emotions upon his face for the world to see. He was different from her in that regards.

“I am making flower crowns, dearest twin,” she murmured, twisting one of the pale pink flowers she had plucked from a nearby bush. “If you wish to join me, you would be most welcome,” she continued, musing on how she was growing more alike her older brother in the odd way of wording her words. It sounded so very formal compared to that of _before._ Sakura smiled. _But that,_ she mused, _was long in the past, or at least it certainly felt that way what with how slowly the seasons trickled by._

_So why did the name Berenloth still feel so very foreign to her?_

“Are we making one for everyone?” Maethon asked, tilting his head, blinking at her owlishly with those grey eyes of his. Her own green ones were foreign there, an anomaly, but there had been no questions of why she had such eyes when the portrait painted of her parents showed they grey or blue eyes. She wondered if that, perhaps, might have been a contributing factor to the fact she hadn’t really met anyone bar family.

Her finger twirled in her pink locks – again, another anomaly. All of her family had been shown to have more earthly, natural colours, or the colour of seafoam upon shores, that was – which Sakura supposed was indeed a natural colour. The flower in her hand was the same colouring as her hair, so Sakura thought she might’ve been able to call her hair a natural colouring in that world. It wasn’t like any of her brothers had made a big deal of such a hue.

“This one is just about done, I believe,” Lithuidor hummed, carefully lifting the little crown made of those pink flowers and the accompanying leaves to rest it carefully atop her head.

Eithion’s lips twitched, a smile pulling at his lips. “Here is the little princess of our family,” he murmured, seating himself down beside Maethon. “You look very pretty, Berenloth.” His fingers ran across her cheek gently, tucking her pink locks back behind her ear, cementing the belief that none of them thought her a freak. It made her chest feel oddly fuzzy and warm in ways she hadn’t experienced before.

“Ai,” Reniedir’s voice rang out across the garden, and Sakura looked over to where her second eldest brother waited. “I see Berenloth is finally wearing her namesake…” His feet ghosted over the steps, silvery hair blustering about in the gentle sea breeze as he came over to greet them, having evidently just arrived back at the main house. There wasn’t quite enough space for all of them to live there permanently.

Sakura blinked, not wanting to take her crown off just then – and if that wasn’t childish, she didn’t know what was. _She wondered if her reincarnation there had affected her yet in ways she hadn’t realised as of then._ Her fingers found a stray flower, for there was nothing else which could be her namesake, pink as its blossoms were. “Berenloth…” she mumbled, gently stroking at the flower which she had been named after. It seemed she had been named after a type of blossom once more. It was oddly fitting in a way. Though it didn’t particularly help her distance herself from her previous life – because it was just that: _in the past_.

“It is called Berenloth,” Lithuidor said, voice going into that of a teacher’s, as it always did when he told them some important fact or tale of what were called the ‘Elder Days’. Though Nardhion had told her she knew very little about those days, for her kind, precious eldest brother only told them of the happiest tales of those times – and those were somethings which were few and far between. “And the leaves are called Berenlas,” he continued, petting Maethon’s head then.

“Sometimes I think little Maethon might have been misnamed so,” Reniedir added, chuckling as he sent a soft, fond look down at her twin. “For wherever Berenloth blooms, Berenlas always follows,” he continued, pinching her twin’s cheeks then. “And you do follow your precious sister so!”

“It means ‘Bold Blossom’ – your name, that is,” Eithion informed her then, voice perilously soft and almost inaudible, if not for her really very sharp ears. “For how it blooms where naught else will, which means the flower is quite often seen as a symbol of hope – life where there should be naught.”

She blinked once more, brain seeming to stumble to a halt at those words. _Life where there should be naught._ A snort escaped her lips before she could stop herself, the pearls of laughter oddly hysterical, startling her brothers then. Maethon, somewhat used to her oddities, and being so much younger, merely started finding his own flowers for his crowns under the watchful eye of Eithion.

“What troubles you little sister?” Lithuidor demanded, and Sakura blinked up at him with watery green eyes, laughing all the while. Sorrow was tinged in with her amusement, because really that name was so very fitting. _She was alive when she shouldn’t have been._ When every shred of logic in that pretty pink head of hers whispered that she should be dead. _She should have stayed dead._

Reniedir pulled her atop his lap, hand coming to stroke soothing circles upon her back. “Berenloth?” he whispered, grey eyes staring at her in confusion, worry scrawled upon his expression as she giggled tearfully.

“Will you not tell us what burdens you?” Lithuidor asked again, after a few moments of silence.

“’tis a fitting name,” she whispered, snuggling into her brother then, relishing in the warmth of her sibling and the lack of much temperature difference between them. Proof they were both alive. Sakura doubted she’d be able to forget being dead. But she was alive then and there, and she ought to have not dwelled on that thought for as long as she had. Her thoughts were a mess at the best of times, and that wasn’t quite the right moment to try and start untangling them all.

“Berenloth?” Reniedir repeated, sounding like a broken record by that point, and Sakura only smiled up at him, wiping at her watery eyes then with one hand.

“’s nothin’,” she said, but being the overprotective and well-meaning brothers they were, they didn’t believe a word she said in regards to that matter.

Reniedir frowned, holding her close, rocking her back and forth. _Like a baby._ Sakura didn’t quite know what to consider herself anymore. Some days she felt like the adult she was meant to be, but sometimes she felt like the child she looked like. If only because her brothers seemed so very mature. More so than she had ever been. Though Sakura supposed she had died fairly young in the grand scheme of things – when she compared it to the rumoured ages which her grandparents had reached before. It hadn’t been all that young for a shinobi. Sakura didn’t know what to make of that. Not now that she was living her second life.

She hadn’t ever thought that a possibility before the madness ensued and fate swept her along to whatever destiny awaited her. It wasn’t Sasuke’s arms, as she had once thought her destiny to end within. A hand smoothed her hair, Lithuidor leaning in close, and then she was pretty much sandwiched between her two brothers. Their presences were a comfort – a reason to pull herself from the thoughts of her old life, because like it or not she had a new one. With some incredibly overprotective brothers in tow, that was.

For now, that was enough for her.

It had to be.

* * *

“Berenloth!” The shout reached her, and Sakura paused in her stride, glancing back at her brothers as they attempted to catch up. Despite her tiny, undersized legs, she was ridiculously fast. _If she used her chakra, then that was entirely her own business._ “Wait there!” Lithuidor demanded, grey eyes narrowed, and Sakura smiled impishly at that all too familiar look. The one befitting of a dragon guarding its treasures.

Her tongue stuck out, and then she was running off, despite the outraged cries from behind her. Overprotection was overrated, and Sakura loved the feeling of the wind hitting her skin and tangling in her long pink locks. Out of everything of her body, it had been her hair which had grown the most over the seasons passed, becoming a silky pink curtain upon her back with a glossy tinge to it which would have made her once pre-genin self burn with jealousy. _The perks of being an elf,_ or so Sakura mused, as she ran ahead, through the path carved amongst the trees of the small forest rumoured to have grown and flourished only rather recently.

Feet pounded against the earth in hard pursuit, but Sakura only continued to run on. The scent of salt grew thicker on the gentle breeze, the sounds of waters rushing up the shores becoming that much louder in her ears as she hurried off in front of her brothers. _Her fretting brothers who seemed to think the only place she would be wholly safe was in their arms._

“Berenloth!” Hands grabbed a hold of her then, one of them finally catching up with her, grip sliding underneath her armpits then, and she scowled as she was lifted until she was level with Reniedir’s stern expression. “Lithuidor told you to wait,” he said sternly.

Sakura only huffed. “It is hardly my fault you all lumber along like waddling ducks – so very painfully slow.”

Nardhion grinned, Maethon ensconced in his own arms – just as she was swiftly ensconced in Reniedir’s. “Well, dear sister, not all of us can have the energy to run amok akin to a raging dragon hunting for gold,” he replied, skipping in his step then, mirth pouring from his every pore at the sight of Lithuidor’s rather irritated expression. Sakura was only grateful her eldest brother was not so quick to temper as Nardhion was. He was always so very quick to tie himself up in knots over things which enraged him so – hence his name.

Her cheeks puffed out. “Must you liken me to a brute of a creature so very hated by our fellow kin?” she demanded, sounding so very petulant then at her brother’s teasing. _She loved and hated them in equal turns, though Sakura couldn’t deny her love for then ran far deeper than any annoyance all their actions might generate._ She had never had brothers before, nor so many of them, nor had anyone been so very protective of her as they had all been. Though Sakura supposed that was more likely due to the fact she had grown up in a military dictatorship before rather than the monarchy she was now seemingly living under.

Though she had never met this ‘King Gil-galad’ who apparently resided in Mithlond, another harbour-side town, though apparently far more large and grand compared to the one they lived beside. Forlond was its name, and Sakura had never set foot into it. The reasons for that were fairly evident, if the five overprotective brothers she had were any indication. Sakura only hoped Maethon didn’t grow up to be even half as protective. _But given she was not only the ‘youngest’, but also the only female sibling in the little family they had…_ From the little she knew of the tales of siblinghood, the odds for there being no overprotectiveness even after she was fully grown – well, they were slim indeed. She wondered whether it would be the same if her parents had lived, if they had another, older, living relative to watch over them too. Not that they didn’t have any.

Her father’s parents – her paternal grandparents – also resided in Mithlond, though she had never seen them in person. It was quite a distance away, a few days of sailing with good wind that was, and she and her brother were far too young to make such a journey. _If only because her brothers would go insane with worry._ Not to mention the fact they were indeed guarded like the gold of a dragon. _Nardhion had told her enough tales about the jewel-scaled beasts for her to be acutely aware of the similarities between the ferocity of a dragon and the ferocity of overprotective brothers._

“Berenloth,” Reniedir spoke sharply, arms like iron bands where they wrapped around her, ensuring she wouldn’t escape once more. “You know neither me nor Lithuidor like it when you run off as such—”

“Surely you could let her off just this once,” Leithedir chimed in, red locks falling over his shoulders as he leant to peer at where she was snuggled to her brother’s chest. “She is merely excited – more so likely because the sea is calling to her blood as it has done ours.”

“Indeed,” Nardhion said, voice ringing melodically as he all but danced his way towards the shores. “You forget the blood of the sea-folk in the High West runs fourfold in our veins…”

“Grandfather’s grandmother, grandmother’s great grandfather, those on our father’s side, and then grandfather’s father along with grandmother’s mother on our mother’s side,” Eithion spoke sombrely, glancing between Maethon and herself. “Though they may be only distant relations to us, the lines have all crossed with our births – and there are precious few Noldor with such ties to the Falmari as we…”

“That is so,” Reniedir murmured. “And it seems we are fated to be somewhat different to the rest of the Noldor due to this.”

“Though some of us certainly inherited more of this blood,” Nardhion said, a sly, mocking smile coming to rest upon his face. “Or do you forget that the Falmari are peaceful folk…” His eyes darted down to the blade on Lithuidor’s waist. “They do not like war, especially when you compare such tendencies to those of the Noldor.”

Leithedir smiled pleasantly, bodily moving between Nardhion and their eldest brother then. “Well, dearest brother, we cannot deny out of all of us, your voice is undoubtedly the most reminiscent of our distant ancestors – most of those whom you serenade with those wonderous tones of yours would wholly agree,” he said, a mischievous smile pulling at his lips, revealing pearly white teeth so bright they might as well have shone. “Though I have heard that oftentimes – discounting a precious few – the Falmari were but a little shorter than we Noldor, and if that is indeed true, then clearly there is proof that the blood of our wonderful Falmari ancestors indeed runs thickest within you!”

Nardhion’s teeth grinded audibly as he stared _up_ at his younger brother. “You brat!”

Leithedir merely laughed, springing away as their shortest brother adjusted his grip on the youngest brother in order to better chase their middle brother. Laughter slipped from her own lips then, merry and free. _Like a child’s laughter was meant to sound akin to._ Fingers ran over her cheek, and Sakura paused briefly in her chuckles at her brothers’ antics to glance up at the two sets of grey eyes which stared at her so softly.

“Do not stop your laughter on account of us,” Lithuidor murmured, thumb stroking at her cheeks still very much plump with baby fat. “We do not hear such sounds from you as much as we ought to…”

Reniedir hummed in amused agreement.

“Besides,” Lithuidor continued, “once we reach the sands – where there are not as many trees behind which you can vanish from our sight – we will let you scamped off if you so wish.” His smile turned impossibly fond. “I have little doubts for that.”

“Though I will require you to hold at least one of our hands each,” Reniedir added, and the smile which had been forming on her own lips promptly vanished.

Her cheeks ballooned out again, and Sakura folded her arms then, glaring up at her brother, earning laughter from her silvery-haired sibling. “How exactly is that to allow me to scamper off, as you so put it?” she demanded.

“Relax, sweetling,” Reniedir said. “I merely tease. Of course I only expect you to hold one of our hands, and the other may be left free to do with what you please…”

“Ugh,” Sakura grumbled, folding her arms with a huff as she turned, ready to face the sea and all its beauty as they came out from behind the treeline. By that time, Maethon had been passed over to Eithion – if only for the express purpose of allowing Nardhion to chase Leithedir around upon the silky soft sands without worry for damaging their littlest brother. Her twin was as silvery-haired as both Nardhion and Reniedir, and Sakura couldn’t help wonder if he would remain the littlest. _Or would that be her description – what with females often having a shorter average height compared to males._ She didn’t quite know if that applied still to the logic of her new world, given how she had never properly met many ellith as of yet.

“Come now,” Lithuidor said, fingers brushing over her cheek once more to regain her attention. “Do not frown so – we are at the sea, look?” His hand left her skin, gesturing instead to the scene before her. _And what a scene it was._

Waters, grey and blue, rolled towards the shore, white spindrift frothing upon the crests of each wave as they slapped against the wet sands. No mass of land was visible in the distance, the sea seeming great and almost unfathomable to her eyes. Breath caught in her throat, she stared and stared at the sea and the shore, wondering how land and sea could look so different compared to those of her life before. She could never remember the seas of the Elemental Nations seeming as beautiful as the sight before her eyes.

_Well, they were dyed in blood, weren’t they?_ a snide voice whispered upon the eaves of her mind, and Sakura frowned for but a moment before the sensation of sand beneath her shoes pulled at her attention so. Her toes clenched in her thin-soled shoes, the near white silt shifting beneath them – a stark contrast to the feel and look of the rich green grass some metres back. “Beautiful,” she whispered, the words slipping from her lips with nary a thought, and Sakura closed her eyes and listened to the soothing sounds of the constant waves crashing upon the sands.

“Indeed,” Reniedir murmured, holding her hand as he had promised to.

“I want to go closer,” she said, the words a demand. She wanted to feel the water upon her skin, an odd urge to edge closer – to listen more to of the beautiful music of the seas.

“Then we had best take our shoes off, no?” her silvery-haired brother said, not letting go of her hand even once as he took his own shoes off. Sakura wasted no time in throwing her shoes aside, running down to greet the ocean as the powerful waves rolled in one after another. “It would not do for us to get them wet, else it would hardly be a pleasant walk back home.”

Sakura hummed in agreement, all but dragging her brother to the place where sea met sand, closing her eyes and taking a breath, content to merely listen for that moment as the sea whispered to her of the freedom she so longed for.

“Maethon does not seem as agreeable with the sea as Berenloth,” Eithion said, his voice reaching her where she stood, content amidst the gentler waves, power broken as the waves themselves broke. “You will find us near the treeline, do not fret.”

Lithuidor hummed in agreement, and Sakura could feel his eyes set upon her back where she stood. _She was probably far too close to the sea for his liking, as small and drownable as she was._ Briefly Sakura wondered how long he would allow her to remain as such where she was, dipping her feet into the sea.

“Do you wish to play?” Reniedir asked, breaking the odd silence which had fallen around them both as they simply stood there. “You likely do not have long before our slightly more protective brother comes to fish the pair of us out…” he uttered conspiratorially as he leant over to better whisper the words to her. _Though with the superb hearing of elves…_

Sakura shook her head, lifting her feet up and down as the cool waters lapped at them, the sea whispering behind her, urging her to move as the waters around her constantly did. Restless – that was the word to describe such a feeling. She wanted to do something, anything, and the idea of what to do with the odd restless energy swirling within her came to mind then as she caught sound of that beautiful music hidden within the waves. Words came together, weaving into song, and Sakura twirled around her brother, eyes closed, ever changing the hand of the brother who held her so as her sweet, childish voice rang out amidst the sea and shore. She loved the voice she had then over her voice of old, and the sea’s song swept her up in its sway.

She danced and danced, much too caught up in her own amusement to note as another of her brother’s snuck up upon her. Hands gripped underneath her armpits, wrenching her from the grasp of the waters, and her eyes flickered open in surprise. Nardhion smiled up at her, Leithedir earning a well-earned rest from being chased up on the grassy banks with her twin. “My,” he murmured, grinning so very widely as he stared at her, holding her aloft still and the waves crashed angrily upon the shore. “To think your voice would be this sweet – a bard we might make of you yet!”

Reniedir tilted his head. “Have you been teaching her songs?” he asked, looking at Nardhion consideringly, sparing a glance at the skies and the sea as the clouds darkened and the seas grew more riotous.

“Nay,” Nardhion murmured, pulling her into his embrace as her brothers were wont to do far too often. “That was all of her own making, hence why I think we may have yet another budding bard on our hands!” he chattered excitedly, grey eyes shining with excitement.

Sakura frowned. _It had hardly been her own – it belonged to the sea._ But she doubted the distinction would matter too much. Besides, she hardly wanted to spoil her brother’s mood right then and there.

“Come away from the waters,” Lithuidor spoke then, grey eyes narrowed at the sea and sky. “There looks to be a storm coming upon the tides, and I do not want for us to be caught unawares,” he said, glancing at her then, and she knew why he wanted to go back. They were probably too small to be caught in a storm, and she doubted her brother wished for any of them to grow ill from such a thing.

Nardhion’s lip curled. “If you insist,” he muttered, glancing nervously at sky and sea as he made his way up the beach, shoes squelching.

“You really should have taken your shoes off, little brother,” Reniedir murmured, earning one of the scathing glares Nardhion was becoming well known for having. _In Sakura’s eyes at least._ “But I suppose hindsight does tend to be an issue with you,” he said, ruffling the same silver locks he too possessed then, despite the glare ten times more disgusted than the one before he received in response.

_Come back soon, will you not?_

Sakura blinked. “What?”

Reniedir glanced at her then, raising one silvery brow in question. “Is something the matter, Berenloth?”

She shook her head, snuggling into her brother’s chest. “Nothing,” she answered, peering over Nardhion’s shoulder at the roiling waves of the sea they left behind.


	3. The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!

Her feet mingled with the pale white sands, pink hair whipping out behind her as a strong gust of wind played with her pastel-coloured locks. Nardhion sat nearby, grey eyes drawn with worry and nervousness as he kept glancing towards the forest path they had ventured down that very morning. Sakura supposed it might as well have been expected, given he had all but stolen her away from the rest of her brothers. Dimly, the moral, just part of her whispered that she was worrying them by having vanished with only Nardhion without so much as having asked for permission.

Sakura was tired of having to ask for permission. She got it – truly, she did. She was a precious, precocious child in their eyes. One who needed to be coddled and protected as all elven children were. They knew nothing about her history which spanned beyond her birth in that world. They didn’t know of the blood she had spilt, the blood which coated her tiny _too-small_ hands. She wondered if any of her brothers had anything of an inkling as to how much of an unusual child she was.

Eithion was spending less time with the both of them. In reality, it was only slight, but she saw less and less of her quiet brother as time went by. Something she was grateful and yet nervous for – because apparently she had a niece or nephew on the way. _And she still looked like a chubby-cheeked toddler._ Admittedly she wasn’t even in double digits yet, but still… She didn’t understand why she wasn’t any bigger. _Was it something to do with being an elf?_ She had gathered that they aged rather strangely, but that was about it. Admittedly, she might’ve been able to learn more had her brothers allowed her to venture into town, but alas… the joys of having extremely overprotective brothers prevented her there.

“What ails you, little sister?” Nardhion asked then, the phrasing so reminiscent of Lithuidor that Sakura laughed. “Tell your favourite big brother who brought you to the shores you so longed for, will you not?”

A smile graced her brother’s lips, grey eyes still boring into her, demanding an answer from her. Sakura only shuffled on her feet. “Dagnis is pregnant,” she said, musing on Eithon’s pretty red-haired wife. They had been properly introduced some weeks ago, while informing her and Maethon that there would soon be another child in the family. _Their niece or nephew._

“Eithion still cherishes you and Maethon both – that will not change with his child’s birth,” Nardhion replied calmly, ruffling her hair when she drew close enough to where he lounged on a tufty bit of grass before the shores began in earnest.

Sakura huffed. “I know. I am hardly foolish,” she grumbled, pouting then. “I… It is just that I am still so very small,” she said. “When will I grow?” she demanded, the question which had plagued her for years coming then to the forefront of her mind.

Nardhion blinked, and Sakura could only mirror his dumbstruck expression. One which was so swiftly transformed as he doubled over and laughed merrily. “Berenloth, dearest sister, please do never change!” he cried, pinching at her cheek, despite the surly scowl that earned from her. “It would seem you are your mother’s daughter too!” he said, ruffling her hair that much more affectionately as he pulled her into a hug – as all her brothers were wont to do. His lips were pressed to her forehead then, a flush rising in her cheeks at the affection she was smothered in. _It was such a far cry from that of the Elemental Nations._ Sakura didn’t know whether to feel guilty for comparing her lives there and then. “Darling child,” Nardhion murmured, ever so very fancy with his wording. “Please, do not be in such a hurry to grow up.”

Her arms folded across her chest, even as her legs trembled with the want to go and play on the beach set before her. Truly, she wanted to enjoy the little slice of freedom she had found for but a moment. “Hardly. I merely want to know how long I will be stuck staring up at you ugly lot!”

Nardhion chuckled yet again, soft fingers, unlike her brothers who used blade and bow, brushing over her baby smooth skin. “You will be fully grown in body upon your fiftieth year, but elves are only considered adult upon their hundredth year. Those times are but a while away from you yet,” he remarked, and Sakura could only blink.

_A hundred years and then she’d be an adult?_ Her stomach twisted oddly, the reality that she _was no longer human_ sinking in that much quicker than it had in her last six years, and it weighed heavily upon her, like a lead weight dragging her down into the depths of the great, wide ocean. _Her brothers had wanted a sweet little elfling-girl-child to raise._ Instead they had gotten her. Never before had she felt like more of an imposter than she had in that moment. “And how long do elves live, then?” she heard herself ask distantly.

Her brother frowned then – as though she had said something strange. “Berenloth, aside from blade or grief – neither of which I hope you will ever experience – how would we die?” Sakura blinked at her brother, feeling so very separated from everything then. _Because what was her brother saying?_ Old age was a fairly well-known method of dying – when the body began failing and degrading. “Tell me, little sister, who has been filling your pretty little head with all these strange ideas?”

Sakura only blinked, numbly realising she was in some form of shock, because— _because elves didn’t die from old age._ Her brother spoke about death as though it were something an elf wasn’t meant to experience, and for Sakura – for a girl who had come from a world of blood, fire, and death – it was practically incomprehensible. _How was one meant to live on and on, eternity stretching before them like the space beyond the night sky, dark, unfathomable, and endless?_

“Berenloth?” The hands holding her shook her back and forth gently, the clouds overhead darkening. “Sister, what is the matter with you? You look so very pale indeed! As if a shadow of the distant past has come to rest upon your very soul itself,” he murmured, thumb brushing against her cold cheek, and Sakura could only blink at the eerily correct comparison. For a shadow of her past had indeed come to rest upon her in that instant. One which made her unable to comprehend the idea of infinity stretching out before her, _because she was not to die from old age._ “What am I saying?” Nardhion mumbled then, a frown set upon his face, brow crinkling in concern as she stared up at him so very blankly. “How could such an idea be true for you?” he murmured, rocking her softly, humming a soft tune as all her more musically inclined brothers were wont to do when dark moods and ill thoughts claimed her for their own. “Alas, if only I had the foresight to bring my lute, or perhaps my flute instead… Then I may have been able to cheer you up with some hearty music – but I believe, dear sister, you will have to make do with only my voice instead.”

The sounds of Nardhion’s voice washed over her then, his words carrying on the wind, the sea all but an accompaniment to his music. He sung to the sounds of the sea, Sakura realised belatedly, the soft lullaby washing over her akin to how the sea washed over the sands of the shores. Her tiny hands curled in the fabric of his tunic and overcoat, fisting in the silvery grey of the material which only brought out the colouring of her brother’s eyes. _Her brother._ It was still an oddly foreign concept to her, and Sakura hated that about herself. She wished she could have been an ordinary elfling, and not the horrible imposter – the shinobi stuffed into a tiny, innocent-looking body – that she was.

A wave of irrational anger surged within her, hatred swelling up in her tiny body, and Sakura pulled away from her brother. Her too-small hands shook, curling into fists, and Nardhion’s voice faltered then. “Is my voice not to your liking, dear one?” he asked, mirth curling at her lips, but Sakura turned on her heel, running away then – because that was all she could do. _They wanted – no, they deserved – a little elfling to love and raise with care._ Not whatever the hell she was.

Her feet pounded against the sands, tears leaking down her cheeks, stomach twisting as she heard her brother calling out behind her, clear worry in his tone. _Sakura hated it._ She hated the larger hands which caught her before she could get too far. She hated the warm chest she was brought into, and the soft voice which sung to her softly then. _She was Sakura, not Berenloth. She had stolen the chance for a sweet, innocent little sister from them._ She hated the hand in her hair, mussing her hair as long, fine fingers – a musician’s fingers – stroking her petal pink locks down. _The hair which was the same colour as the petals of Berenloth, her namesake. A flower which bloomed where naught else would, a life where there should only be death._

No more questions were demanded of her, Nardhion only holding her close as he sat on the sands, singing soft, soothing songs which Sakura didn’t want to hear. She was angry, and her anger didn’t want to subside. Not until it had been spent. Soothing songs weren’t particularly helping with that matter. A scowl pulled at her lips, and she thrashed so suddenly in her brother’s arms that he lost his grip, and his song with a yelp of pain. Shame roiled through her at the sound. _Yet more proof of why they deserved so much better than her._

“Berenloth!” her brother cried, making that feeling so much worse as her feet pounded against the soft sands. She didn’t want to be there. _She should have just stayed dead._ Her tiny hands curled into fists in that tiny, innocent-looking body of hers. _Imposter._ But then again, she hadn’t asked to be reborn there, in that strange elven body. Anger surged yet again, thick and hot. _Why had she even ended up there?_

The sea surged on her left, cold, frigid waters lapping at her toes as she ran closer to the shores than she should have. Behind her, Nardhion cried for his sister to come back. _But she wasn’t Berenloth._ She didn’t know how to be. _She was Sakura._ She didn’t know how to be anything – anyone – else. Truly, she didn’t know how anyone else hadn’t seen it – had no idea why her brother’s couldn’t tell she was a cuckoo in the nest.

Sakura didn’t want to be a cuckoo.

She was angry at whoever – whatever – had made her become one. She ran on, away from the nest she had been placed in, away from the family who were trying to raise her as their own. She ran and ran, until her little legs couldn’t take anymore. Nardhion was barely visible, a dot on the horizon, despite his best attempts to catch up to her. Chakra was a godsend at times, as inhuman as it made her strength and stamina seem at times. Sakura nearly choked on bitter laughter at that thought. _Inhuman._ She wasn’t even human anymore – she was already inhuman without the addition of chakra. The realisation finally settling in biting to her bones. _But Nardhion would catch up in time,_ she knew. Her own tiny body was to blame for that. Rage boiled inside her, and Sakura wanted nothing more than to scream and punch something. _But there was nothing to punch._ Her own body would only become injured if she were to do such a thing. _And then she would be fretted over by everyone at Berenloth’s home._ Her lips curled into a sneer, hatred festering inside her like an infected wound. One which had long since lingered from her birth in that world. _A world so bizarre and strange… and what was she supposed to do in that place so far removed from everything and anything she had once known?_

Sakura thought she had adjusted to that strange place over the last six years. _She was wrong._ So very wrong. Beside her, the sea ebbed and flowed in, waves slapping against the shore, sounding as angry as she felt. Distantly, she could hear footsteps. Nardhion was catching up, and Sakura was tired of running by then. It did nothing to help the anger boiling up within her, the bitterness which stemmed from the question of _why? Why had she ended up there? Why was she being called Berenloth?_

Salty water lapped at her toes, waves breaking and crashing upon the shores, wind whistling gently in her ears. The footsteps were only growing closer, only going to bring her back to the inevitable. Sakura sucked in a sharp breath then, closing her eyes as she mused over calming down. _Of how to push back that anger which curled inside her gut, wanting to lash out._ She didn’t want to hurt her brothers. The ones she had probably stolen from the innocent soul who should’ve been born in her place.

Wind blew, the sound almost all she could hear aside from her brother’s footsteps. Chakra threaded through her ears, and Sakura strained to listen to the rest of the world beyond, wondering whether she could find some sort of peace through those sounds. The sound of water rushing back and forth, the rustle of the wind in the trees, the chirping of birds, the feminine voice singing softly—

Blinking, Sakura opened her eyes, dimly wondering if Lastriel had come to join her husband in catching his wayward sister. _She didn’t like the soft, gentle singing._ It only stirred the fires of her anger rather than quenching them so. “No,” she murmured then, rage burning in her voice as she raised it then, singing of fire and anger, and the rage which burnt inside her unchecked at her displacement to that world. _She wouldn’t calm down. Not then. Not yet._

Her voice was lost to the wild, small and weak as it was, irritation only burning in her throat as her song of rage and stirred confusion became barely audible in nature. Sakura wanted to be heard. She hardly wanted to wait for her to grow bigger and her lungs stronger. She wanted to sing, and she wanted to sing _now._

_Impatient little creature, are you not?_

Chakra threaded into her voice, infusing her words with the power they needed to make themselves heard in that strange, confusing place which didn’t play by the same rules she was so used to. She sung, chakra lining ever word in ways she hadn’t thought possible. Her feet moved, voice unfaltering as she sang and danced before the waves. It was no sweet dance, nor song though. Rather it was something angry, every move a challenge, a dare, and the sea rose up in answer.

Skies darkened above her, light grey clouds darkening, winds rising from a whisper to a deafening howl. Spindrift kissed her lips, waves foaming and rising in height with the rise and fall of her voice as she sung through the notes in the soft soprano only a child could rightly achieve. The sound of footsteps was lost amidst the roar and howl as the skies and seas raged alongside her. _Music at its finest,_ or so Sakura mused as she sung, eyes narrowing into little jade green chips as a masculine voice sung back to her from over the waves. _A challenge._

One which Sakura answered, voice reaching fever pitch as she howled her rage and frustration to the wind. Heavy emotions drained from her, along with her chakra, and lightning crackled in the skies above. The air tingled, electric on the tip of her tongue, fizzling with the promise of lightning, and breathless laughter escaped her as a bolt of white cracked the world apart. Winds howled and grew heavy, but still her small voice persevered against the wilds she had stirred up.

The sight of the sea, dark and roiling, crashing heavier and heavier upon the shores just behind her, yet not knocking her back – _or perhaps that was her chakra, clinging her to the loose sandy ground beneath her?_ – had her grinning. Anger had faded, sung to the seas and skies around her, leading the way for an odd giddiness and lightness to her step as she played about in the waves, answering the voices which called out to her on the sea’s waves. Her voice rang out in harmony, playful despite the very unchildlike anger she had sung with—

“Berenloth!” Nardhion’s voice sliced through the odd trance-like stillness which had surrounded her as she sung. _The eye of the storm._ “Berenloth!” Hands grasped at her, but the wave was already crashing against her, knocking the breath from her as she was flung against the sands.

“Oww,” she grumbled, wincing, already knowing that was going to bruise.

“Berenloth!” Arms wrapped around her then, lifting her sodden form from the sea’s less than tender grasp. “What were you thinking?” Nardhion shouted, grey eyes gleaming with a mixture of fear, worry, and anger. Her stomach twisted at the sight, anger and frustration having left her by then, leaving her with nothing bar embarrassment and confusion as her brother all but collapsed upon the place where beach met greenery. On the shores below, the storm raged, winds picking up in their tempo. “Berenloth?”

Sakura blinked slowly, green meeting grey as a yawn left her. She felt spent; tired in ways she had never felt before. Dimly, part of her worried over chakra exhaustion, but that was out of the question with how much she had left. She had hardly used that much. _But,_ she supposed, _her body wasn’t quite used to channelling it as she once had._

“Sister?” Nardhion sat up, and Sakura could only blink once more at the odd dust clouds she could see on the horizon they had come from. “Are you quite alright?” her brother asked, silvery brows drawn into a frown. _Her brother – he was hers._ That fact was undeniable. _Some greedy part of her which didn’t feel like a chick in the wrong nest had claimed him for her own, along with the rest of her family there._ Sakura wasn’t quite too sure how to feel about that, what with not really being able to accept Berenloth as her name.

_But Haruno Sakura was meant to be dead, and therein lay the crux of the matter._

“Brother,” she croaked, frowning then at the sound of her voice. “’m fine,” she slurred, blinking owlishly at the sudden whinny of a horse. Peering over at the dust cloud, Sakura finally realised what was causing the flurry of sand to be kicked up. Horses. _And their armoured riders,_ she realised belatedly.

“Ah,” Nardhion hissed, grimacing as he spotted what had claimed her dwindling attention so. “Of all of the ones who could have found us, why did it have to be _him_?” he grumbled, and Sakura let her head flop against his chest. _So it was Lithuidor who had found them._ “And darling elder brother just had to bring the entirety of the rest of his patrol with him…” Nardhion scoffed, clicking his tongue as the riders grew closer. “Here I thought there was an agreement between us to keep our precious little, adorably cute sister to ourselves.” Nardhion huffed, wet arms wrapping around her that much tighter, even as the wind howled in the background.

Her thoughts were only confirmed as the black horse came to a stop only a matter of metres away, its rider dismounting. He was clad in silvery armour, and it took for him to remove that silver helmet for Sakura to realise that it was indeed her eldest brother leading the oddly bizarre group. She had never seen armour quite like that, and it was so very pretty. More so because of the odd embellishments upon her brother’s greaves and vambraces in particular. When she looked closer, she could see that there were leaves and other forestry decorating his limbs, but a design of fountains etched upon his cuirass.

It was a strange, almost foreign look on her dark-haired brother. Though the look of pure rage in his grey eyes when he stared at Nardhion was eerily familiar by that point in time. Lithuidor and Nardhion, as she had well learnt, got on like cats and dogs despite both being her loving older brothers. “What”—Lithuidor’s voice was tight, strained—“are you doing out here with Berenloth, Nardhion?” her eldest brother all but snarled.

“Come now, brother,” Nardhion drawled, and Sakura could only stare between her two brothers, darting between them like pinballs. “She needed some fresh air. I hardly need your permission for that much…”

“Yes, actually,” Lithuidor said, teeth grinding together. “You do need my permission when it comes to our little sister,” he declared, and Nardhion puffed up, cheeks reddening. “Otherwise look what happens.”

Sakura blinked blearily, barely registering what happened as she was pulled from Nardhion’s arms. “Huh?” she mumbled, sounding so terribly clever, even as a gloved hand rubbed at her cheek. Grey met green once more, and Sakura could only let her head flop against her brother’s armoured chest. _It hurt somewhat._

“What happened?” Lithuidor demanded then, turning his gaze back on his younger brother. “She is soaked to the bone and half delirious! How could you let this happen to her under your care?”

Something warm ensconced her then, and Sakura barely gathered that she had been swiftly wrapped in Lithuidor’s cloak.

“I am taking her back home right this instant!” Lithuidor exclaimed, and Sakura grunted as she felt her sense of balance shift. _She was on a horse,_ part of her dimly acknowledged, and that was about the time exhaustion overtook her.

* * *

Voices awoke her.

Consciousness returned to her in a rush, and Sakura sat up rather too abruptly, feet tangling in her sheets and promptly tripping her up as she tried to escape her bed. She fell forwards, landing on the floor with a loud clunk. Sakura groaned in pain, her entire body feeling as though it were one big bruise as she lay there, backside and legs still half-wrapped up within her blankets.

That was the first clue something was wrong – what with the fact none of her older brothers were fretting over her and bandaging her forehead to the nines. A moan escaped her, even as she slowly extricated herself from her bedding, rubbing her forehead while she climbed to her feet. “Nardhion?” she called softly, hearing his voice distantly then from further inside the house, what with her bedroom being more towards the front in the first storey of her home there. The ground floor was dedicated to the living room, dining room, and kitchen – and that was where the sounds of voices were coming from.

Hesitant, Sakura edged her way down the stairs, wincing at every light creak made, but clearly the conversation taking place in the living room drowned out the noises of her descent. The moon was high in the sky, her twin undoubtedly fast asleep. Her brother’s likely expected her to be as well. But she had fallen asleep much too early in the day to be anything less than wide awake right then, and so she ventured down to where her brothers undoubtedly lingered. Her footsteps were terribly quiet on the wooden floor without the creaky stairs to impede her there.

“—are you deluded?” Sakura frowned at the sound of Lithuidor’s voice then, sounding so very angry and confused. “You speak of the impossible.”

Sakura padded over to where the light of the living room flooded out in a little line, the darkness allowing her the pass unseen and unheeded. Curious, she peered into the familiar, large room, blinking in surprise as she caught sight of all her brothers gathered there, along with Glawil, Lithuidor’s silvery-haired wife. She was as graceful as Sakura remembered her being from the few times the older elleth had watched over her, a touch of mischief dancing in her eyes as she sat at her husband’s side, patting his back soothingly.

“Are you certain of that?” Glawil asked, and Sakura felt her gaze focus in on the only female within the room. “That child has always been a strange one…”

Sakura frowned at that. _Strange. Different_ _. A chick different from the other ones in the nest. Cuckoo._ Her hands creased in the fabric of the nightdress she had been changed into, tears coming to bite at the corners of her eyes. She just wanted to be _normal._ But normal girls didn’t throw themselves between jutsu designed to kill. Normal girls didn’t become alive once more after being dead. Her fingers curled, hands becoming fists which shook. She had once thought herself the normal one of Team Seven. Oh how wrong she had been. _Perhaps, because she had been surrounded by so much abnormality that she had merely seemed that way in comparison?_ That was probably true. Dimly, she could remember the childish taunts others had thrown her way many a times before. _Forehead. Bookworm. Loser. Freak. Foreigner._ At least two of them still applied there in that strange, confusing place, and those words, insults, cut at her heart and made it bleed. A wound which wouldn’t heal, and Sakura, with all her old knowledge in those arts, didn’t know how to help it close.

“There is nobody around to have taught our sister how to _sing_ in that manner… to use her voice to shape that which she wishes to her will, if she has the strength,” Reniedir murmured, lips pulled into a frown, expression pensive as he sat upon the windowsill, peering out into the night, face cast in moonlight which only served to make his silvery locks glow, backlit whenever he turned to look at the other occupants of the room. “She is not even yet in double digits!”

“And that is why this is so terrifying!” Nardhion yelled then, not loud enough to carry upstairs, but loud enough to quiet the room. “I know that which I saw… and that storm—”

“Was nothing but a mere whim of the weather. Call it Ossë’s work and be done with it!” Lithuidor hissed back, venom in his voice.

“You were not there,” Nardhion snarled, chair creaking as he threw himself to his feet, glaring down at their eldest brother. For once he was taller, if only because their eldest brother was seated down. Grey met grey, clashing like gemstones gleaming in the moonlight. _And they were shouting at each other all because of her, and how very strange she was._ Sakura felt her shoulders slump. _Freak. Foreigner._ It was apt how much those taunts still applied. “You did not see her eyes glow, and the sea greet her as a friend. I know that which I saw, and burying your head in the sand will not change the facts of this matter, _dear brother_.”

Sakura blinked, a shiver running down her spine, the silence she held feeling so terribly thick as she eavesdropped on that which she wasn’t meant to hear. _She was always different from that which she was meant to be._ “Are you certain you are not merely trying to cover the fact that you let our precious little sister catch a chill in the sea?” Lithuidor asked, grey eyes narrowed and hard. “Both I and Reniedir just spent the last few hours tending to her – clearing up the consequences of _your_ mistake.”

Nardhion ground his teeth together. “You are the one who demanded for her to be all but locked away within these walls which surround us now,” he said, folding his arms across his chest. “Is it so wrong to grant her but a bit of freedom which she sorely needs without several brothers dogging her footsteps?” Nardhion tilted his head, silvery hair swishing with the movement, loose strands framing his face. “Or do you wish for the twins to forever be cast in our shadows, never to grow nor prosper as they should?”

“They are _safe_ inside this house, and that is how they will remain – more so after this stunt both you and Berenloth pulled.” Lithuidor stood then, towering over their shortest brother, heedless of the way Nardhion’s hands curled into fists. “So help me, I shall bar you from seeing them for a year, if that is what it takes for you to get your priorities sorted—”

“No!” Nardhion snarled, the sound so guttural and wild. “They are my little siblings too – Berenloth is my little sister. Just because you are the eldest does not make it so you can decide everything,” he snapped, teeth bared.

“You let her—”

“She is _not_ Glasdil!”

Sakura startled at the sudden silence which descended upon the living room at that moment, heart thudding in her chest. Her brothers were arguing, hatred and tensions only rising. _And it was all her fault._ Her stomach curled at the thought and realisation.

_“Did you know that cuckoo birds lay their eggs in other birds’ nests?”_ the voice of an old memory came to haunt her then. _“The mother of that nest tries to take care of it as its own, working herself to the bone and ends up perishing because of that.”_

If she wasn’t there in that home, her brothers wouldn’t have been fighting – wouldn’t have been destroying themselves to try and take care of her.

Sorrow clawing in her throat, Sakura peered back into the room of those who she really didn’t deserve, heart thudding almost audibly at the ashen look set upon Lithuidor’s face. And then the silence which had fallen was broken, and the living room burst into motion. The sound of skin meeting skin in a slap rang through the air.

“You go too far,” Glawil spat, tears gleaming in her grey eyes.

The door slammed open, banging into her with enough force to send her sprawling back on the ground. A yelp of pain escaped her, and Sakura could only blink through her tears at the figure of her eldest brother as he stood before her. The sorrow and pain on his face froze for a few moments, eyes blinking owlishly as he took in her tiny form there, before sorrow became concern, and pain became worry. “Berenloth?” Lithuidor murmured, voice a far cry away from the tone it had held only moments before. “What are you doing out of bed?”

Sakura pushed herself to her feet then, only just realising how childish the instincts she had then were as tears leaked down her cheeks. “My fault.” The truth escaped her before she could help it, loathing, loneliness, and sorrow crushing in on her, weighing her heart down. “It is my fault you argue,” she murmured, a heavy weight settling in her stomach then. If she had been a normal elf-child none of that would’ve happened.

But she wasn’t normal. She was a freak, an aberration of nature, and something which undoubtedly didn’t belong there.

Lithuidor reached out for her then, and Sakura could only flinch and shy away from the hands which came towards her. “Berenloth?” his voice was soft, so very soft and gentle, and Sakura could only sob as she finally stared at her brother, with his dark hair and silvery grey eyes. She only had to glance over his shoulder to spy Reniedir, with his silver locks and matching eyes.

It was funny how she hadn’t really noticed it before. Not in that way.

She was pink-haired, and green-eyed. She didn’t look a thing like her siblings, and the little voice in the back of her mind sung. _Freak. Aberration. Forehead. Unnatural._ Her feet moved back, sliding slowly over the wood flooring. _They’d be better off without you._

A smile pulled at her lips, soft and miserable, and tears bit at her eyes for some reason she couldn’t fathom. _Because she loved them all, in a way she couldn’t describe._ Sakura supposed she had six odd years of being raised by them to count for that. But the truth was set before her then, crystal clear in her mind as the thoughts of the day came back to bite with vengeance. “You would be better off without me,” she said then, nodding at the words escaping her mouth. “I only bring arguments, annoyance, and nothing but trouble…”

“Berenloth?” Lithuidor echoed, sounding like a broken record by that point. “No…”

She wasn’t Berenloth. She didn’t know how to be. She was Haruno Sakura, the cuckoo in the nest. She was something which should have stayed dead. She was nothing but trouble – a kind Lithuidor and the rest of them didn’t need to deal with. She wasn’t some sweet innocent little elfling. _No matter how much she wished she could be._

Sakura turned on her heel and ran.


	4. The Forest

Grass, soft and cold, cushioned her footfalls as she ran and ran – deep into the depths of the forest which bordered the house there. _Berenloth’s home_. The trees there welcomed her so, not quite in the same way the sea greeted her so eagerly, since it was only _before_ when she had truly been a child of the forest. Leaf-kin. Sakura wasn’t quite so sure what she was, aside from the odd one out in her family. The family she seemed to be tearing apart only by existing.

Sakura ran on, lungs aching as she sucked in lungful after lungful of crisp, cold, night air. Thorns and brambles pricked at her feet, each step she took becoming more agonising by the second as she ran and ran. She couldn’t stop, least of all because otherwise she would be caught and taken back to that place – the place where there were only supposed to be dark-haired, red-haired, or silver-haired elf children and adults with eyes which mirrored the colouring of the beautiful stars in the heavens above. There was no place for a pink-haired, green-eyed chick, such as she was. Wind whistled in her ears then, but it only brought shouts upon it.

“Berenloth!” Lithuidor’s panicked shout reached her then, and Sakura only winced as she ploughed on through the little forest.

Somewhere to her left, she could hear the sea crashing upon the shore, her injured feet leading her more towards that side of the forest tentatively. She was undoubtedly a child of the sea rather than one of the forest that time around. _She should have died as a child of the forest._ Her breath came in ragged gasps, panic rising up within her the more she ran into the darkness. _She should have stayed dead._ Dead things weren’t supposed to come back to life.

Torchlight could be seen behind her in the distance somewhat, murmurs of voices reaching her as he brothers came out in full force. Sakura wondered whether Glawil searched for her too, before she remembered her twin still slept on peacefully in the house and someone would undoubtedly have to stay to watch over him. _And her brothers were far more overprotective of her than Glawil was._ That was partially why she liked the older elleth. Particularly when her brothers were being their usual suffocating selves.

But they should’ve had a little baby girl elf-child to look after and smother in affection. They got her instead, a thing which should have been dead – and stayed dead. Anger and sorrow burnt within her, and Sakura ploughed on despite the pain. She was a shinobi. She’d had worse. _But was she really a shinobi still?_ In that place where no shinobi seemed to exist?

Footsteps sounded some ways behind her, sharp ears barely catching sound of the little noises. Truly, elves in general were far too light and fleet-footed. She was still a child in body. _Imposter._ Her legs were shorter – not to mention she was injured and still somewhat exhausted from her earlier singing. _Damn their fully rested, full-sized adult bodies._

Water sounded, and Sakura had but a moment to register the rocks and the little stream which gurgled over them towards the sea. She leapt over it, so very limber in that tiny body, despite its lacking speed and power. A whimper of pain escaped her then as she landed on the other little stony section bank, small rocks skittering into the stream with loud sploshes thanks to the little dip which ensconced the tiny stream so. Still, she ran, panic beating in her chest like a steel drum at the shouts behind her. She was making far too much noise, moving far too unstealthily – being far too unlike the shinobi she was meant to be.

Tears leaked down her cheek, thick and hot, and not merely from the worsening pain centred mainly in her bloodied and bruised little feet which had brought tears only to the corners of her eyes before those thoughts had consumed her. _Just who was she meant to be?_ Her shoulders shook, but still she ran. As if she could get away from it all like that – if she kept on moving despite the disadvantages she had over her pursuers. She was meant to know how to turn a situation around to survive. _Haruno Sakura always had._ Sakura ignored the part of herself which whispered ‘ _Haruno Sakura is dead’._

Soft grass and damp earth became patchier, cold rock and hard stone replacing them in places, and Sakura only bit her lip and ran on, if only to get over the rockier area which had sparser trees. A consequence for venturing too close to the shores she so loved. The shores which called to her, for her anger, sorrow, hatred, and love. It was such a confusing bundle of emotions to feel at one time, and it tore her in far too many different directions. Another whimper escaped her, thorns and small stones driven into her foot that much further, every footstep a struggle. The ground was uneven too, and hardly a good surface to run over, even if she had thought to grab shoes before running headlong off into the forest to escape the clutches of the nest she had been slipped into. _She didn’t know how to be Berenloth._ Sakura wasn’t even sure if she _wanted_ to be Berenloth, no matter how nice the brothers were.

Guilt clutched at her then, even as yet another shout rang out behind her. “Berenloth!” Reniedir yelled, hands undoubtedly cupped around his mouth to make his soft, panicked voice heard. He had always been one of the more gentler of the brothers. The same brothers she hurt by staying with them day after day. _Cuckoo._ “Berenloth! Where are you?” he demanded, fear and worry lining his tone. “Come out!”

A sob escaped her then, and Sakura charged across the rocky grounds, a cry escaping her when she tripped over clumsy, injured feet and dashed her left knee against sharp rocks. _It was stupid to be running away – she would only be dragged back, she knew._ Tears ran down her cheeks, knee throbbing far worse than either of her feet or the rest of her bruised body as she limped into the nearest large section of underbrush. _But she didn’t know how to play the part of the sweet innocent little sister, and she felt terrible for even trying to pretend to be one._ Something warm, wet, and sticky rolled down her leg, and Sakura only curled up as best she could in the shadows of the leafy bushes hiding her.

She prayed it would be enough to conceal her so. Sakura wasn’t too sure _what_ she was about to be doing afterwards – after her brothers had stopped searching. A snort left her lips before she could help it. _As if her brothers would ever stop searching for what they believed to be their precious little sister._ Rather she was doomed to be hunted down by the worst creatures imaginable: ridiculously overprotective brothers. Had she been normal, she would have been fine with that. She would have been happy with very worried brothers who fretted over her constantly. But Sakura wasn’t normal. _She was a freak, and this time she was a freak of nature._ Something which wasn’t meant to be there. Sakura only wished that wasn’t the case – that she could enjoy the life and luxuries of that strange place.

The moon was high in the sky by then, the stars twinkling merrily above, still as beautiful as ever. Sakura didn’t quite feel as though she was worthy of staying in that beautiful place which seemed to be filled to the brim with an innocence of sorts. An innocence which she didn’t have. Her tiny little hands were stained red already, even though she hadn’t spilt another’s blood as she once had in a world so different to that one she had been displaced to.

“Berenloth!” the shout rang out far too close, yet another of her brothers on the hunt for her as she hid away so desperately, and Sakura only curled up in the undergrowth which mostly shielded her from view with the barest of whimpers as more sticky blood leaked from the gash on her knee. Her feet hurt too much to even move by then, each motion making her all too aware of the stones and thorns biting at the soft skin of her bare feet. She wished, by then, that she had remembered to put on her boots before hurrying out. _But then Lithuidor would have caught her before she could escape into the forest, and Sakura didn’t want that._ She didn’t know how to keep being Berenloth. She didn’t want to keep wearing the mask of an imposter and pretending to be the sweet little single-digit elf-child they were meant to have in place of her.

“Berenloth! Where did you go?” Lithuidor’s voice rang out then, distinct in its tone, volume, and power. Truly, her brother was meant to lead troops. She could tell that much from just his voice. _So why did he sound so very concerned over a little runaway cuckoo?_ Part of her wanted to curl up and vanish, another part wishing to just tell them all the truth – wanting for them to look away from her in disgust for tricking them with the childish form with which she had entered that world in – while yet another part wanted to hold her silence and figure something out.

She didn’t want to die.

That was the crux of the matter, and staying out in the forest, bleeding, tiny, and vulnerable probably did nothing to aid in that wish. But she couldn’t go back to that place – that _home_ where she felt like nothing more than a terrible imitation of a child. A sob escaped her then, hairs on the back of her neck standing up on end as the bushes rustled then. _It was just the wind._ Her hands shook, mind racing over the various forms of life which would be found in a forest. _And what of them could eat her._ Her hands shook, every part of her acutely aware she was in no state to fend off any sort of enemy at that moment in time.

Shame burnt through her at that thought. _She was meant to be a medic, a war hero, a veteran shinobi who had lived through a war and come out relatively unscathed._ Her heart thudded in her chest, rhythm like the beats of a hummingbird’s wings. _But Haruno Sakura was dead._ She had _died_ the moment Sasuke and Naruto’s hands had ripped through either side of her chest. A sniffle escaped her at the thought, and she covered her face with her hands. Embarrassment ripped through her as she felt the snot and tears which had escaped her tiny nose and eyes respectively. Proving that her body was nothing more than a baby’s, if the size didn’t already give that away.

Her mind was meant to be that of an adult’s… but she had died before even reaching her twenties. _Elves, such as the race of the body she was stuck in, would’ve still been considered children at that age._ Her body wouldn’t even have been fully grown had she been an elf when her name was Haruno Sakura, going by what her brother, Nardhion, had told her what felt like aeons ago. _Even with her mentally tally of years added to the age of her elven body didn’t bring her to the threshold of even the stage of her being fully grown in body._ Her fingers clawed at the soft, chubby skin on her face, and Sakura supressed the groan she wanted to let loose. Everything was far too confusing for her to process. Her thought stream was a mess of tangled thread, and Sakura wasn’t sure of how she was meant to start untangling it all.

The bushes rustled again, and Sakura shivered all the more violently. Something was coming, and she wasn’t sure she would like that which was. It was scary, being out there, all alone in that forest, where the world seemed that much larger thanks to her diminished size. She was too small, too squishy, and far too breakable.

Swallowing back both her fear and hesitance, she risked a peek out from the bushes. “Berenloth!” Sakura flinched, but the voice came from beyond her, indicating her brothers were far too far away to help. They had passed her in their search, torchlight far out of her view. Moonlight was her only source of light, piercing through the undergrowth and tree leaves as it was. Not that there was much of the latter to one side of her. Green eyes narrowed, her breath coming in sharp pants by that point, fear rising like the water boiling over the stove as she glanced out. Her ears were straining to hear any form of noise, and they caught sound of something then – a muffled crunch of movement over the rocky ground.

Sakura wondered whether, if she screamed, her brothers would make it in time to save her as the shadow slinked from the treeline, low to the ground, attention fixed on the rocky land between her and it. Grey eyes glinted as the creature looked up—and Sakura abruptly recognised the scary being for what it was.

Her brother.

Eithion.

She reared back then, wincing as the bushes rustled with the motion, and she froze then, heartbeat echoing in her ears as she watched her brother and whatever it was he was doing. He was staring at the ground, a soft curse escaping her quietest brother as he lifted his finger from whatever he had stuck it in. Sharp elven eyes told her it was something dark and sticky—

Her hands shook then, and she stared at her brother who was apparently the one closest in age to the both of them. _He was a tracker._ She was only realising just now how little she truly knew of her brothers and their occupations. Eithion was undoubtedly a tracker of some description. Sakura was only grateful he wasn’t one of the silvery-haired ones, having sleek black hair instead fortunately enough, and also terribly thankful that he didn’t seem to have any dogs to help him with his tracking either. Otherwise that would bring back memories she was trying so desperately to put behind her. _Haruno Sakura was dead._ She ought to have stayed that way, but thinking that hardly changed a thing. She was there now, and Sakura wasn’t quite sure of how she was meant to make the best of it – if that was, indeed, something she could do in the first place.

Grey eyes followed the trail of her bloody footprints over the rocky, hard ground, and Sakura could only huddle and hunker down in the bushes, praying somehow her brother would mysteriously vanish before pulling aside the bushes and revealing her battered little form to the world. Tears bit in her eyes, part of her wanting to curse things and throw hands with her older brother. Luck wasn’t kind to her though, and Eithion’s booted foot came to a pause only a matter of inches from where her head lay, watery eyes peering out. A flinch escaped her as the bushes were pulled apart, moonlight lighting the once-shade which had hidden her away so, and Sakura whimpered and tried her very best to shuffle away, green eyes locked on those grey ones all the while. A hand reached for her then, and Sakura rolled a little further into the bushes as quickly as she could, wincing as brambles, sticks, and stones sliced into her side with the sharpness of her movement. She didn’t want to be dragged from the perceived safety of those branches and leaves. Her own hands came up to hide her face, fingers cracking open to let her catch a glimpse of Eithion, sharp eyes watching as he suddenly withdrew his hands, branches and leaves sliding back in place to cover her. Shadows moved, and she could only watch as her brother sat down all of a sudden.

“Berenloth,” Eithion’s voice was soft, and Sakura stopped trying to roll away then. “Will you not come out?” he asked, voice still so terribly soft. It wasn’t the way one would talk to a wild animal, nor was it a babying tone. It was just soft and gentle. _Soothing,_ Sakura mused. That was the word for it.

Her hands shook, pulling away from her face, what with the leaves acting as a shield and barrier between them both. Fingers dug into the ground, and Sakura rolled away from the deeper brush, back towards the warmth which Eithion radiated simply by sitting there, keeping wary eyes on her brother’s knees – that being all she could really see at that point in time, from the elevation on which she lay. “Why?” The sound escaped her before she could really think it though.

She could _hear_ the smile in his voice. “Because I very much wish to bring you home – where you can have those injuries of yours tended to,” he replied, not making even a motion to reach in and wrench her from the bushes as Reniedir, Lithuidor, or literally any of her other brothers would have done. “I must admit, I do not like the thought of you bleeding within these woods,” he said, voice still so gentle and soft, lacking the panic and worry which Lithuidor’s had carried when he had called out her name then and there in those woods. “So, will you not come out, Berenloth?”

“I…” she trailed off, words escaping her as she pondered over what she was meant to say. “Why do you call me that?” she asked, mouth moving without much thought aside from the warning ringing amidst her mind to not mention a word as to her rebirth. _It wasn’t normal, and Sakura wanted to be more normal._ At least in her brothers’ eyes.

_Pretender. Fake._

Sakura bit her lip, not enough to ensure more blood leaked from her body, but plenty hard enough to feel pain. She wanted focus. She didn’t want to say anything stupid. _She wanted to figure out how to be Berenloth, if only to better fit in with that place. She wanted to feel as though she actually belonged in that home before she was dragged back to its embraces._ Her shoulders shook, a traitorous sniffle escaping her then as she huddled in the bushes, feeling so much more _safe_ now that her brother was there. It was so very child-like. Sakura ignored the part of that whispered that was essentially what she was.

She wasn’t human, after all. Not anymore. But Sakura wasn’t sure of how to be an elf. She wasn’t sure how to be human either – humans didn’t die and come back to life in the body of a pink-haired elf child. _What was she even meant to be? A cuckoo? A parasite? A mistake?_ Sakura didn’t know. She thought she wanted to find out though.

“Why do I call you what?” Eithion asked. “Your name?”

Sakura nodded viciously in the bushes—before abruptly remembering Eithion couldn’t see such a motion, even as the cries of her other brothers searching for her rang out further away. She wondered why Eithion didn’t call them all over – didn’t wrestle her from the bushes and drag her back to the nest she had mistakenly been placed in. _Or maybe deliberately for some nefarious purpose._ Cuckoos were never good, just like shinobi were never truly good. Sakura might as well have been both. “Yes,” she said, body trembling. Part of her only waited for her brother to ask _who_ had given her these strange ideas which made her seem so very strange and abnormal. Sakura wished she could be normal. “Why do you call me Berenloth?”

“That is your name, is it not?” her brother spoke, and something twisted in her gut at those words. _It would have been her name proper if she hadn’t been Haruno Sakura before. If she wasn’t clinging to the name Sakura for…_ Sakura blinked, wondering _why_ she was clinging to such a name. _Because she was clinging to her past, obviously._ Sakura didn’t know how to let it go. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to – because her past had made her who she was. _And if she let go of that…_

Silence fell then, disturbed only by the soft rustling of leaves in the breeze which drifted through the forest, carrying on it the familiar tang of salt. “And what if it is not?” she asked then, hand trembling as she reached out, pulling the main thin branch concealing her brother from view out of the way.

Eithion looked over at the movement and sound, a smile pulling at his lips as their eyes met. “Father called me Nandaer, Mother named me Eithion, and my beloved wife named me Dimaethorchon when we first met, if only because I am so very quiet for most of the time,” he said, and Sakura blinked, her brow furrowed as she stared at _Eithion_ – her brother who apparently had many names. Sakura wondered if it were in place of a family name, which elves didn’t seem to have from the limited information gathering she had managed to complete. Eithion laughed – a sound she had rarely heard before. _She liked the sound. It was sweet._ “I could have taken another name for others to know me by when I came of age, but I did not…” he continued, as if he cared not for the frantic shouts further in the wood. _But maybe it was because he knew the rest of her brothers would yank her loose from the bushes she so desperately hid herself within, caring mostly for her physical health as they threw her over a shoulder and marched her back ‘home’._ If he did… Sakura bit down on her lip yet again, staring at her brother so intently. His hand reached out then, but Sakura knew it wasn’t to pull her from that which she hid within. Fingers brushed over her cheeks, rougher compared to Nardhion’s delicate, fine fingers, but warm and gentle nonetheless. “You do not have to have but one name, dearest sister. If there is another name you wish for me to call you by, then I would very much love to hear it,” he declared, and Sakura felt that terribly warm mushy feeling in her chest.

Her mouth opened, ready to demand for him to call her _Sakura._ Her lips clicked shut but a second later, fear driving her to do so along with logic. _Because Sakura wasn’t a native name to that world, and it would sound so terribly odd coming from her brother’s mouth._ Berenloth came to her tongue so much easier than _Sakura_ did. “I…” she trailed off, even as those slightly rougher fingers tucked her messy, bramble-infested hair back behind her pointed ear. _Proof she was no longer human._ “I… I do not have any other name than Berenloth,” she said then. _She had no other name which didn’t belong in part to something foreign – something meant to be dead and buried_. “But I do not know how to be Berenloth…”

Eithion’s brow crinkled, grey eyes staring at her so intently Sakura feared he had seen right through her _unnaturalness_ to the very truth of the matter. _Dead were meant to stay dead._ “By the time mother named me, the name Eithion may very well have defined me,” he murmured, brow still drawn in confusion. “Names, in some way, tie us to this place, and I do not think you need to worry about how to become Berenloth – for in my eyes, you already are Berenloth, my precious little sister.”

Sakura swallowed then, her throat terribly dry all of a sudden. “But… But I am so very strange. _Weird._ Even Glawil admits it so!” she cried, careful not to let her voice carry too far. She hardly wanted to bring the rest of her brothers down on her head right then and there. Eithion, oddly enough, was already helping her to untangle the messy strings of thought which had become so very muddled within that head of hers. “I just want… I just wish I could be more normal – like Maethon. He is not strange…”

Laughter rang out again, and Sakura glared up at her brother – because it was a serious issue there and then. Normalcy had become such a heavy prize. One she found so very hard to figure out. Eithion laughing at her hardly helped. “Peace, little sister,” he murmured, fingers threading through her pink locks, stroking at her head then soothingly. Sakura found it hard to deny she liked such a sensation. “I mean no offence. Merely, in my eyes, that oddness is what makes you, undeniably, Berenloth. Should you act exactly like Maethon, then why would you be called different to he? You are not a copy, nor are you meant to be a mirror image of someone else,” he said, his words like a balm to her confused and battered soul. “My brothers and, indeed, our parents once thought _me_ odd and strange because I did not talk as much as our other troublesome, loud brothers,” he continued, brushing away the tears which fell from her eyes then. “’tis what makes me Eithion, as well as the aptly named Dimaethorchon, bless Dagnis and her naming.”

Sakura blinked at the sheer fondness in his words as he spoke of both his wife and her. _Sasuke had never sounded as fond,_ part of her whispered traitorously, reminding her of that life before which made her seem so very strange there. Sakura quashed those kinds of thoughts then, repressing them to the very corners of her mind. She didn’t want to get caught up in her past. After all, there was a whole new, strange future set before her.

“What I am trying to say, dear Berenloth, is that you do not need to _try and be_ Berenloth – for that is who you are. Now and forever, should you wish it to be so.”

A sniffle escaped her, heat rising in her cheeks as those grey eyes continued to stare at her so very warmly. _She was Berenloth. Sakura was what made her Berenloth. She could be both. She could be Berenloth and keep the name Sakura so very close to her chest._ The thought – the realisation – made her feel so terribly light, as if a weight had been lifted from her chest. But it hadn’t been the only weight weighing her down. “Am I truly your sister?” The words escaped her before she could even filter them.

Eithion sucked in a sharp breath then, and Sakura only flinched, but his hand kept smoothing her hair down, helping her relax even as she lay amidst the stones and brambles. “Of course,” he said plainly. “Why would you not be?”

“I…” Sakura swallowed thickly. “I have pink hair… no one in our family has such a colouring – not mother or father. I have seen their portraits.”

Eithion huffed, the sound gentle rather than angry. “Silly sister,” he murmured, the sound impossibly fond. “Leithedir has red hair, when neither of our parents had such colouring. Pink is not too far of a stretch, when our grandparents have red hair and our mother has silver hair.” Grey eyes bore into her green ones earnestly. “Yes, it is rather unique, but it is beautiful nonetheless. Rather, the unique colouring only makes you more beautiful, and me and the rest of my dear older brothers all fear what will happen when you grow and become that much more alluring.”

Sakura felt her nose wrinkle at the implications of that statement. “And my green eyes?” she asked, not forgetting how only blue and grey were the colourings belonging to her parents, and her brothers had only grey eyes between the lot of them. “Where did they come from then?” she questioned, hating the pleading tone to her voice as she asked. _She wanted to belong in that strange, beautiful world which she had yet to fully explore._

“Berenloth,” Eithion spoke, shifting then so he better faced her. “Why is it you are questioning your appearance so? You are very beautiful, whether your eyes be grey or green, and any who say otherwise… Let us just say they will become very intimately acquainted with my blade.”

A giggle escaped her at the thought. “But that does not answer my question,” she murmured, heart clenching at the thought that there wasn’t an answer other than her being foreign, strange, and very weird.

Eithion sighed. “A stubborn one, are you not?” he said, a smile pulling at his lips. “Just like mother. Though to answer your question, little sister, baby elf children, such as yourself, sometimes have a different eye colouring. Oftentimes it darkens, or otherwise adjusts to become more similar to their parents’ colouring, as I feel your might,” Eithion said softly. “If you are worried, there is naught you can do but wait and see. Though your eye colour does not matter to me, nor the rest of us, Berenloth.”

Sakura could only blink dumbly for what felt like the thousandth time that night, brain feeling oddly numb as she tried to process all which she had learnt just then. “Are you sure I am mother and father’s child?” she asked, part of her not quite believing all that she had heard. “They could have mixed me up… which would more explain why I seem so odd and out of place…”

Her older brother sighed yet again. “Sceptical, are you not?” he mumbled, another huff escaping him then, even as the rhythmic smoothing down of her hair continued. “Well, then, Berenloth, I can safely say there can be no doubt of your relationship to us,” he continued, heedless of the way scepticism pulled at her expression. “I can say this for the news of your birthing reached my ears first, after our father’s sharp ones. I arrived soon after father – while you were busy surprising the healers with your existence. They did not realise mother was having twins…” His fingers twisted in her pink locks, grey eyes distant, a warm smile on his lips as he recalled the memory. “You were very small you see, while Maethon was just a tad on the chubby side,” Eithion explained mirthfully, his voice sounding so very soothing as exhaustion clawed at her – what with her injuries and her sprint through the forest. _She was but a tiny child, barely more than a toddler, truly._ “Mother was far too exhausted to hold either of you, and father’s arms were already full with Maethon dearest… and so the healers gave you to me while they hurried to tend to mother… but alas…” he murmured, expression shuttering ever so slightly, undoubtedly recalling their mother’s death. _Fading,_ as they had so termed it when they thought Sakura couldn’t hear. “So, little sister, I can say without a doubt, that you are a member of this family. One, which I think, would like to see you safely back home, with your injuries tended to, and likely tucked beneath many blankets… but only if you wish it so.”

She stared up at him then, swallowing at the pleading glint to his gaze. “The last part only applies until the others find us, does it not?” she asked.

Eithion laughed. “I am afraid to say that is very true, little sister,” he said. “Lithuidor… Reniedir… Narhion… and even Leithedir, no matter how carefree he may seem at times, all only wish the best for you. Though for them, certainly, your physical health takes priority, and… let us just say that lying on the forest floor while bleeding from your feet is not the epitome of health.”

Sakura looked away then, stomach twisting at the thought of facing the rest of her brothers. _But she didn’t have a reason to delay her return, what with all the food for thought Eithion had given her._ “Fine,” she mumbled, swallowing nervously. Her feet and her knee were really starting to hurt, and the pain was only growing more noticeable by the minute. Delaying her return _home_ wouldn’t help with that. “You can take me home, I guess,” she grumbled, crawling forwards as best she could with her elbows.

Hands reached for her then. She didn’t flinch. Rather, she let them lift her from the cold ground and into the warmth of her brother’s arms and chest. Her hands automatically found themselves fisting in the material of his shirt, and Sakura let her head flop back then, sighing softly as she was supported comfortably. “I should let our brothers know you have been found,” Eithion said, and Sakura grumbled under her breath – even though she had known such a thing was undoubtedly coming.

It would, after all, be rather cruel to leave her brothers searching the forest for the entire night.


	5. The Home

Lithuidor and Leithedir were the first to find them, and Sakura could only blink, nonplussed at the way she was swiftly snatched from Eithion’s comfortable arms. “Berenloth,” Lithuidor murmured, grey eyes burning with an intensity which made her shiver as he examined her from head to toe, a frown pulling at his lips when he spied the cut on her knee and the state of her feet. Sakura hadn’t even wanted to look at them – knowing they would be in a terrible state. She could barely muster the urge to laugh. _To think there would be a day when an ex-med-nin would be scared of the sight of her own injuries._ Her head flopped against Lithuidor’s chest with a heavy sigh. “Leithedir, fetch Duinenor,” he hissed, jostling her ever so slightly as he adjusted his grip to better hold her with a single well-muscled arm. “These are no injuries which will be fine to let heal on their own…”

Sakura squirmed ever so slightly then, guilt bubbling in her gut at the sheer worry she could detect in her eldest brother’s voice. She had worried him, and probably the rest of her family too. _She always did_. “I…” she trailed off in a squeak as all eyes landed on her at the small noise she had made. Embarrassment stained her cheeks now that all had been resolved thanks to Eithion and his kind words which had made her _see_ that which she had been struggling to find on her lonesome. “I am sorry,” she mumbled, not daring to look her brothers in the eyes as the shame and sheer childishness of her actions decided to haunt her right then and there.

The chest she rested again vibrated with a huff then. “It is not you who should apologise,” Lithuidor said, sighing then, and a familiar, calloused finger came to brush at her cheek, beneath her eye where tears bit at. “I believe it is Nardhion and I who need to do as such. Do you think you can forgive us? For making you feel as though you ought to not be a part of our family…”

She nodded jerkily then. _For if she had been some normal elf-child, she would never have run away as she just had tried to – she would never have thought herself an outside, so it was hardly their fault entirely._ “I love you, brother,” she said then, lifting herself as best as she could with only her arms, planting a soft, innocent kiss on Lithuidor’s cheek before she could lose her nerve. She always struggled with giving affection more so than receiving it. _For she could hardly prevent her brothers or their wives for showing affection in such a different way than she was used to._ Displays of affection in Konoha had been far more conservative, even behind closed doors. That wasn’t the case in her new world. _Or maybe it was just her brothers?_

“Ai!” A cry from the bushes made her turn sharply, eyes locking on the small, lithe figure of her shortest brother. “Why is it Lithuidor must get all the love?” he asked, smiling softly, eyes tinged with sorrow. “Do you think you can forgive me too, dearest sister? We should not have made that argument about you, nor should we have made you feel akin to an outsider,” he said, expression solemn as he came ever closer to Lithuidor – something Sakura was well aware he didn’t generally do.

“Yes,” she said then, because there was nothing else she _could_ say. “I forgive you,” she continued, squirming ever so slightly as Nardhion leant close, making it clear what he wanted from her. Chewing on her lip, embarrassment flushing her cheeks as she lifted herself as best as she could, Lithuidor reluctantly helping her there as she leant over to press her lips to her brother’s cheek.

Nardhion beamed with the force of a thousand suns. “Thank you, dearest sister,” he said, chancing a glance at Lithuidor, smile dropping in an instant. “Will you let me carry her back? Or am I too incompetent in your eyes?”

Lithuidor scowled. “She is injured, Nardhion,” he hissed. “Passing her over to you will jostle her more than necessary – so _no_ you cannot.” Sakura could only sigh at her shortest brother’s expression as she was snuggled in Lithuidor’s arms. “Unless you wish to run the risk of harming our little sister even further, that is.” Her eldest brother, of course, knew Nardhion’s thought process was aligned with his own when it came to her own protection.

Sakura yawned, sleepiness catching up with her then – not that she could relax as such, what with the burning pain blossoming in her feet. “’top fightin’,” she slurred then, yawning once more as she shifted in the arms which held her. Light was growing closer and closer, the three of them having been walking along while carrying her and continuing their ongoing brotherly spat which had apparently been going on for years before she had been born. Eithion was blissfully silent throughout all of it, but always smiling so cheerily at her when she glanced in his direction. Sakura supposed they might as well have bonded over her weird, and frankly confusing questions and his calm and infinitely patient answers. Though she thought he might have looked just a bit smug, like they had a secret shared between them, the look becoming more prominent when Lithuidor and Nardhion fidgeted awkwardly at her words. Sakura didn’t think she could really blame him, even as they drew closer to what was and would be her _home._

From the outside, her house looked odd – different compared to how those in the Elemental Nations had generally been built. The walls were thick, brickwork and plaster on the outside as well as the inside, rather than the panelling she was more accustomed to in places. There was a porch made of stone steps, wooden railings, and flagstone, on which was situated an arbour bench stained the same colouring as the railings along with a matching set of table and chairs. Eggshell blue cushions were situated on two of the seats, though only one was in use.

It was on that porch that Glawil and Reniedir both waited, only one set of grey eyes narrowing in on their little group of four. “Reniedir,” Glawil called, her voice soft yet tinged with relief as they came into sight of the light which was mostly due to the two candles on sconces in the porch area and the natural light of the moon above. _And that really bright star which Reniedir claimed to be an ellon with a glowing rock strapped to his brow…_ Sakura wasn’t quite too sure whether she believed him on that front, but it certainly made for an interesting tale. If only one not meant to be told before bedtime, because it was a tale of the Elder Days when dragons the sizes of small mountains roamed, and elven blood was shed – and sometimes not by creatures of the enemy.

Nobody liked to talk about kin-slayings. Not even her brothers, though they had told them the barest of information in as child-friendly form as they could manage, if only to prevent awkward questions from arising when they were eventually to be allowed out to explore Forlond. _Admittedly while glued to a family member’s side._ The tentative promise was there though, ready for when she turned ten. Until that point, it was the family home, her brothers, their wives, and the forest and shores.

Though Sakura rather hoped that promise made so very recently wouldn’t be affected by her, in hindsight, rather _stupid_ actions. The actions of a _child_ which she was having trouble still trying to think of herself as.

“Berenloth,” Reniedir whispered, relief seeping into his expression as he caught sight of her then and there. His hands went to his head, and he breathed out a shaky breath of relief, hands running through those silvery locks of his. “What were you thinking?” he hissed, coming to hover as Lithuidor carried her inside.

“Let us save the scolding until she is rested up and on the mend,” Eithion said, cutting their older brother off before he could get another word out.

“We ought to wash her feet – get as much of the debris and dirt washed away from the wounds,” Lithuidor said. “Duinenor will give us all an earful if he arrives and we have not even started a rudimentary treatment.”

“Duinenor is on his way?” Reniedir asked, tilting his head and blinking owlishly at their eldest brother.

“I sent Leithedir to fetch him,” Lithuidor replied, carrying her into the larger bathroom upstairs. Dimly, Sakura hoped they didn’t wake Maethon up. “He is the closest who will be available at such a time as this, no matter how he grumbles. He will hardly refuse to treat anyone, much less a child,” he continued, busying himself with turning on the tap. “Reniedir, hold onto Berenloth,” he ordered in what Sakura was dubbing his ‘commander’ voice. _Or was it a ‘captain’ voice?_ She wasn’t certain of what sort of position her brother held – something she had made a note of to change in the coming months and years.

Nardhion cleared his throat, Eithion raising his eyebrows as he hovered behind the rest of them in the doorway. “Why,” her shortest brother grumbled, “am I being completely ignored?”

Eithion chuckled, clapping a hand on his shoulder in an odd display of support. Sakura only snorted tiredly, peering over her shoulder as best she could at the pair of them – at least until she spied a shorter figure coming into view. “Maethon,” Eithion said, turning Nardhion’s attention onto her twin while Reniedir and Lithuidor worked on the horrors which were her feet. “What are you doing out of bed at such an hour?”

Nardhion scoffed. “Well, Lithuidor did just barrel past his room with enough noise as to wake the dead,” he said, bending down to pick up her twin then. “I can clearly see where I am not wanted, so let us be off – and back to bed with you, dearest little brother,” Nardhion murmured, and Sakura could only blink sleepily as her twin brother was carried off back to bed. _She really ought to have been joining him._

“I ought to be on my way back to Dagnis,” Eithion said then, and Sakura groaned.

“Can you not stay?” she asked, glancing at him through sleepy lids pleadingly. She felt so much closer to Eithion all of a sudden, after what he had done differently in that forest. His presence there was so blissfully reassuring. _More so because his presence there was undoubtedly delaying the large scolding she would soon be receiving from the two most worrywart brothers in the house._

He came closer then, smiling apologetically. _Eithion truly had many smiles._ Sakura thought she was getting better at matching them to the correct expression he wanted to convey. “Lithuidor and Reniedir should be enough to keep you out of trouble now, little sister,” he said, patting at her chubby cheek then. “Dagnis needs me, and I do not like to leave my wife to her own devices for too long.” A chuckle left his lips then, soft and irrevocably fond. “Given both I and the healer had told her to put up her sword for the time being, she has picked up the most terrible habit of stress baking – why do you think there have been so many sweet pastries and other such sweets so readily available in this home?”

“Best be home with you before she runs out of flour or sugar, no?” Reniedir teased. “Truly, my sister-in-law is so very terrifying when she goes into such a state…”

“I think she would sooner run out of places to store her sweets, than she is to run out of ingredients,” Lithuidor murmured, a smile playing on his lips. “Do not think I did not see you carrying large sacks of flour and sugar into the pantry in your home the other day previous.”

Eithion laughed softly once more. “I will see you on the morrow brothers, if only for yet another family discussion. For now, I must return home. Rest well, Berenloth,” he whispered the last sentence, kissing her brow, leaving her oddly nonplussed.

Sakura only blinked, wincing then even as Eithion hurried out of the bathroom and back downstairs – heading off to his other home there, which wasn’t too far away, though markedly closer to Forlond than her current residence, or so she had been told. Her brothers were intent on keeping her out of the eyes of others until she was but a bit older. _Dragons, the lot of them,_ or so Sakura mused, hissing in pain as a thorn was dislodged. _Did that make she and her brother gold, then?_

“Everything will be well, Berenloth,” Reniedir murmured soothingly, telling her things only a proper child her age would have believed wholly in that innocent and pure way of theirs, abruptly reminding Sakura of how childish she seemed in the eyes of others. _Running amok through the forest probably hadn’t helped with that perception either_. She was a baby in their eyes though, no matter her physical or mental age. Lithuidor, she had on good authority, was at least three-hundred years older than her, if not more. She had yet to wrangle out an exact age, though she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to, what with how tiny, insignificant, and infant-like it made her feel in comparison. “Leithedir will return soon with our most beloved healer.”

“Duinenor would smack you upside the head if he heard you calling him that,” Lithuidor remarked pointedly. “You know that which is said about poking sleeping dragons.”

Reniedir snorted in amusement. “That it is rather inadvisable, lest one desires to be bathed in fire and flame – yes?” he murmured, somehow managing to rub soothing circles on her back even as he supported her there, where she was awkwardly positioned half-in and half-out of the bathing tub.

“Please,” Glawil’s voice startled her – and the other two, much to Sakura’s amusement, “tell me you are not mentioning anything of the horrors of dragons and _death_ ”—Sakura shuddered violently, startling Reniedir who looked at her in remorse and concern—“around your young sister.” Grey eyes cut into her brothers scathingly.

Lithuidor looked appropriately cowed.

“She is nearing on falling asleep, Glawil,” Reniedir murmured, ignoring the pointed light nudge Lithuidor gave him with his foot.

Glawil scowled and Lithuidor merely sighed, busying himself with tending to her feet once more. “Yet nearing on falling asleep is quite different to being fast asleep and unable to hear you incessant, inappropriate nattering.” She drew herself up then, and unlike any other time in which her second eldest brother wouldn’t have been crouched down, it had an effect of making her seem larger. “What will you do if you give her nightmares?”

Reniedir swallowed, and decided to focus on her face rather than Glawil’s own – drawn in an expression of stern disapproval.

He was saved having to answer though, as the sound of the front door opening hurriedly came again, and Leithedir led in an ellon she never remembered seeing before. _Duinenor_ , or so Sakura supposed as she eyed the one before her. His lips were thin and pinched – whether natural, or simply because he was a concerned adult, Sakura didn’t know – dark eyebrows drawn low. His hair was raven dark, eyes as grey as her brothers’ own. “You are the little troublemaker, then?” he mumbled, gesturing something at Lithuidor, and Sakura found herself summarily being moved around the house yet again – this time downstairs, where Lithuidor seated her atop the table, her legs swinging off the end, ready to be examined for the extent of damage done to them.

Her feet still ached, even as some sort of cool paste was summarily applied to her torn skin, her knee stinging somewhat as it was given a similar treatment. Though that was about the time her childish body said _nope_ to anything further _,_ and her head flopped down on Lithuidor’s shoulder just as the musical singing began along with a tingle in her toes.

She slept.

* * *

Birdsong woke her, bright and merry, and Sakura could only groan and cover her eyes as the sunlight flitted through the window _which was on the wrong side to usual_. A light chuckle had her turning then, because she certainly wasn’t in her room, and cracking open her fingers confirmed that she was in a double bed. Warmth told her there was a body on either side of her, and her sight told her it was undoubtedly Lithuidor and his beloved wife she had wound up sleeping between like the child she was. “Good morning, Berenloth,” her brother murmured, thumb brushing over her cheek as was tended to be done by all her brothers. Sakura blamed the baby fat for the apparent obsession her brothers had with poking at her face. “I trust you slept well after last night’s excitement?”

There was a tone to his voice which belayed exactly what he thought of said _excitement,_ and Sakura only shuffled awkwardly, trying to shift to a seated position, a squeak escaping her as she put some weight on her feet. “Oww,” she mumbled, hating the tears biting at the corners of her eyes.

Lithuidor sighed, lifting himself up onto an elbow as he lay on his side. “You are not to put any pressure on your feet for the next week, Berenloth,” he informed her then, and Sakura could only stare at him, wide-eyed. “Duinenor healed you enough so that nothing will scar, but there is still lingering soreness in some parts and a little healing left to happen in good time in others.” She tilted her head, taking in his words then – part of her both wondering and dreading how she was meant to get around the house or even outside to gain some fresh air as she liked to as much as her brothers allowed. Her silent question was answered in the next breath. “I or another of your brothers will be in charge of carrying you, should you wish to go somewhere.”

“The shores?” Berenloth offered, wanting to taste that salty, strong breeze once more.

The look her eldest brother gave her, even without his words said it all. “Berenloth – you, dear sister, are _grounded._ ”

Sakura lamented the fact she knew no swearwords in Sindarin as she flopped back down on her back and rolled away from Lithuidor with a loud huff. _She had never been grounded before._ Part of her despised the odd sense of helplessness and irritation which came with that declaration. That same part of her thought herself _too old_ to be chastised with such a thing as being grounded.

“Surely you did not think you could get away with charging off into a forest in the middle of the night – even under extenuating circumstances – without any form of repercussion?” Glawil asked softly, and Sakura huffed loudly again, hating the fact she couldn’t escape the stares which felt like they bore holes in her.

“It hardly changes a thing,” Sakura muttered grouchily. “I am almost _always_ grounded – never able to leave the house without someone following me…” She folded her arms then, annoyance and irritation making her want to punch something. Though by then that was a familiar urge which she knew how to quash. Violence and roughhousing weren’t as tolerated there as they were in Konoha.

“We take you to the shores, and through the forest on walks,” Lithuidor said evenly, making her scowl and huff again. “We can hardly leave you to your own devices, Berenloth, dear,” he continued, heedless of the little puddle of anger condensing in her gut. “That would be irresponsible on our part.” Fingers smoothed her hair down – yet another of her brothers’ favourite things to do when it came to her. Sakura wondered if it was due to the odd colouring. “Look what happened when you ran off yesterday,” he said solemnly, and Sakura could only roll back to face him, irritation gnawing at her very bones themselves at her inability to put much, if any, pressure on her healing feet.

“Only because I did not think to put boots on, because I was preoccupied with running away from you all,” Sakura said grumpily. “Had I put boots on you would have grabbed me before I could escape,” she added, a surly scowl set upon her face. Her brother wasn’t offput in the slightest, grey eyes boring into her green ones all the while, claiming her attention so. The touch of smoother hands reaching from behind startled her abruptly, and she broke off her impromptu staring contest with her eldest brother to stare at her brother’s wife.

“Truly, your mind works in strange ways, Berenloth,” Glawil murmured, pulling her into an odd hug of sorts as she lay there, trapped between them and the quilt atop her. Sakura flinched. _Strange. Different. Weird._ She didn’t like feeling like those words were stuck to her, defining her so. Grey eyes looked at her strangely then, one silvery brow rising in confusion as Sakura pulled away, extricating herself from her grasp. _Not that it was particularly difficult._

“Well, at least now you know that you ought to always put shoes on when you go outside,” Lithuidor said, rolling onto his own back, sighing softly then.

“Unless I am being pursued,” Sakura muttered petulantly, hating the trapped feeling she felt as she lay there, wishing all the while that her feet would magically heal allowing her to walk as normal. Grey eyes locked on her, and she squirmed somewhat under the oddly intent gazes directed her way. “Otherwise I would be caught.”

“Berenloth,” Lithuidor said, sounding exasperated by that point. “This I promise you – while in this house you will not be pursued from it, lest you do something to worth meriting us chasing you so very intently.”

“Running away hardly merited—”

Lithuidor scowled then. “You underestimate your worth to us, sister,” he said, voice like steel – stern and unyielding. His thumb brushed under her eye, caressing the soft skin there, uncaring as to how she scowled at the action. “I do not like it when you make yourself sound as though you ought to mean naught to us.”

Sakura stuck out her tongue, far beyond fed up with her overprotective brother, _and his wife who was doing nothing to rein his tendencies in._

Lithuidor sighed, and Sakura felt as though she had claimed a small victory in what she was certain to be an uphill battle.

A light knock came on the door then, and she had the dubious pleasure of seeing her second oldest brother stick his head in. “Caleniel and I have finished making breakfast,” Reniedir said, smiling winningly at them then. “We would very much like it if we all had it while it is still hot.”

Nodding, Lithuidor climbed out of bed then, stretching his arms above his head. “You can carry Berenloth down,” he said, and Sakura barely managed to blink before she was hefted out of bed and plonked down in Reniedir’s arms. Sakura scowled at her eldest brother, baring her teeth then in irritation. “Though be careful – she is a bit grumpy this morning.”

“I am _not_ grumpy!” Sakura hissed, a swell of annoyance surging up within her then as she glared at Lithuidor. _She was rightfully annoyed at being treated like the child she looked to be. She was rightfully annoyed she wasn’t allowed to wander about like she had in her childhood once before, and the cloistering feeling of being caged that brought with it._

“You are,” Lithuidor said plainly, poking her cheek then with one finger.

Sakura tried to bite it out of spite.

“See?” her eldest brother spoke, tilting his head.

Reniedir chuckled, and Sakura ground her teeth together. “I will leave you both to change,” he said, and Sakura found herself being carried out of the room. “Come along, Berenloth,” Reniedir said _as though he wasn’t carrying her and thus bringing her along with him._ “Breakfast awaits. Perchance that might cheer you up, no?” he offered, and Sakura folded her arms, pouting then as she sulked – stuck in her brother’s arms, unable to walk under her own steam. _She ignored the voice in her head which whispered that actions had consequences as she was so experiencing._

“Ah!” A familiar head of red hair perked up as she came into sight, even as scowling as she was. “Little sister!” Leithedir said joyously, smiling at her so merrily before he frowned then. “Why do you look so upset?” he asked, patting the seat next to him as Reniedir made the motion to place her down.

Nardhion snorted from where he was in the kitchen, situated between his own wife, Lastriel, and Reniedir’s wife, Caleniel. “Obviously from Lithuidor being his usual annoying self,” he muttered, earning himself a sharp elbow from the brown-haired elleth Sakura knew to be his wife, while the similarly brown-haired Caleniel snorted under her breath. “Ow!” Nardhion grumbled, rubbing at his side then. “That hurt,” he whined. “You have sharp elbows, love.”

Lastriel smiled. “You knew that, dear, and you still married me,” she said, and Sakura barely resisted the urge to gag. _If only to hide the slight ache in her heart whenever she thought of loving couples and all that she might have lost out on thanks to her death._

“Indeed,” Nardhion murmured, and Sakura looked away, actually gagging somewhat as her brother drew his wife close for a kiss. _One which lasted for minutes instead of mere seconds._

Leithedir leant her his hand with which to cover her eyes, heart aching along with part of her being just a bit weirded out. _Both from seeing the affectionate display and from the fact it was her brother participating in it._ Not that she had been witness to any displays of affection aside from those of her brothers or their wives. “I do hope you are not slobbering in our breakfast, dear brother,” Leithedir called, and Sakura then knew the instant whatever Lastriel had been carrying was planted down on the table – mainly because it was Nardhion, and he was putting it down angrily. _Truly, he became irritated far too easily._ Sakura was only thankful Lastriel was there to balance him out. It was oddly alarming how easily the older elleth could calm her brother from the simplest of touches or softly whispered words.

Sakura moved the hand blocking her vision then, staring at the large bowl of porridge set before her. It was one of her favourites of that place, given everything was so far removed from that which she had for many years before those current ones. Sakura made grabby hands for the bowl, watching with slight annoyance as Leithedir smiled indulgingly at her.

“How much would you like—”

“Wait until we are all seated, brother,” Reniedir called, helping bringing the other assorted breakfasts to the table. “Patience, little sister. Let us wait for Lithuidor and the others to join us. It is more fun to eat with everyone, no?” he spoke, seating himself down next to her, if only probably for the dark look sent his way at the mention of their stuffy eldest brother who had so irritated her.

Her eldest brother arrived then, wife and Maethon in tow, seating themselves down around the overly large table made to seat all of them. Maethon didn’t look at her. _But maybe that was because she was being an angry bean…_ Sakura didn’t particularly care right then and there. She just wished she could run amok on her own two feet.

“We did not bother you too much last night, did we, Maethon?” Leithedir asked, ladling out porridge into a bowl for her then, passing her the syrup she so liked atop the creamy, milky oats. “I am afraid it was rather noisy,” he added, quickly finding the plate of _pancakes_ that she so enjoyed – along with the waffles both Dagnis, Caleniel, and Nardhion were exceptional at making. _Reniedir made the best porridge hands down though._

“I am used to such things by now,” Maethon said, staring at her very pointedly then from his seat next to Lastril and opposite Reniedir, and Sakura huffed. _She wasn’t in the wrong for running away right then and there – she wasn’t supposed to be blamed for being overwhelmed by the sheer weirdness which was now her life._ One of them should have tried dying and being booted into a completely new world with a bunch of overprotective brothers in tow. “No matter how _puerile_ they are,” her twin continued, eyes narrowing on her, and Sakura had trouble remembering that her brother was really only six years old. Though she supposed it was fairly ordinary for elven children to advance more rapidly in the mental side of things. That had been made apparent by everything around her.

Sakura shoved a spoonful of porridge into her mouth, chewing viciously, irritation boiling over by that point. _Yes, she got the point that it had probably been a bad idea to run off the night previous, but what else had she been supposed to do?_ She had just wanted to have some breathing room to figure everything out. That was hardly a crime. _She didn’t think that she deserved to be punished for that much_. “You learnt that word yesterday,” Sakura declared, having swallowed that delectable porridge she so loved.

“And?” Grey eyes bore into her green ones blankly.

She scoffed. “Well done for finding a use for it so soon,” she grumbled. “You must feel so very clever.” A sneer pulled at her expression and Leithedir sighed deeply next to her, hand going to cover his face right then and there. Sakura wished she had pointy elbows which could hurt. _Like Lastriel._

“Berenloth,” Lithuidor spoke, voice holding a hint of a warning note to it.

Sakura growled. “Maethon started it!” she hissed, shovelling another mouthful of porridge into her mouth. _She hated being called childish. She hated feeling so tiny and helpless. She hated being in that tiny little body which didn’t grow at the same rate she was used to._ Though there wasn’t anything she could do, seeing as she _was_ Berenloth, the baby little elf child. She had thought she had accepted that. _She had thought wrong._ Nothing, it seemed, could be that simple for her.

“Berenloth,” Lithuidor repeated pointedly.

“Yes,” Sakura hissed, rounding on her eldest brother then. _The one who was always so insistent on her staying close, and nor going out anywhere._ The one who was insisting on her staying off her feet and being locked away in the pretty little birdcages which were the house and the arms of her brothers. “That is my name!”

“Berenloth,” he repeated again, and Sakura ground her teeth together and glared at him, irritation surging in her belly. “Calm down,” he stated pointedly _like she was some little soldier to be ordered about._

“I am calm,” she hissed, angrily sticking her spoon back into her porridge.

“You are irritated and grumpy—”

Porridge hit his face, just a little ways to the left of the forehead shot she had been aiming for. Though her breakfast had managed to get in those dark brown locks which made her feel terribly giddy and gleeful. The porridge made for a nice contrast with that dark hair, more so when it rolled down the side of his face and hit the table with a loud plop which seemed louder in the silence which had abruptly fallen right then and there.

Lithuidor sighed. “Berenloth—”

Sakura threw another spoonful for good measure, scowling as Lithuidor dodged the glob of porridge that time around, glaring at those grey eyes which were narrowed upon her in disapproval. For once though, Sakura didn’t particularly care. _It was his fault she was confined to the stupid house – his orders which had made it so. He was the eldest there._ She ignored the whispered reminder in the back of her head that it was more because her feet were injured from her own choices the night before.

“Leithedir,” Lithuidor said, glancing pointedly at their red-haired brother, and Sakura found her spoon being taken from her hand in an instant, her porridge being moved away from easy reach. An enraged squeak left her lips, eyebrows drawing together as she found a spoonful of her preferred breakfast offered out to her, grey eyes staring down at her reproachfully.

“Do you want more syrup added?” Leithedir asked, moving the spoon closer to her lips which remained furiously closed. “Come on, Berenloth, this is your favourite!” he said, a small smile curving at his lips. Sakura folded her arms, kicking her legs back and forth then as though that could imitate the feel of running and the freedom of the fresh air of the outdoors.

It couldn’t, and Sakura only felt that much more frustrated as she stared at Lithuidor from where he sat opposite her – the stern expression on his face making her want to punch something. He was just watching as Leithedir tried to feed her like she was a toddler incapable of doing such a thing. _She was capable of feeding herself, just as she was capable of going somewhere without anyone hovering over her or carrying her to one destination or another._

“Behave, Berenloth, and eat your breakfast,” Lithuidor said, staring at her then, a gleam of irritation just about visible on his face.

The spoon poked at her lips, and Sakura barely registered something in her snapping like a frayed string – _likely her fragile temper thanks to the realities of being grounded and unable to move as freely as she would have liked_ – as her head turned, mouth opening for her teeth to clamp down on skin and bone rather than allowing herself to be spoon-fed more porridge. _She wasn’t that much of a child so as to need someone to hold the spoon for her._

Leithedir yelped as her teeth sunk in and drew blood, cutting into his wrist viciously. “Berenloth!” he hissed, pain written across his face as he stared at her in shock, and Sakura only snarled at the overuse of her new name. _Certainly, she had decided to live as Berenloth, because that was who she was, but it wasn’t as if she could magically flip a switch and become so very used to the name._ It still felt a bit odd, and being called _Berenloth_ over and over again was tiring. _Was it too much for the universe to give her just one tinsy tiny break every once in a while?_ Because apparently it was. She needed more time – more space which her brothers refused to give because she was too tiny and small for such things. _They had the nerve to claim they were being responsible in doing so._ A growl more suited to a feral animal rumbled up from her chest then.

A chair screeched, breaking through the haze of her irritated thoughts swirling about in her mind, footsteps sounding as they came closer and closer, and that was pretty much the only warning she had before she was pulled up and out of her seat, her teeth losing their grasp on Leithedir in an instant. Breath escaped her as a shoulder met her gut, her vision being taken up by familiar robes and familiar dark hair which she immediately started chewing on, uncaring as to the taste of her brother’s hair care products. “Get the highchair out,” Lithuidor ordered, and Sakura immediately started squirming, feet kicking at thin air as she was held so very firmly over her eldest brother’s shoulder.

“No!” Sakura snarled, beating her annoyingly weak fists against his back then. _Not that they made any difference, even as irritated as she was._

“You should have thought about your actions then,” Lithuidor said levelly, even as a brush of silver hair flickered in the corner of her vision, _Reniedir_ obviously being the ever dutiful, obedient brother he often was at times when it came to Lithuidor. “If you cannot sit nicely and behave at the table, then you will not be permitted to eat there.”

Tears of frustration bit at the corners of her eyes, and Sakura only increased the fervour of her kicking – though it took her a moment to realise she was screaming in frustration too. _Like a child,_ part of her mind whispered, which only served to make her even more frustrated and frantic. Her foot slammed into something then, a howl of pain escaping her before she could supress it.

“Stop, Berenloth!” Lithuidor hissed. “I cannot seat you down like this.”

“Good!” Sakura hissed right back, continuing to flail as best she could to stave off the indignity of being put in the damned highchair – which she could still unfortunately fit into on account of elf children being so very slow to grow in height and body.

Her brother was unfortunately far too patient, _something Sakura blamed on how long he had lived in comparison to her,_ and she was panting and very much exhausted by the time her brother placed her down in the embarrassment of a chair some ten minutes later. Her face was covered in tears and snot, and Sakura could only sniffle as she slumped in her new seat. “I think,” Lithuidor said, brushing her pink locks back away from her sweaty brow, glancing down at her sternly as she snapped her teeth at him, “that you should finish your breakfast, and then, I do believe it is naptime for you, Berenloth.”

Lips wobbled, fresh tears of annoyance rolling down her cheeks as she sat in a damned _highchair_ in the middle of their moderately-sized kitchen the next room over from the dining room where she had just been seated.

“Here,” Reniedir spoke then, arriving with the remnants of her breakfast in tow, and Sakura could only stare up at her second eldest brother glumly. A spoonful of her favourite breakfast meal was pressed to her lips, and Sakura sighed as she ate it then, arms and legs aching too much to even try to push her much taller and older brother away. _It was too sweet._ Tears rolled down her cheeks in fresh waves, the occasional sniffle joining in as she valiantly tried to refrain from getting anymore of her own snot anywhere where it wasn’t meant to be.

It was only once she was finished that Lithuidor approached, wiping at her messy face gently with a cloth. “Time for you to nap,” he said then, nodding at Reniedir, and Sakura sniffled once more as she was lifted. _Unable to do anything for herself, like the helpless little child she was._

“Hate you,” she muttered, glaring at her eldest brother then. _The one who had trapped her – both in that house and in that embarrassing contraption which only toddlers and babies were meant to use._ Sakura ignored the snide whisper which said _she was one._

“Berenloth,” Reniedir murmured, looking at her in disapproval, but then she turned and buried her face in his shoulder, hiding away from the rest of the world. _Like a child._ Hiding away from the judging stares. _Like a child._ All the while wishing she could have been a bit more normal. _Because then she would have been more like Maethon._ He seemed fine and well, and all in all, perfectly adjusted to living there in that world, and the little voice in the back of her head started whispering once more.

_Cuckoo._

Jealousy burned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... Sakura is kind of not adjusting well, and it takes more than one heartfelt conversation in the woods to help her adjust as such. Doubts, unfortunately, don't just vanish at the click of a finger. 
> 
> But it's not going to become a complete angst-fest like SFBV because Sakura isn't depressed here - rather she's struggling to adapt, just like a child genius (Kakashi, anybody?) can struggle with things communication wise, and she's come from a place (Elemental Nations) where people don't seem to talk about their issues (because hello paranoia, they're out to get me, anybody?) which makes it doubly hard because she's trying to adapt to a new culture with new restrictions set upon her, and I don't think Sakura even canon-ish personality wise would take well to being stuffed in a child's body with restrictions she's not too familiar with from her last life which might invoke trauma because shinobi don't like being trapped and are used to a level of independence.
> 
> Fun fact though: I only had the very bare bones of this plot chapter-wise of this work figured out, and I'm going where my muses take me. We're spending way longer than I thought in Sakura/Berenloth's childhood than what I originally planned, meaning you get more family drama along with Sakura being a bit of a brat at times to the rest of her family. (Because originally I thought there'd be two chapters of Sakura being tiny before I went into her adult years... but... well, you get to enjoy more of her childhood and family bonding and also Sakura slowly adjusting to literally everything around her.)
> 
> PS: I've been getting some shtick as to my portrayal of Sakura and the like and her not being 'mature' enough here for some people or her being annoying in all her 'self-pity and self-doubt' across my works (which is probably a bit of dig at SFBV though I've specifically said I'm rather sensitive as to how people complain about my portrayal of depression because that, as I've said in chapter 14 of SFBV, is a trigger for me). I'm going to say this now, unless it's politely worded constructive criticism or otherwise politely worded on what you liked and also disliked about her character, if you say in other words 'your portrayal of Sakura is stupid, always so pitiful, or otherwise annoying, or that I simply despise it' then it's going to be a tossup between an angry, fed-up response about why I've done things the way I have and why I think you're being a git, or you'll be ignored, or you'll get a 'good for you for having an opinion. Now why should I care about it?' because while I do try to be polite, I'm, as I've said, fed the fuck up of people thinking their opinions like that have zero effect on me.


	6. The Brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked for a list of the brothers and so I have delivered what I currently have on all of them. FN = Father Name, MN = Mother Name, and the other name is another they might sometimes go by. I have it in my head that the MN is the one tended to be used by family, except in the twins' cases for plot reasons you'll find out, or might be able to guess.
> 
> Brothers:
> 
> Dûrchanar (Dark-Brother) FN, Lithuidor (Ashen/Dusty-Brother) MN, Taemen (Long and Thin-Husband) – Black Hair, Grey Eyes
> 
> Celephindor (Silver Tresses-Brother) FN, Reniedir (To Wander-Male) MN, Thadhrion (To Kindle-Son) – Silver Hair, Grey Eyes
> 
> Falasdir (Beach-Man) FN, Nardhion (Knot-Son) MN, Linnedir (To Chant-Male) – Silver Hair, Grey Eyes
> 
> Osbion (Smoke-Son) FN, Leithedir (To Set Free-Male) MN – Red Hair, Grey Eyes
> 
> Nandaer (Grassland-Groom) FN, Eithion (To Ease/Assist-Son) MN, Dimaethorchon (Silence Warrior-Brother) – Black Hair, Grey Eyes
> 
> Maethon (To Fight-Male) FN, (to be revealed in good time) MN – epesse/nickname Berenlas – Sakura’s TWIN – Silver Hair, Grey Eyes
> 
> Others:
> 
> Lastriel (To Listen-Daughter) – Wife of Falasdir – Brown Hair, Blue Eyes
> 
> Caleniel (Green-Daughter) – Wife of Celephindor – Brown Hair, Grey Eyes
> 
> Glawil (Radiance-Female) – Wife of Dûrchanar – Silver Hair, Grey Eyes
> 
> Dagnis (To Slay-Female) – Wife of Nandaer – Red Hair, Grey Eyes
> 
> But without further ado, let's get back to more of Sakura being a bit of a traumatised brat because she hasn't learnt any healthy coping mechanisms, and her brothers being sweethearts but also really obstinate in some cases (cough*Lithuidor*cough).

Everything came back to her so very slowly as she opened her eyes, staring up at the ceiling above her. It was the same ceiling she was all too familiar with – the same she had been sleeping beneath since she and her brother turned two and were given their own little beds rather than the cots they had been kept within for two years. Though that had been about the time that they had learned how to not roll over in their sleep or move about too much in said rest, thereby circumventing the worry of falling off their beds and injuring themselves doing so. Sakura bit her lip, casting her mind back to those oddly blissful days despite the fresh memories of her death and the overall internal debate on _what in the four winds was going on._ She had never started debating on the hows and the whys back then. She had just tried to adapt and come to love the ones who took care of her. It had been so simple before the doubts and worries had caught up with her and started dragging her down into the depths of despair and confusion.

Tears bit at the corners of her eyes, her hand coming up then to clutch at her chest. _The chest which was whole and unbroken, despite its tiny girth and length._ Sakura shook her head, pushing the memory away. She didn’t want to remember those last moments which haunted her so. She didn’t want to recall that pain as that bright blue sphere tore through her guts and that chirping lightning-clad hand burst through her chest, heart torn asunder. She didn’t want to remember the blood which had burst up through her throat, red liquid spraying on whiskered cheeks set upon a face drawn in dawning horror—

_“Sakura!”_

She sat up with a start then, bile rising in her gut as she remembered the vivid feelings, tastes, and smells of that fateful day which had brought a strange fate down upon her. _Haruno Sakura was dead._ She had died then. Now she was Berenloth who carried the name Sakura deep within herself – for Berenloth was made from Sakura. They were one and the same. She had accepted that part, pushing aside the niggling doubts which sometimes wanted to bite because she couldn’t allow for them to consume her. Sakura only hoped it would grow easier as she spent more time in that world – when the years she had spent there far outweighed those of which she had spent in the Elemental Nations.

_“Sakura, no!”_ Naruto’s voice echoed around in her head, along with the grunt of Sasuke’s surprise. Pain wracked her body then, coldness seeping into her very veins themselves as the icy hand of death reached for her then, blood hot and thick in her throat as she choked—

Her eyes widened, shivers rushing over her skin as she lunged for the side of her bed, heedless for the ache in her feet as she scrambled to make it free from the sheets wrapping her up, having a moment to take in the sight of one of her brothers sitting there in a chair beside her bedside before the contents of her stomach were ejected onto the floor with a horrible splat. “Berenloth!” Reniedir’s voice made her look up for but a second before she retched once more, the horrible taste in the back of her throat making her gag even as a hand came to rub soothing circles on her back. “Shh,” her brother whispered, supporting her there with one hand, the other only leaving her back to fetch the glass of water set upon her nightstand. “You are fine, dear sister,” he murmured, helping her sit up then, the rim of the glass pressed to her lips. “Here – drink,” Reniedir ordered, and Sakura couldn’t bring herself to disobey. _She wanted to get rid of that foul taste, and the horrible twisting in her gut._

Sakura gulped the water down, relaxing somewhat as the sickly feeling faded just a bit, and she slumped in her brother’s arms then. She had barely registered until that moment that she had been pulled atop her brother’s lap, a handkerchief dabbing at the corners of her mouth, cleaning up the drools of vomit she could feel lingering there.

“Do you still feel unwell?” Reniedir asked, staring down at her then, and Sakura only shook her head slowly, shoving away the memories of her death then. Though not very well, given the trembling still so very prominent in her limbs as her brother cradled her so very carefully. _Like she was something so very precious which needed to be protected from the evils of the world._

A knock on the door came then, and Sakura only buried her head in Reniedir’s shoulder as annoyance and shame curled in her gut at the sound of Lithuidor’s voice. “Is everything well in here?” her eldest brother questioned, and she could feel his eyes set on the pair of them – along with hearing the evident pause as he spotted the puddle of her vomit on the floor. “Do I need to fetch Duinenor or another of the healers?”

“She does not seem to have a fever or any other illness…” Reniedir said, fingers finding her forehead, and Sakura risked a glimpse up to find her second eldest brother staring down at her in visible concern as she continued to shake somewhat in his arms. “Berenloth, can you tell me what is wrong?” he asked, heedless of the way her stomach twisted at that question.

“’m fine,” she mumbled, voice half muffled by the cloth of Reniedir’s robes.

“Take her downstairs for the time being,” Lithuidor ordered then. “Perhaps let her rest on the sofa with a blanket. I will clean up in here.”

Reniedir stood then, and Sakura’s fingers curled in the fabric of his robes, crinkling them then as she hid her face away out of sight of her elder brother. “Is there anything you wish to say to Lithuidor before we go?” he asked her then, and Sakura only scowled mulishly.

“No!” she declared in a huff, remembering the indignity of the highchair and the one who had forced her to sit in such a contraption who stood right before her then. _She didn’t know what Reniedir seemed to so desperately want her to say._

Her second oldest brother only frowned down at her, a soft sigh escaping him then as he moved towards the door. “I will talk with her Lithuidor,” he said, and Sakura felt her grasp on her brother’s clothes tighten, her hands balling into little fists as frustration, embarrassment, shame, and an unsightly amount of pride reared their ugly heads within her.

“See that you do,” Lithuidor said, his voice tight, and Sakura could only sneer into Reniedir’s robes because she hated the highchair and the one who had forced her into such a contraption something fierce. Sakura ignored the part of her which whispered she _was_ a child. She was seventeen and six. _Elves become adults when they’re a hundred,_ some snide part of her murmured then. She was far from such an age. _Child_. “Though making her apologise to Leithedir, or at least impressing on her not to bite others like a wild animal, are more important.”

Reniedir was moving then, closing the door quietly behind him as Lithuidor moved to clean up her and Maethon’s room. “Berenloth,” Reniedir’s voice was harsher then, compared to those gentle tones when he had been rubbing at her back. “I know you might not be feeling well today, but that is no excuse for your behaviour earlier this morning. You hurt Leithedir with those teeth of yours, and Lithuidor with your words – and before the end of the day is out, I expect you to apologise to both of them, otherwise there will be consequences,” he said, and Sakura felt her stomach twist yet again, shame, guilt, embarrassment, and pride clawing at her then. A sniffle escaped her, earning her a soft, gentle pat on the back as she was carried down the stairs and into the living room.

Maethon glanced up from where he was playing with Dagnis – who had evidently arrived while she had been napping – a grimace on his tiny, cherubic face as he spotted her in Reniedir’s arms. A frown crossed her own face, even as she was set down on the sofa, a blanket placed over her by Caleniel, Reniedir’s wife. There was a pillow beneath her head, even as the two ellith were informed she wasn’t feeling very well. That and the fact that Reniedir would shortly be meeting up with the others for another ‘brothers plus Glawil’ meeting.

Eithion was bustling about the kitchen with Nardhion at his side – both cleaning up and starting on preparations for lunch. Dagnis, much to her own disappointment, wasn’t allowed to help – if only because she had a new tendency to go overboard when it came to both cooking and baking. Sakura wasn’t sure if she was feeling up to having lunch. Given she had just upchucked the contents of her stomach, she was undoubtedly hungry, but the highchair was still there, having been moved to the dining area, and as such it was clear where she would be sitting.

Smooth fingers ran over her face, Caleniel smiling down at her. “Are you well, Berenloth?” she asked, tucking strands of pink back behind her pointed ear. There were subtle differences between the ears of ellyn and ellith, she had noticed, the main one of which being the angle of the pointed tips. Her brothers were more upright, while the ears of herself and other ellith had their points ever so slightly dropped. It was a subtle difference, one which had taken years for her to work out, given she had only recently been around other ellith more often. That and the fact she wasn’t too keen on staring at her reflection in the mirror, because it was only a reminder of how everything had changed. There were features old and new to her. _Those of Haruno Sakura and Berenloth, twin sister of Maethon who was meant to resemble her twin more closely._

At first she had wondered if her brothers were becoming worried by her slightly too tomboyish ways – what with being surrounded by them and only them – or had perhaps wanted a strong female presence in her life to better guide her with things, but Glawil was just a bit too lovely and distant, Lastriel sung soothing songs far too often, Dagnis was rarely around, and Caleniel was similar to her in some respects. More than once, Sakura had only been able to watch on in jealousy as the so-called ‘Green-Daughter’ as Reniedir had so named his wife, led her second eldest brother off into the woods, laughing all the while. _She wasn’t allowed to run off into the forest like that, lest she have brothers chasing after her and trying to keep her in their sights at all times._

“’m fine,” she grumbled, cheek smooshed against the pillow, muffling her words somewhat. Caleniel cooed at her, pulling the blanket up to her chin then, and Sakura only shifted atop the sofa. It was a greenish blue, reminding her of the colouring of parts of the sea, and she wriggled underneath the blanket, adjusting her position as best she could without putting too much pressure on the soles of her sore feet.

“Tell me if that changes, won’t you?” she spoke then, the words not a question, and all Sakura could do was nod mulishly. “Thank you, Berenloth,” she murmured, smoothing down her pink locks atop her head then.

Sakura took the quiet non-enforced naptime to gather and order her thoughts. It was something which was happening more and more, as doubts and fears crept up behind her and tried to bring her down. _Tried to swallow her whole and make her disappear_. She didn’t like to focus on the hows she had ended up in such a situation as lying on the sofa, staring at her elven brothers, her elven twin, and most of the former’s wives. Her shoulders sunk and she stared listlessly on as her twin played with Dagnis, who occasionally allowed him to listen to their little niece or nephew as they grew. Life really was such a precious thing, and elves treasured it so – particularly new life. _Children._ And that was what she was now. _A child._ She wasn’t human. She was an elf. Such was her life now. _She just had to bloody well accept that fact – accept being treated like a child when she really didn’t know how to be a child._ She had become an adult at twelve, fought for her village, saved lives and taken a thousand more. She had grown in body and mind though she had still had a little ways to go before she had thrown herself between two deadly jutsu. Sakura shivered at the memory of that moment. And then she had… ended up there.

She was Haruno Sakura. Seventeen years old. Shinobi of Konohagakure. Med-nin, Apprentice of Tsunade. War Hero.

She was Berenloth. Six years old. Twin to Maethon. Sister to several others. A child, tiny and in need of protection and guidance.

The differences between the two were laughably great. Two pieces of a two different puzzles which never should have fit together as they had. _Haruno Sakura was dead. Berenloth was alive._ They were both Sakura. And Sakura was going to be Berenloth. She was Berenloth, no matter how confusing her mind seemed to make that fact seem. Nothing could ever be simple for her it seemed. It was funny how often she had blamed Team Seven for her misfortunes, but this one was seemingly of her own making.

_And Team Seven might as well have been dead and buried for her…_ She was on her own in what she was there, no matter how her brothers loved her so.

“Lunch is ready!” Nardhion called, slicing through her thought ordering – brooding was probably a more apt way to put it – and Sakura abruptly realised that organising even such simple thoughts as _who she was supposed to be_ had eaten away some hours of daylight.

Caleniel was in front of her then, lifting her up then with a surprising amount of strength. “Are you feeling well enough to eat?” she asked, and Sakura nodded glumly. Her stomach growled almost embarrassingly loud, a sinking feeling in her gut as she found herself placed down in the highchair once more. The fight against being placed in such a chair had left her though, after the events of the morning, and so she glumly sat in such a thing that children used.

_You are a child,_ part of her whispered, and her toes curled as she glumly watched as her lunch was set before her. Listlessly, she ate, anger replaced by an odd numbness as she pushed her food about on her plate. _Like a child._

Sakura didn’t know how she was meant to feel about that anymore.

There was the indignation of Haruno Sakura who was seventeen, nearly fully-grown and very much an adult in the eyes of Konohagakure since the tender age of twelve. She wasn’t in Konohagakure anymore, and Haruno Sakura was dead. There was frustration and a whole other cocktail of emotions which lurked within Berenloth thanks to that. _And Sakura was Berenloth,_ she reminded herself. One day she hoped she wouldn’t have to remind herself that she was Sakura and that Sakura was Berenloth, for the latter couldn’t exist without the former.

Anger burned within her, bottled up and sealed away, confusion always swirling about inside – ever a question burning in her mind: _why?_ It was driving her mad the more she thought about it. _But then again, why had she been born in the Elemental Nations in the first place?_ Her shoulders sunk, her food tasting like ash as she swallowed the mashed potato Nardhion had a hand in making. _Perhaps there wasn’t some grand reason for her being there._ She was just another face in the background of a canvas full of them. _But at least she had her brothers._

Her eyes lifted from the tray of the highchair then, studiously avoiding Maethon because he would only irritate her for _puerile_ reasons. _But she was a child, wasn’t she?_ The thought question rang around her brain, and something simmered within her belly then. _Disgust? Irritation?_ Sakura didn’t know. She didn’t know if she wanted to know. Everything was so confusing and she was already so very tired of the doubts and worries which gnawed at her whenever her thoughts lingered on her being for too long.

Lithuidor glanced at her then, and she broke her stare with him almost instantly as rage, annoyance, and just a smidgeon of guilt ate at her. _But he didn’t look like he had been hurt by her words, no matter what Reniedir had said._ She swung her legs back and forward, feeling terribly restless. _Trapped._ Sakura didn’t like being trapped – it had been drilled into her for seventeen years that being trapped was a very bad situation to be in. _One had to contemplate biting their tongue, or perhaps using another method of killing themselves off before possible torture and potential to release classified information._ Her hands shook as she recalled those lessons, despite the more logical part of her brain whispering that _it wasn’t like that there._

“You will sit in that chair until evening on Orgaladhad,” Lithuidor informed her then, and her eyes snapped up to meet his then. It was Ormenel, the fifth day of the week. Orgaladhad was the fourth day. She was to be in the highchair for the rest of that day and the five after that. Six days. One week. _Yet another difference between the Elemental Nations and then._ Though it was more for ritual than any practical purpose. _Because of course elves, who couldn’t perish of old age, would have a different way of counting time._ “If there are no more incidences like this morning, then you will be permitted to join us back at this table. Understand, Berenloth?”

Sakura nodded glumly, going back to pushing food around her plate once more. _Like a child._

“Use your words, little sister,” Lithuidor said.

Annoyance flared, flashing across her face for but a moment before she quashed it sharply. _Annoyance and anger would harm rather than help right then and there._ “Yes, _brother,_ ” she grumbled.

“Are you finished, dear sister?” Nardhion asked, already standing and then blocking her view of Lithuidor, a self-assured, oddly smug smile set upon his face.

Sakura nodded.

“Words, Berenloth,” Lithuidor called softly.

“Yes,” she bit out, setting her cutlery down, partially to avoid the _childish_ overwhelming urge to throw something at her eldest brother.

Nardhion smiled then, ruffling her petal pink locks as he lifted her plate from the tray, carrying it away into the kitchen, and Sakura could only glare at the tray then, swinging her legs back and forth as she waited and waited for someone to free her. She hated being trapped. _But she was going to be trapped in the highchair for the rest of the week. Just like she was going to be trapped in her brothers’ arms for however long it took for her feet to heal._

The air felt cloying then, suffocating, the air so very thick as she dragged a breath into her lungs. Her legs knocked against the highchair then as she swung them back and forth, all the while wanting to be free. _Was it so wrong to wish for that? To want the wind rustling through her hair and the taste of the salty breeze on her tongue?_ She was no longer a child of the forest, content to run atop tree branches at dazzling speeds with the scent of pine and other woody smells surrounding her.

_A child of the sea, that is what you are, yes?_

Salt tingled on her tongue as her head shot up, the hairs on the back of her neck rising at the sound of the masculine voice resounding in her ears.

“Berenloth?” Leithedir looked at her then, concern written so very obviously on his face as he stared at her then. Sakura stared back at him, puzzled by the concern right then and there as the taste of salt vanished and her hairs relaxed. Fear and curiosity were replaced by guilt and shame, her green eyes flickering to the bite mark on his wrist then.

She looked away from him then, hating the gaze which held no hatred nor accusation for marring her brother’s flesh. _Kind._ Her brothers were so very kind. She tried to quash the shame she felt for not being the innocent sweet girl who didn’t lash out and get angry far too often. Her fingers trembled, toes twitching as the want to _be free_ in any way possible from that contraption keeping her in place rising and rising until it was almost unbearable. _Being trapped meant death._ The thought had been drilled in too deeply, becoming an instinct of sort.

Sakura didn’t want to die again. Dying hurt—the crush of bone, the squelch of blood and organ, the stench and taste of blood in her throat, the icy clutches of death which made her shiver uncontrollably—

_Warmth._

_Life._

She clutched onto it then, pushing the terrifying memories away. She had died, but now she was _alive_. She hadn’t liked the pain which had resulted in her death and subsequent embodiment there. Then there was the ache of losing everything she had known – the confusion of being cast adrift in a place so very foreign. _But that place was no longer as foreign as it had been, what with her having lived within its strange culture for six years._ It should have been more familiar – it would have been more familiar and less strange if she hadn’t been Haruno Sakura before. _That was pretty much what everything always boiled down to._

“Shh,” came the soft voice of her brother, a hand patting at her back then as she hid her face in the crook of his neck. “Let us find someplace quiet,” Leithedir murmured, carrying her away then from all the stares she could feel boring into her back. Her arms wrapped around her older brother then, clasping together at the back of his neck, her legs wrapped around his torso as best she could, considering her legs were tiny and short, and her feet were injured.

The cool breeze hit her then, the smell of the trees and garden around then, and Sakura breathed a shaky sigh of relief as she finally noted she was free from the dreaded highchair. Though she would eventually have to go back in it for dinner. _But that was fine, she just had to deal with it like an adult._ Though an adult wouldn’t have been in a damned highchair in the first place. Sakura scowled at that thought.

“Little sister,” Leithedir spoke then, seating himself down on the little arbour bench situated half way down the long garden, in the second half of the garden, cut from the sight of the house by a relatively tall – at least for herself – fence and gate, the latter of which she had only so recently been allowed to venture through. It was free from the clutter and mess of toys which both she and her twin had access to in the half of the garden closer to the house. Sakura supposed it was the ‘adult’ half of the garden, a place meant to encourage relaxation rather than play. There was even a little pond, ringed with neat slabs of pale white rock. The water was clear, and Sakura could just about make out the fish swimming around within its depths as she was settled on her brother’s lap. “I feel as though, perhaps, this is a conversation only the two of us should share at this current moment in time… what with me being the one likeliest to understand your situation if it is what I believe it to be,” he said, stroking at her petal pink locks then, and Sakura could only cast her gaze over to where some of her namesake grew. “If you had only thrown a tantrum and not…” Leithedir trailed off then, looking oddly pained. “Berenloth, are you well now?” Grey eyes fixed upon her, so very concerned and cutting.

Sakura nodded, hating the trembles which lingered in her limbs. _It had been six years and a bit since her death, she should have been done freaking out over it._ Her fingers crinkled in her brother’s shirt. _Well, if you hadn’t been so busy repressing the memories and any thought of it,_ the snide voice of herself muttered in the back of her head. Death would have come for her inevitably in that world before. She had been human. Mortal. _It was just the rebirth aspect of that which had thrown her for a loop._

“I do hate to reiterate that which the one you seem most aggrieved by said, little sister – but I am no reader of thoughts. I cannot tell that which you are thinking, and nor can any of our other brothers,” he said, staring down at her levelly then, and Sakura only blinked up at him, dark emotions swirling in her belly. “Will you not tell me with your words sister?” he asked, and something heavy decided to weigh down her gut. “You were far too panicked at the end of dinner, and that was no mere temper tantrum,” he continued, smoothing her hair down. “I have seen such symptoms before – and they relate to ailments of the mind… Of course we could ask for Duinenor,” Leithedir mumbled, looking oddly wistful all of a sudden. “Or perhaps another healer more skilled with issues of the mind…”

“No!” her voice wavered as she all but shouted the word.

“Berenloth?” Leithedir looked at her questioningly, and Sakura bit her trembling lip. “Why do you refuse to ask for help when you so clearly need it?” _Because she thought she was meant to be an adult._ Adult shinobi had to figure things out on their own. It was the natural way of things.

But she wasn’t a shinobi anymore. _So why do you cling to that mindset?_ part of her asked. Sakura didn’t have an answer. _After all, it was hard pressed to let go of instincts she had clung to. Instincts which had kept her alive. Unspoken rules to be followed without question._ Her shoulders slumped, tears biting at the corners of her eyes as she tried to put together some sort of answer which would make any sense to her brother’s ears.

She couldn’t think of one.

“You can ask, you know… and then perhaps you can… begin to heal from that which it is you suffer from,” he murmured, fingers brushing away the tears which fell down over her cheeks thick and hot. “None of us like to watch you suffer…” A frown marred his too-pretty brow, and guilt and shame ate at her.

“But I…” her voice failed her for a moment, thoughts taking just a little too long to be voiced. It was a foreign thing to do for her. _Exposing her innermost thoughts meant revealing possible weakness._ “I am just a child… and children are not meant to have such traumas here… and… and… I do not wish to be thought of as strange – unnatural! Everyone already admits I am strange… I just want to be normal!”

Leithedir was silent for a while then, and Sakura couldn’t bear to look up at him, an unholy terror swirling in her belly at the thought of weakness and the mistake she had made. _Mistakes got people killed._ “Look at me.” A hand grasped at her chin then, forcibly turning her face then, her vision blurry with tears as she stared up at her brother. “You are not unnatural. You are strange, yes – that I cannot deny – but then again we are all strange in our own way, and we love you for it, dearest little sister.”

Her stomach twisted, part of her whispering _lies, lies, lies, because how could they love a little cuckoo?_ “Promise?” she found herself asking, her voice terribly small, thoughts surging back to Eithion and his own reassurances for her being… strange and yet loved.

_“I’ll bring him back – I promise!”_ Whiskered cheeks stretched in a grin, and Naruto had always strived to keep his promises. _Even if it meant death – or would have if she hadn’t—_

Sakura shivered, but the warm grey eyes staring down at her only helped to push away the memory. “This I swear to you,” Leithedir murmured, thumb brushing the skin underneath her eye, “no matter what happens now and in the future, I will always love you… and though I can only swear for myself, I can guarantee you all of our siblings, perhaps excluding Maethon for his age, will happily make the same vow to you.”

“Vows can be broken,” Sakura muttered, wondering what part of her was so insistent on not believing in others… _when a certain blonde had taught her otherwise… proven that she could put her trust in at least one person._ But that was it – one person. She didn’t know how to trust many more than that.

“No, little sister,” Leithedir said then. “They cannot. The powers that be will hear the words I vow if I invoke the correct names, and I will forever be urged, however mildly, to heed the promise I made, such as it should be.”

She swallowed then, her throat terribly dry all of a sudden. _It would give an odd assurance, if his words were indeed true… but some part of her didn’t like the idea of him being forced into doing such a thing._

“Though if that is not enough,” Leithedir said, his voice becoming terribly quiet all of a sudden, “then I can swear an Oath for you. One invoking the name of Eru…”

“Watch your words,” Lithuidor’s sharp voice rang out, cutting through the eerily thick silence which had fallen for but a single moment. He emerged from the shadows of the fence, tall and looming as he stared down at the both of them, heedless of the cocktail of emotions he brought forth from her. _He was the one who had trapped her, and she had a disliking for him at that moment in time because of that_. “Or do you not recall what happened the last time seven siblings swore such an Oath?”

“Well, there would be at most six, given the objective of such an oath would be centred around the seventh,” Leithedir drawled, a sly smile blooming on his lips.

“I will not have any more comparisons drawn between us and the Feanorions,” Lithuidor hissed. “We already have the same number of siblings, and the same number and order of births… Such comparisons are bad enough when we venture to Mithlond… but should anyone catch wind that we have made an Oath too.” Her eldest brother shook his head. “No good would come of such a thing.”

“If it makes Berenloth happier…” Leithedir trailed off.

Lithuidor’s shoulders slumped right then and there, voice sounding so very helpless when he next spoke. “Then we would do it, consequences be damned…” he murmured, running a hand through his dark locks then. “What say you, sister?” her eldest brother asked, grey eyes staring into her green ones, so very stern and piercing then. “Would you allow us to call a healer for you? Would you prefer a vow, or perhaps an Oath for us to never stop loving you no matter what? Or is there perhaps another option…? Say, perhaps, you use your words to tell us why being placed in a highchair makes you show such a panicked expression?”

Her lips trembled, hands shaking then as she wondered how she was supposed to tell them—“Being trapped means death,” she said, brain to mouth filter completely obliterated it seemed. _But maybe that worked in her favour?_

Lithuidor winced then.

Leithedir sighed ever so softly. “No doubt you will not tell us of how that thought came to be stuck in your head,” he grumbled. “Well, if what Eithion said has any merit.”

“He would not lie,” Lithuidor said, and her brother could only incline his head in agreement.

“Which means the only item left on the agenda is to figure out how to limit this feeling of entrapment of yours whilst retaining an acceptable level of supervision and discipline,” Leithedir said, humming in contemplation as he looked down at her once more. “If…” he spoke then, chewing on his lip in thought. “If elder brother consents, and even mayhap if he does not, then perhaps, should this feeling of entrapment grow too strong – strong enough to trigger an… episode… then twice a week, either myself or another of your brothers will take you out of the house and for a walk… perhaps by the sea, given you seem to like it so?”

“She is _grounded,_ Leithedir,” Lithuidor hissed. “It is a punishment – one which cannot be relented, lest our little sister get it into her head that pulling such stunts goes unpunished.”

Leithedir turned on him with a snarl. “So you would rather suffer our sister to go cold and unresponsive again and again?”

“Berenloth stays here, because Berenloth is grounded,” Lithuidor said, jabbing a finger his way. “She also stays here because it is safe and protected, more so than the forest and other places, and she _is not_ to leave without my express permission.” He turned on his heel then. “I will hear no more on this matter. Bring yourselves in once you have both calmed down.”

The gate swung open and closed with a loud clatter, telling of her eldest brother’s terrible mood, and Sakura only sniffled. “Well,” her brother said, sighing then once again. “That went well.”

Despite herself, Sakura laughed at that, the sound short and sharp.

“It would seem elder brother does not quite like compromise…” Leithedir said then, and Sakura could only blink as she soon found herself situated on his shoulders. “No matter. There is a reason our mother named me Leithedir, and that is because I hate seeing myself and others trapped… even if it is a cage wrought from the very best of intentions.” He looked up at her as best he could right then. “If you wish to venture out tomorrow as well, then do let me know – and then two times from each Orgilion to Orbelain.” His lips thinned then, expression stern. “But know this, little sister, should you abuse this privilege I am giving to you because of your apparent circumstances, then I will no longer allow you to venture out such as this.”

Her brother pushed aside a grouping of loose slats then, revealing a gap in the fencing bordering the garden, and Sakura felt a rush of excitement and relief run through her at the sight of the forest beyond.

“Let us be on our way,” he said then, and Sakura hummed eagerly, clinging to her brother’s head and shoulders then with her tiny limbs. “Lest we run into a certain brother who will be all too eager to stop us in our tracks.

A smile settled on her face. “Thank you, brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Leithedir, if the rough translation of his name didn't give it away (because it's his mother name, and she named him by what she saw as he grew up) is the reckless wild-child of the family who has a tendency to break the rules. (Though Sakura may or may not take that title away from him once she grows up a bit - who knows?) He's the wonderful rebellious one, if this chapter didn't give that one away.
> 
> Nardhion just does sh*t to annoy Lithuidor.


	7. The Freedom

Sea breeze whipped over her skin, making her shiver for but a moment before she found herself wrapped snuggly up in her brother’s cloak as they sat where sand met grass. She didn’t mind it then – being wrapped up in something warm and cosy. It didn’t feel trapping, nor did it give off that smothering sensation which she sometimes felt just a bit too much whenever she was back at the house. Though perhaps that was thanks to the fact she was right by the sea then and there. “A shame Nardhion did not venture out with us,” Leithedir murmured, ruffling her petal pink locks as she leant against him, unable to run off down the beach like part of her wished to. _Maybe she would have been able to, if she hadn’t cut up her feet._ But there was nothing which could be done on that front aside from waiting. “Perhaps then we might have had some music to listen to, but we can talk instead, if you wish to fill up this silence…”

Sakura frowned then, sitting up as best she could in her brother’s lap. “’s not silent,” she said, staring up at her brother, brow furrowed. “Can you not hear the singing of the sea?” she asked, humming quietly then at the softer voice singing then today. It was lighter, calmer, _feminine,_ compared to the voice upon which the storms rode. Sakura didn’t mind the calmness, even though she felt most alive when the storms came. There was just something so very electrifying about it – a way she could lose herself and her troubles when the waves beat the shore and the winds howled. _Dangerous._ She liked danger far more than she ought to. Though she supposed, perhaps it was just because she wasn’t used to the quiet, calm peacefulness which seemed to exist there in that place. Under stars so different to the ones she had once navigated.

“Mmm,” Leithedir hummed. “Perhaps you will find more in common with Nardhion once that wildness in your spirit dies away,” he murmured, sounding oddly jealous. “He loves music, and Reniedir has an awful soft spot for the lyrical arts, singing and music in particular… though perhaps that is because he does not have much talent for either of those two…”

“What does Reniedir do then?” she asked, relaxing in her brother’s grasp. “They never tell me much of what they do outside the house… I think Lithuidor might have forbade them from making more curious as to the world outside the little bubble he has me living in…”

“Lithuidor, huh…” Leithedir said, his hold on her tightening minutely as she stared up at him and his wistful, pained expression. “You must forgive him, little sister… he is… clingy, I suppose, after what happened with—”

Sakura frowned harder as her brother cut off halfway through his sentence, face drawn into one of worry, remorse, and regret. “After what happened with what?” she asked, earlier question forgotten in favour of the new mystery which had seemingly presented itself at her feet.

“You were asking of Reniedir and what he does outside of this house, you said,” her brother declared, a smile set upon his face as he ploughed on, oblivious to her withering stare. _Because who in the name of the Valier did he think he was fooling with that? A child?_ Sakura scowled, that little reminder coming to bite her then. _You are a child._ The proof was in every reflective surface she looked, as well as the rest of her tiny little body she could see. “Well, brother Reniedir is a painter, as well as a scholar – his colleagues in Mithlond love him far too much, what with his strict work ethic… Truly you are quite fortunate to never see that side of him. He is rather strict when in the midst of his work.”

“Reniedir? Strict?” she asked, realising her mistake too late as Leithedir smiled in satisfaction at having changed topics from where she had wanted to go.

“You would not think that, would you?” he murmured, smiling fondly. “He is very… soft, I think is the best way to put it, around his family. He is harsher on himself and others at work, and I think the both of us should be very grateful for this,” Leithedir said, chuckling under his breath. “I think Lithuidor is strict enough for us all…”

“What happened to make him that way?” Sakura asked, eyes locking on her brother’s grey ones as she sought the answers she wanted. It was fairly obvious _something_ had happened, if the clues which had been dropped were anything to go by.

“Sister, that is a tale for when you are—”

Her eyes narrowed. “Does it have anything to do with Glasdil?” she asked, knowing she was right in her guess the instant Leithedir sucked in a sharp breath. _Really, they were making things too easy…_ Then again, she had been a shinobi before. Information had been one of their trades. Something which had kept them alive, and— _Sakura did not want to muse on the life behind her._ It was behind her. That was a fact she needed to get into her head if she wanted to _live_ there and then.

“Where did you hear that name?” he questioned, voice losing its once playful edge which had always been there whenever he spoke with her.

She swallowed, throat suddenly feeling dry. “I… When I listened to your conversation _that_ night,” she mumbled, shoulders shaking somewhat then, until Leithedir sighed ever so softly and pulled her closer. “Is it wrong of me – to want to know what happened in our family?”

“It is not a pleasant tale, little sister,” Leithedir said, closing his eyes then, limbs trembling ever so slightly. “It certainly is not a tale meant for little ears, and I am fairly certain I would meet my doom via Lithuidor should I tell you such a story…”

“Because it ends with death?”

Leithedir sucked in a sharp breath once more, grey eyes snapping open to find her green ones in an instant. “Why would you think such a thing? You were not fully conscious when mother passed, nor were you old enough to realise such a thing… you still should not be old enough to talk of such things,” he murmured, tears building in his eyes as he stared down at her, fear and confusion written on his face. _Fear for her,_ she realised dumbly. He was bigger than her. He would hardly be fearful of her. _After all, they loved her so._ Sakura quashed the doubts which whispered that _they didn’t love the strange little cuckoo which had fallen into their nest._

Sakura looked away, hating the fingers which brushed against her skin. _As though they could peel away the façade she wore and reveal the strange little creature which she was underneath._ “You made it obvious,” she said, frowning and continuing to look away from the tearful expression which made her feel horribly guilty. “Nobody talks of Glasdil like they were merely severely injured… in fact, you never speak of them at all… and then there is the fact that you are all so reluctant to tell us tales of death and despair. I might be young, but I am hardly stupid,” she continued, folding her arms beneath the cloak she was wrapped up within. “Glasdil is dead. The only thing I am unsure as is _how_ they are related to the situation.”

Her brother sighed, fingers carded in her pink locks. “You… Why is it you sometimes seem so very learned beyond your years, Berenloth?” he murmured, looking oddly pained. Sakura’s stomach hurt, guilt swirling within. “Is it so wrong of me to want to preserve your innocence and ignorance to all things bloodied and dark?”

A burst of laughter escaped her then, and she sat up, almost doubling over at the thought of having her innocence preserved. _What innocence?_ “You are fighting a losing battle,” Sakura whispered, not quite willing to tell him it was a battle they never could have won. It was a battle which had been fought and lost already, though not for all their lack of trying. She had lost her innocence to the wiles of war and death before she had even taken her first breath in that world. “Besides, since I am but a little mature for my age, will you not tell me? I will accept full responsibility should I have nightmares about this,” she remarked, staring up pleadingly at her brother. _She doubted merely speaking of death would give her worse nightmares than the ones she occasionally had regarding having seen death and destruction in her life before._

She wasn’t expecting him to burst out laughing too. A finger poked at her cheek, air escaping her in a loud huff then at the motion. “A little mature for your age?” he repeated, smiling teasingly. “Sister, sister, darling little sister, do you not remember who threw a tantrum this very morning and had to be sent off for a nap?” Leithedir teased, and Sakura could only puff up her chest and huff as she glared up at her brother then.

“You are not funny,” she declared, looking away from him then, refusing to torment herself further by watching her brother’s amusement at her own expense. Being forced to take a nap wasn’t something she was used to. Agreeing to have a nap because she was tired was a different game entirely.

“Come now, little sister,” Leithedir said, poking at her cheek again then. “It was quite terribly amusing to see porridge dripping down Lithuidor’s face. You even got some in his hair!” he exclaimed, a smile still on his face, and Sakura felt another lashing of guilt come around to bite. _Because she had bitten him, made him hurt, and yet he could still smile and laugh with her._ She hadn’t even apologised to him. “Though I must advise you never to throw food again, no matter how much entertainment both myself and Nardhion might have received. We can settle things through talking, rather than throwing food, yes?”

Sakura bit her lip, looking down at her toes in shame. _How hard was it to say a simple apology?_ Her pride flared, but she squashed it down and away. _She had been in the wrong in her reactions to being trapped at the very least, if not the feeling itself because she could hardly be blamed for her natural instincts, and it was about time she acknowledged the former._ “I am sorry,” she mumbled then, the words sounding so very awkward coming from her lips. _Pride really liked to come and bite her in the backside sometimes._

Leithedir blinked, looking terribly surprised then, and the look was like a punch to the gut – the fact that he hadn’t seemed to be expecting her to apologise. _He thought her incapable of doing that much._ “Berenloth?” Grey eyes looked down at her, tinged with a confusion which made annoyance simmer in her belly.

“For biting you!” Sakura grumbled, shifting awkwardly in her brother’s lap then, determinedly not looking at those grey eyes which always somehow managed to cut into her like knives. _Oh how she wished she could run away and vanish…_ “I am sorry for biting you. I should not have done it…”

A smile bloomed on her older brother’s face then, wide and wonderful. “Thank you, Berenloth,” he said, fingers running over her reddening cheek. Sakura was only grateful Leithedir wasn’t teasing her for it. He was definitely the type to.

“But I still wish to know what became of Glasdil,” she stated, not having forgotten the topic her older brother was skirting about so very carefully. Leithedir’s shoulder sunk, a sigh escaping him. “Otherwise I fear I shall imagine the worst – which might very well be worse than the truth,” she said, knowing by now that if she wanted her brother’s to even consider something before refusing, then she needed a carefully thought out argument for her way. She was merely a wilful child in their eyes, and she doubted that view would change anytime soon. _What with her still having ninety four years, or there abouts, until adulthood._

“Glasdil—”

“Please tell me you are not speaking to her of _that,_ ” the familiar voice rolled out through the air, and Sakura adjusted herself until she was peering over her brother’s shoulder to spy another of them there – walking out from underneath the lengthening shadows of the trees. Sakura almost jolted, realising that she and Leithedir had to have been on the shores for quite a while by that point. The sun was low on the horizon, the waters of the sea glistening amber in its light, and it had only been a little after lunch when she and her brother had left the _safety_ of their home.

“She has pieced most of it together by herself,” Leithedir said, looking towards the sea and the setting sun beyond. “Why should I not stop her from thinking the worst?” he asked, staring solemnly at where the seas met the shore. “Surely it is kinder that way… given our dear little sister might be thinking of some rather horrific things. She knows Glasdil is dead, Reniedir, and believe it or not, I needed not to tell her. Only confirm her own suspicions with my reactions,” he murmured, sounding so very tired right then and there.

“I want to know,” Sakura hissed, folding her arms then.

Reniedir’s eyes narrowed. “Children do not always get that what they wish for so,” he said, drifting over to join them sitting where shore met grassland. “Sometimes for their own good.”

Sakura gritted her teeth, biting down on everything she wanted to scream at her brother right then and there. “They died painfully, did they not?” she spoke, glaring at her second oldest brother right there and then. “The only thing I do not understand is how Glasdil is related to everything… it is obvious they were a member of the family, and they are dead, obviously enough, and now all I am asking is for you to give some closure to this burning sense of curiosity within me.” Sakura huffed, sitting as primly as she could within her brother’s lap because she was _dying_ to know the answers. “I am hardly as carefree and unobservant as Maethon,” she grumbled, folding her arms then.

Her older brother sighed then. “Sometimes I wish you were,” Reniedir murmured, reaching out to snatch her from Leithedir’s lap, shrugging when the ellon in question shot him a glare. “What?” Reniedir asked, tilting his head as he settled her atop his lap. “You have spent hours with her – learn to share.”

“Glasdil was their son, you know,” Leithedir said suddenly, ignoring the hissing intake of breath from Reniedir. “Lithuidor’s and Glawil’s. He would have been your nephew if he had lived,” he continued, expression so very cold and distant, hands clenching into fists. “They did not always live here on the outskirts of Forlond. They lived closer inland… and it is more dangerous closer inland, closer to the borders of this elven realm… not that they appreciated that back then.”

“Brother was a Captain of the Guard there,” Reniedir took over, adjusting his hold on her then. “Glawil was a tailor, and they were happy. Along came Glasdil, and they loved him so,” he said, voice wobbling then, and Leithedir only clenched his fists and looked at the sun – as though it would hide the tears forming in his eyes. Guilt ate at her. _But she wanted to know._ She _had_ to know how the tale went, if only because of what Nardhion had said _that_ night.

“He was only thirty-three,” Leithedir whispered, rubbing at his face with one hand voice losing that choked edge as he continued speaking. “Just before his growing spurt – before Glawil even gave him a mother-name,” he mumbled, voice filled to the brim with sorrow for what could have been. _He hadn’t even been fully grown,_ Sakura mused, something wretched and miserable welling up within her then even as Leithedir ploughed on despite the pain in his voice. “Glasdil, you see, was a bit mischievous. I think one has to be with a name meaning joy-friend. He loved exploring, and Glawil and Lithuidor were happy to let him run about the garden on his own…” Sakura’s stomach twisted, and she hugged her knees to her chest, because she didn’t like where it was going. _Didn’t like the odd similarities between what Glasdil had done to what she wanted to do – what Lithuidor prevented her from doing._ “He snuck out from the garden one day while Glawil was busy indoors… perhaps had it been any other day, he would have been fine… he might have been found hours later, scared but safe and well… but it was that day when a pack of orcs slipped passed Lithuidor’s patrol—I do not think he has ever forgiven himself to this day… nor have I…”

“They found him in the forest. _Orcs,_ ” Reniedir said, resting a hand on Leithedir’s shoulder as his eyes grew that much more distant. “Let us say this – of all the races there are in this world, orcs despise elves the most – they were bred to… and so upon finding an elf child in the woods…”

“They _tortured_ him,” Leithedir spat, hands clenching in the sands. “I will _never_ forgive them. Not after…”

“ _Tortured_?” Sakura repeated hesitantly, the word unfamiliar to her. _But she had a good fucking guess at its meaning._ “Does that mean to inflict harm upon someone? Intentionally? Like ripping off their fingernails?”

Reniedir shuddered, pressing his chin against her fluffy pink locks as he held her atop his lap. “I do not feel I wish to know that which goes on in your head,” he murmured. “For you to be able to come up with a method of torture like so…” he trailed off, and Sakura felt guilt eat at her once more.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

Her brother sighed, breath hot on her head. “Do not apologise. You have done nothing wrong,” he said, closing his eyes even as Sakura leant her head back to stare up at him. “I guess I am but a little squeamish.”

“They tore off his fingers,” Leithedir said softly. “With their teeth. I found all five of them when I slit open their bellies… He died in agony. It was all over his face, even lax as it was in death… and we were not quick enough to save him,” he muttered, teeth biting down into his lip, hard enough for him to bleed.

Reniedir scowled at him. “You do not need to go into such detail! She only needs to know the bare bones of what happened!” he hissed. “Berenloth is a child, no matter her words – this is the stuff of nightmares!”

“Believe me, brother,” Leithedir muttered bitterly. “I have not gone into even half of the detail, nor half of the harm that was inflicted upon our beloved nephew that day.”

Sakura wondered how her brother would react if he knew she had spent seventeen years in a world which might as well have been the personification of such a nightmare. Death, battle, and torture had all been common worries of the residents of the Elemental Nations, particularly those of the shinobi class. _She had seen worse in the war._ But what happened to Glasdil hadn’t been a result of a war. Rather it made her feel sick, if only because the orcs were _bred_ to despise elves themselves and they had taken it out on an innocent child. _And she was an elf-child now, though admittedly not an innocent one._

“Leithedir and Lithuidor were the ones to find his body, which is why the both of them are so very affected by this. More than the rest of us, that is,” Reniedir murmured softly, pressing a kiss to her petal pink locks as a comfort of sorts. “But know this dear sister,” he said, closing his eyes as Leithedir pointedly looked off into the distance, his attention seemingly miles away as their older brother spoke. “While Leithedir might be the one to openly profess his hatred for orcs – it is Lithuidor who despises them the most. His hatred runs deep like the ocean, steady and unchanging in its nature, and his need to protect the family he has remaining… well, it only grew worse after mother and father passed…”

“Eithion was born soon after what became of our dear nephew, and Lithuidor forced all of us to move here because it is safer here undoubtedly, what with this place being very far into the realm of Lindon,” Leithedir said, settling back on his hands to stare at the sun venomously as though it were the cause of Glasdil’s demise. It wasn’t, but Sakura certainly wouldn’t want to switch places with the sun because her brother’s glare was oddly terrifying. “You can ask him, you know, if you ever feel yourself struggling within this cage of the best intentions Lithuidor has wrought for you and Maethon both,” he continued. “Eithion, that is. You and Maethon are not the only two to grow up under Lithuidor’s ideal of protection… though it has grown perhaps just a slight bit worse after our parents passed…”

There was a prevalent pause before the older of them spoke once more, having come to a decision in regards to their discussion right then and there. “That, I think, is all you need to know of Glasdil, dearest sister,” Reniedir mumbled, sorrow written on his face, and it took for him to brush a finger underneath one of her eyes to realise that she was crying. _Crying for the nephew she could have had._ The nephew she would have had if not for orcs. _If Lithuidor had been as overprotective then as he was now._ But he hadn’t been. _And he had paid the price. Glasdil had paid the price – for not having the same smothering overprotectiveness layered on top of him._ She sniffled then, and Reniedir frowned, making her feel guilty _yet again_ because she was the one who had brought about such a topic. _It was her fault they were all now sad – all because of her big mouth, big curiosity, and big need to know anything and absolutely everything._

Underneath that sadness she felt though, there was an emotion she was all too familiar with in that tiny form of hers. Anger. _Rage._ “I think I hate orcs,” she said, feeling oddly numb. Part of her wished she had never asked about Glasdil, but she knew the ideas would have kept her up at night – ideas which would have grown progressively worse until curiosity and the need to know ate her alive. _Including ideas of the possibility that her nephew had been tortured to death for simply being an elf, but at least she had such confirmation._ There had been no higher reason to it. No justification, if ever there was such a thing for the death of a child. Not from what her brothers were saying.

“Good,” Leithedir muttered bitterly.

Sakura reached over with Reniedir’s help to pat him on the shoulder, wracking her brains for something comforting to say. “We can stab orcs together!” she exclaimed, wanting to punch herself in the face seconds later at Reniedir’s wide-eyed expression at her words. The silence that fell for a few minutes was the most hair-raising and nerve-wracking, and Sakura despaired at the odd foot-in-mouth syndrome she’d seemed to have had ever since she was born there.

_A curse of being born of a different, far more violent world originally and being just a bit older on the inside than her mere six years there suggested._

Leithedir stared at her, and the grin on her face. A snort escaped him, face losing most of that sad edge as a hand went to ruffle in her hair. “I would rather keep you far, far away from orcs, little sister,” he murmured. “But thank you for the offer.”

“Why,” a familiar voice resounded, its owner stepping from the shadows of the trees as Reniedir had done a while before, “is Berenloth crying?” Lithuidor demanded, arms folded as he strode towards them quickly. “And why is it, Reniedir, you ignored my orders to bring the both of them back, dragging them by the ankles if necessary?”

Sakura stared at her eldest brother then, mixed emotions swirling in her gut. Because beyond the annoyance she felt for him, and beyond the annoyance all on his face right then and there in that instant, there was worry and concern. _And now she knew where it originated from._ Guilt twisted like a knife in her gut, and Sakura looked away from Lithuidor then. Something which proved to be a mistake, because she didn’t see the hands which reached down and snatched her up and away from Reniedir.

“We,” Lithuidor declared, “are going home.”

Leithedir stuck out his tongue. “Spoilsport.”

“Hardly,” Reniedir muttered behind them, even as Lithuidor carried her away. She didn’t quite mind it. She’s had her breath of fresh, sea air, listened to the sweet song on the winds which had faded away, the ocean becoming stiller and more quiet. _Sakura didn’t quite like the ocean when it was quiet._ She liked it wild – when the waves were big enough to sweep her feet away from under her and take her out to sea. She didn’t quite know why she felt that way. _Probably something to do with having grown up in violence and blood in the Elemental Nations._ It was so very hard to let go of the past. “He did let you stay here for hours before he wrangled out the search and retrieval team,” Reniedir informed him, and her, albeit it was probably just because of her really rather sharp ears.

Smiling, Sakura let her head flop against Lithuidor’s chest, green eyes gazing up at her brother. “Sorry,” she mumbled, the word so very quiet amidst everything else. Grey eyes flickered down to her even as long strides ate up the distance between the shores and their home. “For saying that I hate you…”

Lithuidor smiled. “Thank you, Berenloth,” he said, hand coming to smooth down her petal pink locks, and Sakura leant into the touch with a soft sigh. “Though by now you and Leithedir have eaten away at your daylight – dinner awaits, and then it is straight to bed with you.” He held her slightly tighter, pressing her into his chest that much more. “Not another minute out of my sight.”

Sakura tilted her head. “Am I sleeping with you and Glawil tonight then?” she asked, wondering whether it was irritation or acceptance of Lithuidor’s clinginess which was broiling in her belly right then and there.

“Yes,” her brother said, and just like that Sakura knew there would be no changing of mind right then and there. Lithuidor was stubborn. Sakura wondered why she was only just realising it. “Though I do believe tomorrow either Reniedir or Nardhion will be monopolising you so. Nardhion, at the very least,” Lithuidor said, sighing in stubborn exasperation – as he always did when Nardhion was generally involved, “was complaining of me and Leithedir stealing you away.”

“Nardhion _always_ complains when you are involved though,” Sakura said matter-of-factly.

Lithuidor hummed. “Indeed,” he stated. “My dear little brother does, but that is Nardhion for you… I have grown quite used to it by this point in time.”

The hairs on the back of her neck pricked then, and she became well aware that the Nardhion-Lithuidor ongoing grudge or rivalry was a dangerous topic for discussion because she was meant to be a neutral party. “What is for dinner tonight? Fish?”

“You would be correct,” Lithuidor said. “Caleniel went down to the market to procure some fresh ingredients. We are lucky to live by the coast, otherwise I doubt we would be able to have as much fish as we do.”

Sakura nodded in agreement. “What is the market like?” she asked, still curious about the harbourside town she had grown up next to.

Lithuidor glanced down at her. “Do you wish to visit it perhaps?” he queried, tilting his head, and Sakura wondered if he was considering the possibility of letting her outside and then nodded vigorously. “Once you have passed ten years, I will permit for you to venture there with some of us,” he said, nodding to himself then. “Though you will most definitely have to hold onto our hands.”

Sakura grimaced, and Lithuidor frowned down at her.

“The market is a busy place, Berenloth, and I do not wish to lose you – I will not lose you,” he corrected, closing his eyes for the barest of seconds as he exhaled loudly. “Come,” he said, speed walking the last distance between them and their home. “Nardhion and Eithion are eager to see you. More so after the events of lunchtime.” Sakura winced at the reminder of the awful events of lunchtime, even as she was carried back into the house and promptly snatched away to be fussed over by her shortest, silvery-haired brother. _Well, the shortest one who wouldn’t be getting any taller, that was_.

The highchair awaited her at dinner too, and she sat there obediently until she finished her dinner, squirming in her seat by the time Lithuidor removed her from the contraption she _hated_ with an overwhelming urge. The fact she had resigned herself to behaving and sitting in it didn’t quite quash the almost irresistible desire to smash the chair into itty bitty pieces and burn it on a pyre. Though the fact Leithedir had sat close by, rubbing at her arm occasionally had helped somewhat. _What a childish thing to be comforted by._ Sakura smiled tightly at the thought, confusion weighing upon her still about that which she was meant to be – instincts of ages of mortal seventeen and elven six warring within her.

She didn’t know if they would ever stop. But she certainly hoped they would, if only to make her life slightly less confusing than it already was.

Then it was off to bed, even though Maethon got to stay up a bit later and play with Dagnis and Eithion. A consequence of him not running of with Leithedir when Lithuidor expressly told them not to, or so Lithuidor had declared before helping her get ready for bed. _Like a child,_ some part of her mind taunted.

Sakura ignored it, cuddling her knees to her chest as Lithuidor climbed into bed, Glawil joining them slightly later, and Sakura snuggled closer to her brother – the weight of all that which she had learnt pressing down upon her. Fingers creased in his nightwear, tears biting at the corners of her eyes. The silence felt eerie, and Sakura rather wanted to make it go away, though the sound of her brother’s heartbeat wasn’t doing just that.

“I am sorry,” she mumbled then. “About Glasdil,” she continued, blinking as her eldest brother stiffened then, grey eyes peering down to find her own.

Lithuidor sighed. “So that is the sad story they told you,” he whispered, raking his dark locks back from his face with a loud sigh. “They should not have told you…”

Sakura huffed. “I am glad they did!” she declared.

Her brother sighed yet again. “I am not about to argue with you on this, Berenloth,” her brother grumbled. “The both of them will be lectured on age-appropriate stories on the morrow.” His grasp upon her tightened then, and Sakura could only pout, her cheek smooshed against her brother’s chest. “It was a good decision to bring you here. Now, if you have a nightmare, please do not worry about waking either of us.”

“Do you miss him?” Sakura found herself asking, foot-in-mouth syndrome rearing its ugly head once more, and she couldn’t quite bash her head against anything, what with being tightly held to her brother’s chest.

“Every day,” Glawil answered from behind her, having shifted over to better smother her between them. _Sakura found that, oddly enough, she didn’t mind it that night._ “It hurts to know that he is likely growing up without us now.”

Sakura blinked. “But is he not dead?” she asked, wondering _how_ he could be growing when Glasdil was _dead._

“Sister, has no one told you what happens to those who die here?” Lithuidor asked, frowning down at her. “I assumed one of the others had told you, given your uncanny knowledge of things dark and dreary at times… but I suppose not… Glasdil was but a child when he died, and they are always, unquestionably pulled to the Halls of Mandos – the halls of Námo, the Vala who judges the dead. Since he was but a child, despite his violent death, he would have been re-embodied rather swiftly…”

Sakura blinked again, brain struggling to process that information. “So death is not permanent?” she asked, the question sounding like it was coming from so very far away.

Lithuidor smiled, pain lining the curve of his lips. “No, sister,” he said. “It is our choice to venture to answer the call to the Halls of Mandos should we perish in these lands, and it is our choice to be re-embodied or to dwell longer within those halls… but death is not permanent to the eldar the same way it is to mortals.”

“Oh.”


	8. The Town

It was a sunny summer’s day when they received the news. Laer, was what the season was called in Sindarin, and it was far shorter than the season Sakura had once known so very long ago. There were only seventy-two days to summer, and it was on the forty-fifth day that another life was welcomed into the world. The news had come in a hurry, delivered by an ellon called Thinnor – the apprentice of Duinenor, the stern ellon who had treated her feet all those months ago – and Sakura got to witness what a very flustered Eithion looked like as the news that Dagnis had gone into labour reached them. From there on in, Sakura could only describe the situation as pandemonium. “Calm yourself, brother,” Leithedir said, trying to calm down their panicked, worried brother. “You have time – plenty of time to collect yourself and go to your wife’s side.”

“He is correct,” Glawil reiterated, looking oddly longing and wistful at the scene before her. _Sakura knew the reason for that now, and her heart ached somewhat as she thought of her dead-yet-not-actually-dead nephew._ Sakura was still trying to unpack the fact that _elves didn’t stay dead_ even after months had passed from that discovery.

_But Haruno Sakura hadn’t been an elf, and yet she hadn’t stayed dead like mortals were supposed to._ Her stomach twisted at that thought, but she quashed the worries. She was getting better at doing just that. Sakura wasn’t sure if that was something to celebrate, even as she tried to focus on the present and future over the past forever behind her. “Can I come too?” she asked, tugging on Eithion’s pant leg then, staring up at him pleadingly. She rather wanted to watch the healers at work, if only to try and understand how they mended things. _Sakura wasn’t sure if she could mend things anymore with her chakra and she hadn’t quite wanted to try what with some very overprotective brothers lurking about._

“You will have to be patient – and quiet – you cannot stress Dagnis out,” Reniedir informed her sternly, and Sakura only shuffled on her feet as she realised she was the _troublesome_ one of her and her twin. _Not that Maethon had been speaking to her much as of late, only some grunts over dinner and lunch._

“I will not stress Dagnis out,” she declared, lifting her hands in the universal ‘carry me’ position, already knowing she would not be allowed to walk there on her own, given they were headed into Forlond – to what Sakura presumed to be the hospital, or the ‘Halls of Healing’ as she had heard her brothers occasionally refer to them as. “Please, brother?” she asked, staring up at her brother pleadingly. _Something Reniedir was weak to especially._ “I wish to greet my niece or nephew…”

“She can come,” Eithion declared, and Leithedir was quick to sweep in and pick her up. Sakura supposed that was only natural, what with how close they had grown, given he was oftentimes the one to help her escape to the beach twice a week whenever she used the offer he had given her all those months ago back before her feet had healed up.

“Come,” Leithedir said, carrying her to the porch. “We ought to get your shoes on, lest you try to scamper off without them again,” he remarked, a wry grin on his lips as he teased her, laughter escaping him when she huffed and folded her arms, ears burning somewhat at the reminder of _that_ night which she rather wanted to forget, despite how sweet Eithion had been.

Her boots were tiny little things, only serving to remind her of how very small she was then and there as she pulled them on before smiling and folding her arms as she stared up at Leithedir. “Done,” she said so very matter-of-factly.

“You are ready then, I trust?” Leithedir said, picking her up only after she had nodded in agreement of that statement. “Excellent…”

Eithion came then to get his shoes on, the expression on his face caught between wonder, joy, and utter terror. Sakura found it somewhat amusing, though didn’t say a word of what she thought as her older brother bustled around the area where they all kept their shoes. His son or daughter was on their way into the world, and her family there would become just that little bit bigger. _And Sakura wouldn’t let the orcs hurt another of her family if she could help it – she wouldn’t let anything happen to the small being who would come into existence right then and there._ A frown pulled at her lips, and Sakura could only nod to herself, the ever repeating tale of Glasdil revolving around in her brain at the thought of a niece or nephew. The world she knew wasn’t as safe as she had thought. _But once, she had lived in a world which was far more unsafe._

“Nardhion has agreed to stay and watch Maethon for the time being,” Lithuidor said, sitting down to put his own boots on then, a light cloak drawn around his shoulders. “Lastriel and Glawil are staying too, though Reniedir and Caleniel will be following us at a later time…”

Sakura blinked. “Why are the others not coming?” she asked, glancing over curiously at her stubbornly way too overprotective brother.

“Duinenor does not like it when the room is cramped full of family – as it became with your and Mathon’s births, so we now have a limit on the number of family we are permitted to bring,” Lithuidor explained, reaching over to ruffle her pink locks even as she laced her small fingers together at the back of Leithedir’s neck, his arm tucked around her body and under her knees, keeping her supported there, even as they made headway for the door. “If there is anything I have learnt over the years – it is that healers are not to be trifled with, Duinenor least of all.”

“Is he _that_ scary?” she asked, frowning at her brother so. _But then again, she had faced Uchiha Madara and Ootsutsuki Kaguya and the terror they had all but radiated, so maybe that skewed her perceptions?_ She wasn’t quite normal there, loathe she admit it. _Because she wanted to be just that – normal._ Though she feared such a thing was forever out of her reach. “He seemed nice enough,” she said, dimly trying to recall the memories of meeting the stern, dark-haired healer when he had treated her feet.

Leithedir chuckled. “Just wait until you injure yourself from doing something which he classes as ‘idiotic’,” he remarked. “He was only an apprentice healer when I was an apprentice warrior, and the both of us saw much of the other,” he continued, looking oddly wistful and longing then, and Sakura could only frown up at her older brother.

“Well, had you not been so very overzealous with your training, what with trying to show off and improve faster than possible, then I doubt you would have seen as much of him as you did,” Lithuidor said matter-of-factly. “Then perhaps you might not have annoyed him as much as you did, and forever earnt yourself his dark glares.”

“Do you think I will choose a good name?” Eithion mumbled then, even as they set out on the road, his grey eyes downcast and fixed upon the gravel in front of him. “What if I name him incorrectly? What if Dagnis will think it foolish?” he muttered.

Leithedir clapped him on the back, startling him out of those spiralling thought trains. “Calm yourself, Eithion,” he ordered, and Sakura could only watch all of her brothers, mildly bemused at the sight they made. “You are meant to be the one who will support your beloved Dagnis through this birth,” he said. “You will pick a good name, I know – besides, once Dagnis names him, it is likely we will refer to him as such by his mother name…”

Sakura tilted her head then, wrinkles creasing her brow. “What is a ‘mother name’?”

There was a lull in the conversation then, all of her brothers turning to look at her then. “Has no one explained naming customs to our dear little sister?” Leithedir asked, and Lithuidor shook his head in the negative. “Though I suppose that is to be expected… Our sister certainly is a curious little one, is she not? Most other children your age would be more interested in _playing_ than of learning boring things such as naming customs,” her brother continued, the look in his eye becoming something distant and more guarded. “It will be a while yet before you can bestow a child with a mother name…” he trailed off, and Sakura could only blink before she decided to not focus on the thoughts of _motherhood._

She had died at the age of seventeen. _Had she lived…_ Sakura shook her head, erasing that thought because there was no hope in that. _Nor did she think she would fall in love again anytime soon… or at all…_ She could still hear the sounds of chirping hand of the one she had loved—

“Sister.” A warm hand patted at her cheek, and she was greeted to Leithedir’s concerned face as she came back to reality. “Sister, you do not look so well,” Leithedir said, lips thinned and pulled down in a frown.

“Perhaps you ought to take her—”

“No!” Sakura cried, folding her arms then. “I want to greet my niece or nephew once they have come into this world!”

“Berenloth,” Lithuidor said sharply, making her mouth click shut with a light pop. “If you are not well, then you should be at home resting and getting better—”

“I am _fine,_ ” Sakura grumbled. “I have no fever and no injuries. I was merely lost in thought for a moment. Nothing to lose your heads over.”

“You were asking about names, yes?” Eithion spoke then, interrupting the budding argument _and saving her from the overprotective and overattentive ministrations of her eldest brother._ “Well, you have the father-name which is given at birth, and then the mother name which is often called ‘the mother name of insight’ which is given as the child grows and oftentimes as their personality becomes more apparent,” Eithion explained, looking focused then, and Sakura had the distinct impression he was speaking that much to hide his nervousness at his child’s impending birth as they continued walking down the trail towards where Sakura knew Forlond awaited them. “Only those close to one another, such as family or very close friends, tend to call each other by their mother name – more so if they have a different name they prefer to go by. Once you reach your hundredth birthday, dear sister, you will be able to choose the name you go by to others – whether it be your mother name, your father name, or a name of your own making… or a nickname given to you by others…”

Sakura blinked, mulling over that before she realised something. “A mother name is given as they grow…?” she trailed off. “Do I not have a mother name as of yet then? Will it still be a mother name if mother is not… around to give such a name to me?” she asked, tilting her head as she stared between her three brothers then.

“You _have_ a mother name, Berenloth,” Leithedir said, closing his eyes. “Yours is but a little special, you see – for while there are mother names of insight, there are also—”

“Bernloth does not need to know of her own just yet,” Lithuidor grumbled, expression set into something tense, stern, and worried at the same time. “We hardly want to put any more foolish stunt ideas in that pretty little head of hers…”

Sakura folded her arms and glared up at her eldest brother. “Lithuidor!” she hissed, at least until Leithedir nudged her warningly. “Brother! Are you trying to take my name away from me?” she asked, changing tactics then as she stared into those narrowed grey eyes. “My name is _mine_ and I want to know it.”

“Berenloth, has anyone ever told you that you are quite demanding at times?” Eithion asked her then, some of the worry on his face dissipating into good humour. Something Leithedir quite approved of, if the soft hum in his chest was anything to go by.

“Imperious is how I would describe it,” Lithuidor said, shaking his head then. “You see, sister, your mother name is what is termed as a mother name of foresight… something much rarer than one of insight, and it oftentimes means that one has a part to play with this world,” her brother explained, shoulders sinking then. “I do not wish to burden you or Maethon with them just yet, hence why we refer to you both using your father names… we have yet to pick other names for you both as of yet, given how short of a time we have all been together…”

“Seven years,” she mumbled then, part of her almost in disbelief at how long she had been there for. _And she still hadn’t forgotten about her death._ She settled her head in the crook of Leithedir’s neck. “Is it really that short of a time?” she wondered aloud. _Then again, she had only reached seventeen before._ She would live far longer there. Part of her couldn’t wait until she had lived there for a longer period of time. _Because maybe then she would have collected her thoughts and moved on somewhat from her confused, oddly alarmed state._

She wanted to be a proper elf, however one became one. _But everyone else had been born as a proper elf, so she thought she would probably have to figure out such a thing by herself._ “Yes,” Leithedir murmured. “Seven years is such a short time – or does the fact that you have yet to grow not speak for itself?” he asked, a wry grin on his lips as outrage spread across her face. Her feet moved as best they could, jabbing her brother in the gut. _Not that he really felt such blows._

“You—You—You!” Her cheeks puffed up in rage, tiny hands curling in the pretty blue tunic her brother wore.

Leithedir laughed merrily. “You should see your face, Berenloth!” he crowed, chest rumbling with amusement. “Truly, you and Nardhion have much in common!” he declared, grinning unrepentantly down at her. “What is the matter with you not growing yet, dear sister?” he asked, smiling becoming somewhat more wistful then. “You only have one childhood… why not enjoy it…?”

Sakura sniggered, the sound so very different to the merry sounds of amusement moments before. It sounded darker, dryer, more miserable. Enough so to draw the worries of all three of her brothers then and there. _She had technically had two, what with her death and then her birth there which she doubted she would ever be able to forget._

“Sister?” Leithedir spoke, shaking her so very gently, hand coming up to pat at her back as the tears bit at the corners of her eyes. “I do wish you would tell us why you become like this so often,” he murmured, sighing softly when she fell silent, pressing her head into the crook of his neck once more.

Sakura remained quiet for a while then, only peeking out over Leithedir’s shoulder when his strides became shorter and slightly more hurried. They had set foot on a paved road by that point, the tiling of it a pale grey which almost seemed to glow somewhat in the light. Eithion was all but radiating his nervousness by that point, even as they entered Forlond proper. She sucked in a sharp breath as she took in the first proper sights of the harbourside town she had lived next to for the entirety of her life in that strange world _where elves didn’t permanently die._ She rather hoped her brain would get around that alarming fact sooner rather than later.

Forlond was a town with a large harbour, and Sakura could just make out the edges of – where the body of still-ish water lay, wherein ships would be docked. She hadn’t seen many a harbours, nor been in them in the Elemental Nations what with being able to walk over large distances on water. Though she had endeavoured to find out as much as she could from her brothers about the town beside them. _Not that they had been all too loose lipped on that front, what with always encouraging her to play rather than gather information._ Elves could be quite confusing at times. It didn’t help that she was meant to be one of them. Nevertheless, elves could _really_ build pretty things, or so she could make out from the ships as well as the general construction of the town.

“What is that?” she asked, pointing at a building she thought looked made from sandstone and wood. It had what Sakura thought to be a sign hanging down over the road, indicating its location to those walking up and down the road there.

“The bakery, dear sister,” Leithedir said. “Where we often go to pick up bread and those croissants you sometimes like for breakfast. Baraheth makes the most delectable ones around. Once you grow a little bigger I will plead with this great lug here,” he continued, gesturing at Lithuidor then, “so that we can come and eat them in town. They taste best when they have just come out of the oven, you see…”

“Oh,” Sakura mumbled, blinking as she remembered that option for breakfast, licking her lips at the thought. “And that?” she asked, pointing at another shop-alike building with a sign. _A hammer and anvil._

“One of the trusty blacksmiths who live in these parts – there are about ten in total in Forlond,” Leithedir answered.

“That many?”

“Ten is not a great amount, dear sister,” Leithedir said with a chuckle, lifting her up so she was seated on his shoulder then, despite the worried look Lithuidor gave them _before he moved to walk beside Leithedir, ready to catch her should she fall._ Sakura barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the movement. _It was so blatantly Lithuidor._ “There are a greater number in Mithlond, though that city is larger than our beloved town here. Even Harlond is slightly larger.”

“Blacksmithing is a common craft among our kinfolk, Berenloth,” Lithuidor informed her then, an arm wrapped around Eithion’s shoulders in comfort then as he looked at the ground, looking terribly nervous still. “Eithion, do you think you could point out anything to our sister?”

Eithion looked up then, looking incredibly akin to a startled cat. “Uh…” he grunted, shrugging his shoulders then and making another oddly stressed grunting sound.

“Never mind,” Leithedir quickly said.

“What is that?” she asked then, diverting the focus from their soon-to-be father, pointing at another building, cheeks flushing somewhat as her voice carried through the air, excitement _at being in the town Lithuidor had refused to take her to until she turned ten when she was only seven_ nearly overwhelming her as she squirmed atop Leithedir’s shoulder.

Soft laughter rang through the air, and Sakura grasped at the brother’s head, wrapping her arms around it and hunching down somewhat as she felt the stares of _other people_ settle on her. A pretty elleth with coppery skin, a vastly different shade to her and her brothers’ pasty white, smiled at her then, long brown hair dancing in the wind behind her. An ellon with silvery blonde hair smiled _and_ waved at her as he noticed her gaze upon him.

“Calm yourself, sister,” Lithuidor spoke, coming to land a comforting pat on the side of her arm.

Sakura shrunk down as best she could, grateful for her small size right then and there as she hugged her brother’s forehead. “Why are they staring?” she asked, refusing to loosen her grip on Leithedir as she sat there, feeling terribly on-display all of a sudden.

“Because you are a child, Berenloth,” Lithuidor explained, smiling then as he looked towards where Sakura presumed their destination to lie. “We have a dearth of them, and so the ones we do have are so very treasured.”

Blinking owlishly, Sakura tilted her head. “Oh,” she mumbled, noticing then the lack of any other children on the road. “Are there any children other than me and Maethon then?” she asked, peering down at her brother, quite enjoying her newfound height on Leithedir’s shoulder.

“Hmm.” Lithuidor’s hand went to his chin then, brow furrowing in thought as he counted out on his fingers. “Including you and Mathon there are twenty three children here in Forlond… but of them, twelve of them are over fifty, and have passed their growth milestone.” He clapped Eithion’s back then. “Though I have heard word of at least three other pregnancies, meaning there will likely be more soon.”

Sakura blinked once more. “How do you know that?”

“Because he has ears, dear sister,” Leithedir informed her tartly. “And he knows how to use them.”

She swatted him over the head, puffing up in both annoyance at her brother’s words and pride at how easy it was to complete such an action now that she was seated atop her brother’s shoulder. “Obviously,” she said, ducking her head somewhat as she realised how much attention was being directed her way. “Are we nearly there yet?” she asked, feeling terribly embarrassed all of a sudden. _She wasn’t used to being the focus of everyone’s attention._ Well, unless it was her brothers, and even then, they divided their time between her and Maethon.

“The Halls of Healing are situated in this building up ahead, Berenloth,” Lithuidor said, gesturing to the building right ahead of them. “Are you ready, Eithion?” he asked, glancing at their suddenly rather quiet brother.

Eithion nodded, and then they entered the building. Thinnor was waiting, ready to lead them inside, silvery hair swishing behind him as he hurried to lead them to where Duinenor waited, tending to Dagnis. “Three of you then,” the familiar ellon remarked, even as an elleth bustled past, making her way to another part of the Halls of Healing. “Come along,” Duinenor ordered, his tone leaving no room for argument. _Not that she would have even attempted to argue with the ellon._ He rather reminded her of Tsunade in some ways, what with the no-nonsense tone to his voice. Her heart ached and Leithedir patted her back in comfort, cradling her to his chest then.

“How is my wife?” Eithion asked, sounding terribly nervous then.

Duinenor looked at him then, grey eyes dark and cutting. “I see your wife is going to have to comfort you,” he said, guiding them to one of the unmarked rooms, opening the door for them, revealing a neat, clean room in which Eithion’s red-haired wife lay. “Ruiniel, your husband has arrived,” he remarked, and Sakura frowned at the unfamiliar name.

“Ruiniel?” she echoed, and Leithedir took pity on her confused expression with a soft sigh.

“That is her father name, dear sister, and the name she choses to go by outside of our family,” her brother explained then and there. “You remember the naming customs we told you of on our way here, do you not?” Leithedir questioned, raising an eyebrow at her as he carried her further into the room. “Dagnis is the name Eithion gave to his beloved, and she chose to let us all call her by it – though Eithion apparently makes it sound the best when they are in bed—”

“Leithedir,” Lithuidor spoke, warning lining his tone as he glared sharply at his younger brother.

Sakura smiled, feeling like a shark scenting blood in the water, even as Eithion sat by his wife’s side, taking her hand in his own. “In bed?” she echoed, tilting her head as she stared up at her brothers. “Why would him being in bed make the name sound better?” she asked, smiling innocently as she looked up at Leithedir then, eager to beat him at his own game right then and there.

“Uh, well, you see…” Leithedir said, looking pleadingly between Lithuidor and Duinenor who were both surveying the situation with very judgemental look in their eyes.

Her smile grew wider, and her brother paused in his mild flailing to glance down at her, suspicion in his eyes. “Did you not mention something about… uh, I believe you called them ‘bedroom acts’ last week?” she spoke, baring her teeth then as her brother sucked in a choked breath. “Do they have something to do with this?” she asked, batting her eyelashes innocently at her older brother then.

“Leithedir,” Lithuidor hissed, and Sakura could almost hear the growl in his voice as he glared at his brother then. “What exactly are you teaching our sister?” he snarled, looking as though he was ready to go for the throat, and Sakura climbed up to better reach her brother in order to whisper in his ear then.

“Do _not_ call me short again,” she warned, smiling serenely then as she drew back from her brother’s head.

Leithedir huffed, eyes narrowed on her as she snuggled into his arms then, smug, self-assured, and rather satisfied with her petty revenge. “Well played, sister,” he murmured. “Well played… but your forgot to take into account the fact you are currently in my arms, and I know how very ticklish you are!” he declared, and Sakura had only a moment to regret trying to one-up her brother as he went for her sides then, even as she flailed as best she could. “Do you admit defeat, dear sister?”

“Never!” she cried, laughing then, tears in her eyes as Leithedir attacked. Dimly, in the parts of her brain not occupied with trying to squirm out of her brother’s grasp, she made a note to find one of Reniedir’s quills with which to tickle her brother’s feet with. _Leithedir was rather weak in the foot area._ She giggled then, continuing to try the wrest herself from her brother’s grasp then, eyes all the while promising payback.

A throat cleared then, Duinenor looking between them with a judgemental expression Sakura was quite quickly coming to think of as being his resting face. “Might I remind you both that these are the Halls of Healing you are in, and some within these walls require peace, quiet, and calm,” he said, and Sakura felt abruptly, appropriately cowed.

“Come now,” Dagnis spoke then, cutting through the silence which had fallen so abruptly. “It is to be a joyous day – we are welcoming another into our family,” she said, smiling at Sakura then. “Let them have their fun, it is of no bother to me…”

“You are too kind,” Duinenor muttered darkly, pinching the bridge of his nose then. “However, there was a fishing accident just a while earlier down at the wharf, and five elf children were unfortunately caught up in this incident with their parents. We prioritised their treatment, but set out a room in which for them to play in while we dealt with their parents’ injuries,” he said, glancing between the three of them then, ignoring the loving couple in the background. “Their parents will be staying in overnight, and as such the children are all still there and being looked after,” he explained, focusing his gaze on her then. “How old are you, little one?”

Sakura held up seven fingers, earning an alarmed blink from the stern-faced ellon then.

“They would all be older than you then – the youngest in there is nineteen,” he said, frowning then. “I thought it had been more than seven years since I assisted with your birth, but I suppose I lose track of time far too easily these days. My wife is better at keeping track,” he murmured, oblivious to the soft sigh Leithedir gave at that. “But never mind that,” Duinenor said. “There is that option, if you do not mind your sister mingling with others… given it will be hours yet until Ruiniel gives birth. You all arrived rather promptly.” His nose twitched. “And with _less_ of you than I feared.”

“We are hardly that big of a family to warrant that reaction,” Leithedir sniffed.

Duinenor stared back at him flatly. “Leith—Osbion,” he said, voice utterly dry and bland along with being utterly clear of what he thought of her brother’s intelligence and reasoning. “You are the first family to have seven siblings since the Fëanorions _graced_ us with their _noble_ presences,” he remarked. “You are the largest family who live together on this side of the great sea,” he continued, even as Leithedir winced somewhat.

“I suppose that is… true,” her brother muttered, and Lithuidor only sighed and shook his head with a snort.

“Leave the verbal sparring to Reniedir and Nardhion, brother,” her eldest brother said then with a light chuckle. “Neither you nor myself are particularly good with it as such, and I have yet to see you come out of a battle of wits with Duinenor unscathed.”

Leithedir pouted.

“Muscle-brains,” Dagnis spoke then, voice carrying through the room. “That is what dear brother Nardhion calls us all here. All too focused on the sword to appreciate the finer aspects of life,” she said, mirth lining her tired, slightly exhausted and worried voice, and Sakura abruptly felt absolutely terrible for making a racket in her room. She crossed her arms, fidgeting awkwardly then as she sat in Leithedir’s arms still. _She liked Dagnis, possibly slightly more than Glawil and the other ellith her brothers had married._

Eithion sighed. “Just because he loathes Lithuidor and his profession…” he trailed off, huffing then, and Dagnis ran a comforting hand through his dark locks.

“Calm yourself, dear,” Dagnis said, staring at her husband then with an oddly exasperated yet fond expression on her face. “Truly, I thought you were meant to be the one calming me down,” she remarked, hand winding around Eithion’s neck, pulling him down, and Lithuidor promptly placed a hand to cover her eyes.

“Well,” Duinenor spoke, clapping his hands together. “Shall we introduce your sister to others of a similar age?”

A smile curved at her lips then, amusement at the thought of the ages of seven and nineteen being considered _similar._ Elves sometimes seemed so very odd. _You are one now,_ part of her reminded, and Sakura could only turn to her eldest brother and activate her best puppy eyes _which Lithuidor was so very immune to._ “Please?”

Lithuidor sighed then, waving a hand at Duinenor then. “Lead the way,” he ordered, worry written across his face then. “We will have to see how well Berenloth gets along with them before we make the decision…”


	9. The Children

The thought of meeting other children had her feeling both nervous and excited _because she had never met any other children besides Maethon._ Besides, she and her twin brother weren’t quite on speaking terms at that point in time for reasons Sakura had yet to work out. He was just being really huffy with her for no apparent reason, and Sakura was reasonably sure her brothers – her other, _actually_ older than her, brothers would soon be staging an intervention if things didn’t change between them. _Not that it was her fault._ Maethon was just being strange in ways she couldn’t explain. But at that point in time, she was busy pushing away thoughts on what was wrong with her twin in favour of trying not to show the nervousness or the excitement she felt. Though if the looks Lithuidor, Leithedir, and Duinenor were giving her, then she was failing rather epically on that front. _How was she supposed to greet other children? Should she try to smile more, or would that look creepy and strange?_ Nervousness circled in her gut like a shark circling prey, and Sakura only let herself be carried towards where the other children were apparently _playing._

Leithedir carried her through the corridors of the Halls of Healing, Duinenor leading the way to where the other children were playing. _And the youngest of them was nineteen._ Older than her in body, though not quite in mind. _Still, he had managed to live without dying for a longer period than her._ “You ready to meet some other children, Berenloth?” Leithedir asked her, a hand mussing her pink locks then, and Sakura knew her nervousness must have been showing.

“If you would rather stay with Dagnis and Eithion we will not mind, sister,” Lithuidor said, and Sakura _knew_ that she had to look very nervous. _To think that she would be scared of children one day._ Dying had done so much for her, Sakura mused with a derisive snort. _But she was trying to forget her death by that point because she was alive and living somehow and she always went cold and distant when she lingered on the memories of those hands ripping through her body and the few moments of agony before death welcomed her into its embrace… and then promptly booted her to there._ But, again, she wasn’t going to think on that any more. She wasn’t about to make her brothers think she needed to go back home and rest for inane reason.

“Are you quite alright, dear sister?” Leithedir asked, concern written all over his face then, and Sakura realised she must have blanked out somewhat.

“’m fine,” she grumbled, cheek pressed against her brother’s chest even as she glared up at him, irritated at the way they all seemed to have stopped. Lithuidor was hovering near by as per usual, looking annoyingly worried then. Even Duinenor looked mildly concerned, and he had never been witness to one of her _dark moods_ – or so she liked to call them – before.

“Does this happen often?” she heard the healer ask as he ventured over to Lithuidor’s side, grey eyes darting between her and her eldest brother then.

Lithuidor sighed, even as she glared indignantly at him to try and get the message across that _no, you shouldn’t tell him._ Her message failed. “Far more than I like,” he murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose then. “Though our darling little sister _refuses_ to tell us why she sometimes acts like she has just returned from battle,” Lithuidor said, and Sakura barely managed to muffle the snort against her brother’s chest at Lithuidor’s words. _That was such a good guess, though the more correct answer was that she had returned from the battlefield and died trying to stop her dearest friends from being complete morons and killing each other and had then been shoved into the body of a baby of a different species in a completely new world._

A finger ghosted over her cheek then, and Sakura blinked as she registered the fact she was no longer in Leithedir’s arms. Rather she was in Duinenor’s and he was peering down at her curiously even as she felt _not-chakra_ – rather it was something else which trickled through her body then. “You should talk to your brothers,” Duinenor informed her then, a frown on his lips, making his already naturally stern face look that much more imposing. “There is a reason children are not meant to be exposed to violence and other situations which can result in grief.”

“Grief?” Lithuidor demanded then, looking frantic as he looked between the two of them. “Berenloth is grieving?” he clarified, seeming as though he was about to grab Duinenor by the shoulders and start trying to shake answers from him then. “How—no, _why_ is she grieving?” he questioned, and Sakura wasn’t certain of _who_ that question was directed towards. Duinenor couldn’t have a clue as to _why_ she was grieving though, even if he had somehow detected it. _Could he?_ Sakura swallowed thickly at the thought of being ousted for the little cuckoo that she was. The odd one out.

“You would have to ask your sister, Dûrchanar,” Duinenor said. “All I know is that her soul does not feel… as tethered as it should, which is often indicative of grief, and it is not a good sign in a _seven-year-old_ child,” he continued, and Sakura felt her stomach twist with nervousness then. _Why the hell was he talking about the ‘soul’?_

Her eldest brother stared at her then – in a way which told Sakura that she was going to be bundled in blankets with a glass of warm milk and questioned intently when they returned home likely sometime in the evening. _Something Sakura was not looking forwards to in the slightest._ “I will take her home—”

“It would be better to let her meet with these children, Dûrchanar,” Duinenor said then, sighing in exasperation. “You cannot keep bundling her away in your home and growling at anyone who dares to come too close.”

Leithedir snickered.

“Osbion,” Duinenor said sharply, turning to give him a cutting glare. “Take your idiocy and leave if you are not going to be of any use here.”

“You never mince your words, dear friend,” Leithedir murmured, sounding irreparably fond of the ellon then. “Besides, I was merely laughing at your excellent depiction of our dear eldest brother here. He does tend to act like a mother bear protecting her cubs when it comes to the twins.”

“For some strange reason, that does not surprise me,” Duinenor remarked, carrying her towards the room where the other children were playing in, heedless of the looks both of her brothers gave him then, even as a door was opened and five children were revealed. There was an adult in the room, obviously, and it was her who turned and acknowledged their arrival – what with the other _children_ too embroiled in their games or in their reading. “Amathil,” Duinenor greeted, staring down at the elleth then. “This is Berenloth, Dûrchanar’s little sister.”

“Oh, Ruiniel is due to give birth today, is she not?” Amathil murmured, smiling at her then, slightly wide-spaced, warm blue eyes meeting her green ones then and narrowing curiously. “So you are one of the mysterious twins then,” she remarked, climbing to her feet then, leaving the little boy with raven dark hair to his reading. “She was not injured, was she?”

“Of course not,” Lithuidor grumbled, folding his arms then. “Do you really I would let my sister come to harm whilst walking here?”

Amathil’s lip curled then, blue eyes flickering over to her eldest brother then. “I see our illustrious Captain of the Guard is with us today…” she said, and Sakura frowned at that, not quite liking the way she was looking at her elder brother. “Here I was hoping you would decide to stay out of the Halls of Healing for a while yet.”

“Not _here_ , Amathil,” Lithuidor said, and Sakura shivered at the iciness in his voice. She had never heard her admittedly stern, overbearing, worry-wart of a brother use such a tone before. “There are children present, so keep your personal opinions to yourself.”

“Opinion is it?” the elleth said, tilting her head as she stared up at him. “I rather thought it fact instead.” Something curled in Sakura’s gut then, thick and hot as she glanced between the elleth and her brother and wondered exactly what was going on right then and there. Her brother gritted her teeth, and that something twisted in her gut, and Sakura decided right there and then that she _did not_ like the other elleth. _She was probably biased – because, hello brother – but then again there was that angry feeling that only she was allowed to make her brother so very frustrated._

“You are to be minding Berenloth, Dûrchanar’s little sister, from now on, Amathil,” Duinenor spoke then, his voice like ice, sharp, cold, and cutting between the two. Leithedir shivered noticeably at the tone. _Probably because it had been used on him numerous times before,_ or so she mused to herself as she watched the unfolding drama before her. “Can I trust you to keep your prejudices to yourself, or should I rescind the privilege of watching over these children here?”

“Of course,” Amathil said, smiling then pleasantly.

Sakura didn’t trust it in the slightest, eyeing the older elleth warily even as Duinenor set her on the ground. Her eyes darted around the room then, staring between the black-haired boy who was still reading a book on the floor, the noisy brunette playing with a box of toys in the corner of the room, the silvery-blonde-haired girl with grey eyes which occasionally flickered up from her own reading, and the silver-haired boy and the brown-haired girl playing some sort of tag which she didn’t want to join in with. They were, after all, quite a bit bigger than her. Most of them were, except the one playing with the toys and the black-haired one who was reading far too close to where Amathil was seating herself back down even as her brothers waved goodbye and left then.

She didn’t understand how they could trust the lady to be fair or nice, given the dislike she seemed to harbour towards at least one of her precious family members. Sakura felt it well up within her then – possessiveness. Her brothers were just that, _hers,_ and Sakura didn’t like the fact that this Amathil lady didn’t like at least one of them. She had barely acknowledged her brilliant brother Leithedir who always took her to the beach, and she hated strong, yet almost unbearably strict and stern Lithuidor. _She was the only one allowed to hate him for petty reasons, because they would always make up after a matter of days – especially after Reniedir took her to the side to explain why her eldest brother had done something._

Her gaze darted away from the elleth who made anger boil in her belly, turning her focus on the girl with the silvery blonde hair then. She didn’t think she had seen hair quite so pale as that. _Certainly not in the shade of blonde that girl’s was. Light, silvery blonde. Like Ino._ Her heart ached, and Sakura tore her eyes away, knowing that she shouldn’t. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t.

But her heart was a fickle thing, and her feet found her leading her over towards one of the elflings who had to be older than her by a great margin. The youngest was nineteen, and she could tell he was the green-eyed boy with the raven dark hair closest to Amathil. The blonde girl was furthest away. _That was the only reason she was heading towards her,_ or so Sakura decided for herself. _Liar,_ part of her whispered, and her toes scrunched up within her boots as if that would change a damned thing. _How had Ino introduced herself all those years ago?_ Sakura couldn’t remember, and her stomach flipped as she edged closer to the girl who chose then to glance up from her reading material.

_Coward,_ that same part of her whispered as she slipped by, plucking a text bound in leather from the shelf, and conveniently seating herself down beside the older girl as she opened the book. _It was probably slightly above her ability, what with her having not paid as much attention to written Sindarin what with her focus being on not sounding like a baby with a lisp._ She peered at the flowery script, wondering why she hadn’t picked up a picture book, wondering why she hadn’t just tried to introduce herself to the older girl. Her stomach twisted, even as she peered down at the words, trying to make a sense of them then, lines marring her brow as she struggled to get through the first sentence. _Oh how she wished her brothers were there – they would be able to tell her how to introduce herself, encourage it even. Well, unless they were Lithuidor, in which case they would probably try to bundle her off back home where it was safe._ Her shoulders sunk then, eyes flickering over to the silvery blonde who smiled at her then. Her heart leapt, but the words wouldn’t come to her lips and she could only smile back in a somewhat strained manner.

“Is that text not a bit advanced for you?” her bookish companion asked, and Sakura felt her cheeks turn a horrible shade of red as she nodded. Ino-look-alike elf smiled, and Sakura could only stare into those grey eyes then and there. They weren’t Ino’s blue ones— _and she should really stop thinking about Ino, because Ino was probably still alive and getting old back in the Elemental Nations because she had died, prevented Naruto and Sasuke form killing each other, meaning they had no doubt released the genjutsu which had bound the world in its sway._ Sakura was fine with that. Utterly, completely fine with that.

_Liar._

“Do you wish for me to assist you?” the girl asked, and Sakura’s heart leapt once more, a true smile spreading on her face then.

“Would you?” she asked, smiling that much more brightly, and Sakura soon found herself seated atop the slightly bigger girl’s lap. “I am Berenloth,” she greeted, barely resisting the urge to fidget and swing her legs in excitement. _She was talking with the elleth that she wanted to, and the other girl didn’t seem to dislike her or anything of the sort. She wasn’t like Ami who had once made fun of the size of her forehead alongside her cronies._

“Well met, Berenloth,” the girl said, smiling too, even as she set aside her original reading material and brought the text Sakura had been reading in front of the both of them.

“Lame!”

The shout of the word made Sakura flinch back, the knot of anger in her belly stirring then before she pushed it back _because she was trying not to be weird and too angry for her age._ “Excuse you, Bruion,” the girl hissed, bringing the text up to shield her from that grey-eyed sneering gaze of the other child. Sakura decided she really rather liked this not-Ino, and rather hoped to get the other girl’s name soon so she could stop calling the other girl that.

“Why would you want to read some stuffy books when you could be playing?” the boy, Bruion, demanded, glaring at them from his spot by the box of toys. Sakura put him at an age younger than not-Ino, but older than nineteen thanks to his slightly larger build. _She wondered if he was older than her ages put together. Seventeen and seven._ Her eyes flickered to the text before her, flowery and flowy in its nature, deciding to focus on that rather than thoughts of the past. She didn’t want to dwell long on it, if at all. That was the best way to move on.

_Her_ elleth scoffed then, looking down her nose at the boy then, and Sakura felt happy in her choice of prospective friend. _So much like Ino and the way she defended her._ Sakura paused at that, hating the odd sense of weakness she felt at that. “Some of us have a brain between our ears, Bruion,” she remarked, words so very cutting, and Bruion seemingly went back to playing with the toys set before him. Sakura only smiled shyly.

“I do not like him,” she decided then and there.

Her hopeful new friend only hummed behind her, the sound so very happy in the silence which fell right then and there. “Then we are in agreement on that, the feeling there is very mutual,” not-Ino said, adjusting the text somewhat in front of her then. “Like I was about to say before we were so rudely interrupted, my name is Faechith,” she continued, heedless of the way Bruion sent them a glare. “Well met, Berenloth,” she added. “Now let us begin with our reading…” she trailed off, sparing a glance down at her, before she started reading then, fingernail moving along under the line of text as she read the corresponding words aloud.

_It talked about a city named Gondolin._ Sakura vaguely recognised the name from what tales of the First Age her brother had spoken of – but he had only mentioned that city in passing. She frowned then, trying to remember what her brothers had told her of _Gondolin._ They always seemed to look saddened but oddly proud whenever they had mentioned it. _“It is not a nice tale, Berenloth,”_ she vaguely remembered Reniedir telling her. _“The city fell, and its beauty was ruined – all who survived it forever mourned its loss, our grandfather amongst them… very few who saw its ruin chose to remain here when the Host of Valinor returned across the sea…”_ Her grip on the book tightened then, eyes narrowing as she realised just what she was trying to read about. _“It is not a tale for children.”_

Green eyes narrowed on the book. _It might not have been for children, but then again she had lived through a war. Reading about such a thing wouldn’t affect her as much as living through a war had._ Besides, her brothers were stiflingly overprotective excluding Maethon. Then again, he was the same age as her, no matter how he tried to act. _He was only older than her in body, and only then by not too long._ A soft sigh escaped her, even as she continued to try and read along with Faechith.

“Already learning to read, are we?” Amathil asked, and Sakura blinked and looked up at that, noting the way those blue eyes dropped to the text held before them. “Though I see you have poor taste in reading materials,” she remarked, and that vicious pit of anger rose within her, confirming the fact that she hated those blue-blue eyes which hid jealously and annoyance in their midst. _Why had her brothers left her with that elleth?_ She didn’t like the look of her and her brothers hadn’t seemed to like her either. _But if her brothers hadn’t left her in Amathil’s care then she wouldn’t have met not-Ino, Faechith, she reminded herself._ She liked Faechith, and hoped she could make a friend out of her.

“The Fall of Gondolin is important,” she said then, not quite knowing what made her say that, even as victory of all things gleamed in the older elleth’s eyes then.

“Of course it would be for you,” Amathil sneered, kneeling down then. _Giving Sakura far better access to her face._ Seriously, the lady was just _asking_ for Sakura to hit her – right in her slightly too-thin nose. _But Sakura wouldn’t._ Her brothers would only get angry, scolding, and disappointed if she did that – and Sakura didn’t want to be put in time-out or the dreaded highchair again. _Maethon would only sneer at her again and try to get a rise out of her for some reason she couldn’t quite work out._ She probably needed to figure out what was going on there sooner rather than later. _It would be more ‘mature’ of her and then she could be the one to sneer at Maethon for once._

_Child,_ the voice in the back of her head reminded. _Freak. Cuckoo._

But she was going to be normal – she was going to belong, no matter how odd she was. She could be Sakura _and_ Berenloth, and she was going to stop thinking of herself as a freak and a cuckoo. _Even if part of her didn’t seem to agree with her just then._ “Why is it always _your_ family?” Amathil demanded then, grasping her attention then as a smooth hand cupped her chin, nails finding purchase in the soft skin of her cheeks. “Do you pride yourselves on your bloodline? Do you pride yourselves in trampling over the hard work of others with your ancestry and names to claim that which others sweat blood and tears for?” Her face was tilted upwards, the grip almost painful, even as Faechith trembled and held her tighter, trying to shrink back from the elleth, but there was nowhere for them to go. They were seated on a chair, trapped between that and Amathil. Sakura gritted her teeth. “Tell me, why are you all so strange—”

Sakura blinked, staring at the elleth as she lay on her back all of a sudden, nose gushing red, the boiling pit of anger raging through her making her see red, even as Amathil lay on her back. Her hand was extended, she noted dimly, something red and wet dripping from her knuckles. _She hadn’t seen it since those hands had been pierced through her, the coppery taste thick in her throat as she choked on her own lifeblood._

_Strange. Freak,_ parts of her whispered. Sakura wished they would shut up already. She was annoyed enough as she was, and she had _punched_ Amathil. Something she hadn’t wanted to do – something she already regretted, if only because that red blood was something she hadn’t felt on her fists for so very long, since another lifetime. Her breathing came in heavy pants, Faechith frozen stiff behind her. _She had probably ruined the chance of friendship because she was angry and weird and had punched someone._ Her stomach twisted, rage and regret swirling in there, and a slam and loud smack of something rang out through the air. _The smack of the door against the wall as it was pushed open so very quickly._

“What,” Duinenor demanded, grey eyes ice cold as they landed on her, “exactly is going on here?”

Her hand shook then, and Sakura felt a rush of cold realisation shoot through her as she felt the expression her face was set into right then and there. _She was smiling._ A vicious grin of a wolf who had found its prey. A satisfied expression of a victorious warrior who’d won a bloodied battle. A smile which didn’t belong on the face of a child. _Freak,_ part of her reminded, stomach dropping to her toes then as shame washed through her, quelling the raging tide of anger in her belly. _She didn’t want to go in time-out again. Nor did she want the highchair._ Her brothers knew they were punishments for her, and Sakura didn’t want to be stuck in either of them. _She didn’t want Maethon to lord over her with the fact that he had never been in time-out or the highchair before – because she was the troublesome one. The weird one who was too angry for their age, the freakish one who had zero impulse control._

Duinenor took a step forwards then. “Is Berenloth well?” Reniedir’s voice reached her, and her courage fled. _Always running away,_ part of her reminded herself yet again. _What does that say about you, coward?_ Tears bit at the corners of her eyes, and she launched herself from Faechith’s lap, eyes darting wildly around the room. _Like a cornered wolf,_ that same part reminded, and Sakura spied the slightly open window as Duinenor’s feet moved, bringing him closer to her.

“Berenloth,” Duinenor said then, and Sakura risked a glance towards him before she fled, hating the unreadable emotion in his eyes. _He was obviously so very angry with her._ Her feet pounded against the floor, chakra pulsing in her legs as she vaulted out of the window, heedless of the cries behind her. “Berenloth!” Duinenor shouted, head and shoulders appearing out of the window, but Sakura was already running down the street. “Berenloth, come back here this instant!”

Lightning tingled on her tongue, the streets mercifully rather empty, but the storm she could see brewing was telling of why. Down at the harbourside, she could see the waves beginning to rise and swell, that familiar voice echoing in her ears as her feet took her to somewhere she didn’t know. The streets were entirely unfamiliar, the route her feet had taken her already lost in her panic. _She would have disappointed her brothers and revealed how much of a strange, angry child she was._ The fresh wave of panic crashed into her then, and she was off, ignoring the stares of the few she had passed on the streets which had so very bothered her earlier that same day. She hardly cared for them then. She just wanted to get away from the disappointment and anger of her brothers. _She had attacked someone, and they weren’t at home where she could simply apologise and move on._ Her heart beat furiously in her little chest, and she ran on as fast as her little legs would take her.

_Little singer?_

Sakura blinked, staring at the road in front of her, blinking at the straight path before her which led to the very edge of the harbour – to the other side of the sheltered area of the sea, where the waves raged larger and larger as that same, familiar masculine voice urged them to climb higher, laughing sometimes amidst the song he sung. _A song of rage and fury,_ though it was nothing like the one she wanted to sing right in that instant.

_“What calms you down, little sister?”_ she vaguely remembered Leithedir asking her as they sat on the sands together, staring out into the great, humongous ocean stretching out before them. She hadn’t known an answer back then, but staring at those waves, hearing that voice which sung with such anger, a challenge layered in that song. A challenge she wanted to answer, and so she ran forwards, sprinting out to the very edge of the wharf where no ships were, staring at the roiling blue-green ocean before her then.

Chakra lined her own voice as it ripped out, answering that voice she had heard singing the storms oftentimes. _She liked those storms the best._ Her words were practically a howl, part of her relishing in the odd _fight_ going on between her and that odd male sea-voice. _She preferred it to the female sea-voice._ The storms that other voice sung to were never as fun. Anger and fear rose in her again. _You like the fight, you like the violence, don’t you, cuckoo?_ part of her whispered again, never ceasing to be unhelpful. Sakura only sung of the annoyance that part of her brought to her mind. Children probably weren’t meant to like violence. It only made her that much more weird.

Waves raged before her, sea spray misting in her hair as she laughed then and sung that much more powerfully, knowing all the while that the sea-voice could crush hers if it so desired to. _It was playing her, indulging her in an odd sort of violent sing-off, ridding her of her rage, replacing it with jubilant glee instead._ Laughter escaped her then, feet moving to the tune of their odd song, lightning crackling on her tongue then and she called to it then, beckoning it down—

“ _Child!”_ the startled cry broke through her odd trance, and she turned then, spying a ellon with silvery blonde hair making his way towards her, grey eyes wide, hand outstretched as if to reach for her. But he was too far away. His face was drawn in horror – for what, Sakura wasn’t sure.

Then the waters crashed overhead, and something ripped into her side, sharp and piercing, and dragging her back into the roiling angry waters. Deep waters, she noted dimly, bubbles of air escaping her as she screamed at that burning, cutting pain in her side. Whisps of blood trickled upwards, vanishing in the clear waters above. _She was bleeding,_ part of her noticed, even as she was dragged down under the waves. _The waters were so very pretty._ Her side burned, whatever was dug into her skin pulling itself free. Her eyes darted down, even as the waters above her parted – something displacing them as they entered – and she could only frown as she caught sight of what she thought to be talons and scales.

_Hello, little singer,_ the sea-voice purred in her ear.

Her eyes widened, even as an arm looped around her waist and she found herself wrenched upwards and out of the waters which felt so very loving and exciting. _You almost drowned,_ the more sensible part of her reminded. Water escaped her as she coughed on the hard stone suddenly beneath her, dark, coppery, tanned hands helping her to sit up and expel any waters she had inadvertently breathed or swallowed. She heaved for breath then, even as she found herself dragged up into someone’s arms. Dark green eyes stared at her, narrowed, raven black hair windswept and dusted with sea mist. “Are you quite alright, child?” the smooth voice asked, and Sakura wondered what sort of madness had taken a hold of her as she reached up towards his face with tiny little hands. _Compared to his face that was_.

“Pretty,” she mumbled, wanting to slap herself moments later as the ellon chuckled.

“Why thank you, little one,” he said, and heat rose in her cheeks then, both at his words and her ridiculous brain-to-mouth filter which had epically failed her then.

“Dúvain!” another voice came, and Sakura only blinked at the sight of the dripping wet ellon who had obviously been the one to dive in and fish her out of the waters. “What are you milling about here for?” he demanded, panting then, proving he was certainly not a fighter with that level of fitness. “Halls of Healing,” he hissed after another deep breath. “Go!”

“Of course,” Dúvain murmured, and then Sakura felt herself being jostled as she was carried up through the town and _towards the place she had been trying to get away from so very desperately._ It was almost ironic how she had been dragged back there. Just her luck.

The trip back to the Halls of Healing felt infinitely shorter than her attempt to escape it, the world seeming so very far away and not a concern as she mused over what had just happened. She felt oddly peaceful after all of that, despite the _almost drowning._

_Be gentler next time,_ the female sea-voice came then, and Sakura only closed her eyes.

“Mithon fished her out after she fell into the sea,” Dúvain said then, and blearily she cracked open her eyes to see what was going on.

Duinenor stared down at her, face set in disapproval and concern, and then things moved very quickly from there.

She was dragged off to be placed in another room – her own that time, given she was now apparently a patient of the Halls of Healing. Lithuidor arrived only moments after she had been settled into her bed, dripping wet clothes mostly removed, much to her own embarrassment, but Duinenor did not mess about, or so she was discovering. “Foolish little chit,” he muttered, even wrapping a towel around her head as he was.

“Berenloth?” Reniedir demanded, arriving in her room only moments after their eldest brother. “What were you thinking?” he asked, before he paused, rounding then on the only apparent stranger in the room. “Who might you be?”

“Dúvain,” he replied. “My name is Dúvain. My companion Mithon was the one to fish your… sister out after she fell into the waters,” he explained, and Sakura could only wince as her second eldest brother rounded on her then. _Sometimes he was worse than Lithuidor when he really got going, and that was saying something, seeing as how Lithuidor was Lithuidor._

“Then you have our deepest thanks,” Lithuidor chimed in, Reniedir being busy with scolding her then. “Our sister can sometimes be rather foolish and flighty…” he murmured, and Sakura took offense to that – not that she could really verbalise that under the ever so heavy, tender care of Duinenor and her second oldest brother as she was.

Dúvain frowned then. _He still looked so very pretty,_ part of her brain whispered. Sakura whispered back at it to _shut the hell up before she did something stupid again._ “I do not think it coincidence your sister was at the side of the ocean,” he remarked, dark green eyes falling on her again, and Reniedir turned to face him at that.

“What do you mean by that?” Reniedir questioned, lines marring his brow as his gaze flickered between her bright green eyes and the dark jade ones boring into her own then.

“She did not fall into the sea by chance,” Dúvain said, eyes flickering down to her side which Duinenor had discovered and was horrified over. She could barely see beyond the hands which fiddled about the wound, slathering some sort of herby past atop it, but she thought she could just about make out claw markings. Five of them. Around the size of an adult’s hand. “Mithon did not quite see as I did, otherwise he may not have jumped in as quickly as he did…”

“What?” Lithuidor demanded then, turning to face the other ellon then. “What do you speak of? Explain clearly!”

“Ossë,” Dúvain stated, and Sakura frowned at the name, stomach twisting at the silence and stillness which followed. She could’ve heard a pin drop in that moment. Even Duinenor paused in his work to stare at the coppery-skinned ellon whose face was so very severe all of a sudden as he stared at her then. “You should be careful, little singer,” he told her then. “Do not linger upon the shores alone. To court the interest of a Maia is not something one can do lightly.”


	10. The Aftermath

Her toes, she noted, were terribly interesting to stare at when the alternative was looking at her brothers, their snappy healer who was fussing over her, and the pretty elf who enjoyed making her brain-to-mouth filter go caput. She wiggled them, fidgeting awkwardly in the silence which hung heavy in the room after Dúvain had mentioned something about some _Maia_ called Ossë. Her lips were pressed together in a fine line, and the stares bore into her like drills as she sat there, waiting for something to happen.

“I will excuse myself,” Dúvain said then, inclining his head, smiling at her one last time. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Berenloth. I hope you recover swiftly,” he continued, slowly backing towards the door, not that it mattered. Her brothers were all too busy staring at her with varying expressions of protectiveness, fear, and worry. The door shut behind the pretty elf, leaving her back in that silence once more. She shifted then, uncomfortable with the intensity of her brothers’ stares.

Duinenor tutted, clicking his tongue when she moved away from the sudden application of a paste which stung just a bit. “While I like to think a Maia would not have dirty or poisoned claws, I think such a wound ought to be treated with more care…” he remarked, eyes flickering between the weeping claw marks and her face before he turned, staring at their audience. “And if none of you are going to do anything but stare like gormless morons, then I suggest you go and comfort your other relatives in the Halls of Healing.”

Leithedir was the first to recover. “You are as sharp tongued as ever, dear friend,” he said, venturing around to the other side of the bed, seating himself on her uninjured side then, even as Lithuidor came and loomed over her. His face was twisted into an expression she recognised to be worry and annoyance. _She wondered what he was annoyed over._ Her stomach twisted, more so at the thought of going home to the many questions her brothers would have. _She was grieving, and had apparently caught the attention of a Maia – whatever or whoever that was._ “You always have been such a curious child,” Leithedir said, pinching her cheek and earning a sullen scowl from her as she rubbed her cheek to the sound of his laughter. “I suppose it can be no surprise you earned the attention of a Maia,” he stated, smiling kindly then, even as her eyes filled with tears for reasons she couldn’t quite work out. “Ai, what is wrong, dear sister?” he asked, expression morphing into one of concern as he stared at her then.

“You upset her, fool,” Reniedir muttered, making himself at home beside Leithedir, peering down at her in concern.

“Oh, I am the fool?” Leithedir grumbled, folding his arms. “Which imbeciles thought it a good idea to leave our precious little Berenloth with Amathil, of all people?”

“You were there too,” Lithuidor reminded, mirroring Leithedir then, leaning against the wall behind her, peering down at Duinenor and his work – which had swiftly moved to bandages around the room, given the apparent lack of adhesive dressings. “You also consented to leave her with that elleth…”

Leithedir huffed. “And whose fault is it that Amathil despises the lot of us?”

“Leithedir!” Reniedir hissed.

“You know as well as the rest of us that Amathil is the one at fault.” Sakura blinked, startling at the new, unfamiliar voice. She turned her head, staring at the ellon as he emerged from the shadows of the door. “I apologise for entering uninvited, I merely wished to apologise for my sister’s actions, Captain,” the ellon said, inclining his head towards her eldest brother, and Sakura frowned as she spotted the brown hair and blue eyes so reminiscent of the mean minder. He knelt down then, bowing his head, and the free strands of his brown hair fell down to conceal his face then. “She is temperamental at the best of times, though I will be sure to have yet another conversation with her.”

“Faelion,” Reniedir greeted then, and Sakura stared at the newcomer, fear and resentment churning in her belly at the sight of features so similar to the one who had so recently called her _freakish_ and _unnatural_.

“That would be a good idea,” Lithuidor said. “To speak with your sister, that is… I mind not when her frustration is directed towards me, but treating our little sister with contempt for something beyond her own control is something I will not abide by.”

“Understandable,” Faelion said, blue eyes locking on her for a brief moment. “Berenloth, I apologise for my sister’s actions, and wish you a swift recovery henceforth. I will see myself out.” He nodded once, turning on his heel, walking out of the room with a rigid, military discipline.

Sakura blinked, trying to take in everything which had just happened, brain feeling slightly frazzled at how quickly everything had seemed to happen. “Am I… not in trouble?” she asked, hesitant then as she glanced between her brothers, even as Duinenor sat back, her wound bandaged and treated to the best of his ability. “For running away as I did…?”

“Faechith explained what happened and that which Amathil said,” Duinenor said, sighing then, patting her head once. “You were scared and intimidated even before I came along, though I apologise if my entering the room at that point in time scared you into running away. My wife says I sometimes can appear to be very imposing, and Leithedir here, along with most others can likely back up her words.”

“Indeed,” Leithedir murmured. “That is probably an understatement, to say the least…”

Duinenor cut him a withering glare, evidently not appreciating that last line, and her brother only grinned cheekily. He shook his head, apparently writing off the antics of her brother. _Apparently he had developed some sort of immunity over the however many long years they had known each other for_. “Your brothers will be able to assist you with changing your bandages,” he said, turning back to her as she sat there, dressed only in a pair of pants which had been procured for her owing to the fact her others along with the rest of her clothes, were completely soaked. Sakura presumed she had this Ossë to thank for that much. Not that she particularly minded. The sea had helped her calm down after all the excitement and pandemonium of earlier. “I do not think she is listening anymore,” Duinenor remarked. “Though she is but a child still, so I suppose I cannot fault her for having a short attention span.”

“Huh?” She looked around then, only to be met with Reniedir and Leithedir who were staring at her in that indulging way – the way that adults stared when they thought a child was being especially adorable. _And she was the child in that situation_.

“Do not worry, Berenloth,” Lithuidor spoke then, and Sakura looked around to find those grey eyes staring at her then, a smile on his lips. “We will take care of your injuries… as we have done before,” he remarked, and Sakura felt the stirrings of dread at the memory of her feet being injured months before.

Her shoulders sunk. “Does that mean you will not permit me to visit the shores or venture outside the house much?” she asked, part of her so very longing to see those waves, those blue waters again and taste the salt on her tongue as the sea crashed upon the shore with fervour.

Lithuidor was silent for a few moments. “You will be permitted a few visits,” he said, an unreadable look in his eyes as he stared down at her. “Though with at least two of us with you at all times,” he remarked, looking away from her then. “You cannot go near the sea without us, Berenloth, and that is doubly true now that we know what and whom has taken a peculiar interest in you…”

“I do not believe I should be privy to this conversation,” Duinenor said, pulling away from her side then. “I will either come myself or send someone to keep you abreast of Ruiniel’s situation and the impending birth.”

“Then you have our thanks, Duinenor,” Reniedir replied, a smile on his lips.

Duinenor scoffed. “I am merely doing my job – save your thanks.”

The door shut closed quietly behind the other ellon, leaving Sakura in the room with only her three brothers for company. Leithedir frowned, fingers reaching out towards the side where she was injured, but Lithuidor smacked his hand away. “No touching,” Lithuidor said, levelling a pointed look his way. “Honestly, you are terrible enough with your own injuries, so do not impede Berenloth’s healing.”

“I was hardly going to touch her wound – I was merely going to inspect the bandaging,” Leithedir grumbled, folding his arms as he sat back with a belligerent huff.

“Do not doubt Duinenor’s skill… and it is best for us to not go off topic here, given what we ought to be properly discussing,” Reniedir said, looking terribly solemn all of a sudden, and Sakura turned to him, frowning as she looked at her second oldest brother. “Do not forget why Duinenor left. We must discuss what to do going forwards… what with the information that our sister has attracted the attention of a _Maia_ and of them all – Ossë.”

“Why could it not be Uinen, if it had to be a Maia of the sea?” Leithedir grumbled.

Sakura felt her brow furrow, the conversation losing her somewhat before she found the courage to speak up and try and get the answers she wanted. “What is a Maia?” she asked, tilting her head as her little voice sliced through the conversation around her like a knife. Silence reigned for a few moments, before she opened her mouth again. “And why are you all worried about it?” she questioned, staring between her brother then, even as they scrambled to come up with an explanation as to what the big deal was about a Maia, their attention, and herself being the focus of it. “I do not understand what the problem is…”

Lithuidor sighed. “Berenloth, has anyone ever spoken to you of the Valar?” he asked. “The ones we follow… servants of The One, and the ones our ancestors lived amongst until the Rebellion of the Noldor?”

Sakura nodded. She had heard bits and pieces over the years – it was impossible not to, what with how revered and feared the Valar were in those lands. She didn’t quite understand what exactly that had to do with a Maia.

“The Maiar are their chief servants,” Reniedir explained, and Sakura blinked and felt her stomach clench at the admittance. “They are somewhat lesser in power, but they are similar beings. They can walk uncloaked and unnoticed amongst us, and rare is it that they take an interest in a single individual… more so especially because of _who_ has apparently taken an interest in you… because despite our Falmari heritage, we are Noldor… and Ossë is not fond of Noldor…”

She fidgeted where she sat then, shivering them slightly as cool air brushed against her skin. “Who is Uinen then? And why would you have preferred for it to be them who took an interest in me…?” she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest then as her mind slowly started to absorb how big of a deal the whole sea-voice debacle was coming. She hadn’t thought it unusual. _But then again she was so very unusual of an existence in that place._ It seemed nothing would ever let her forget that fact, though she supposed she didn’t mind playing with the sea-voice. _With Ossë,_ her mind corrected. It was something fun and soothing to do – sing with the sea and him, stirring up those waves – and Sakura rather doubted she would suddenly be able to stop doing that.

“Uinen is the wife of Ossë,” Reniedir continued, evidently being the one who was more knowledgeable of lore and the histories of old. Sakura supposed being a scholar had something to do with it.

“Oh!” Sakura blinked, the realisation smacking her in the face like a wet fish. “So she is the other one!” she declared, smiling then as she realised she had names for each of the voices she heard upon the waves.

Lithuidor choked on his spit.

“The… other one?” Leithedir mumbled, sounding as though his attention was mild away, his expression oddly vacant as he stared into space.

“Valier,” Reniedir murmured, burying his face in one hand as he sat cross-legged on the bed. “Little sister, why did you never mention the fact that two Maiar have been speaking with you?” he asked, looking up then, grey eyes boring into her green ones like curious lasers. “While the scholarly side of me might delight in such knowledge of the servants of the Valar, I must admit their interest in you concerns me. Maiar do not fixate or involve themselves often in the affairs of the Children of Eru, such are theirs and the Valar’s ways. Unless one has a destin—ow!”

She blinked, eyes narrowed on her brothers as Leithedir removed his elbow from Reniedir’s gut.

Silence reigned for what felt like a terribly long time. “I did not know they did not speak with you all, though it has been less speaking and more like singing,” Sakura grumbled eventually, fidgeting awkwardly, all the while cursing how very childish she had to have appeared. _You are a child,_ part of her reminded, and Sakura acquiesced. “I thought it was… normal…” she said, hating how she failed at being a normal elf. _A normal little elf child._

Reniedir sighed softly. “It is no trouble, Berenloth, nor should it be something which makes you feel strange or ostracised within our family,” he said, and Sakura felt her toes curl then as her brother hit the nail right on the head regarding her deepest fear. _The thing which haunted her so very vividly, whether it be in the back of her mind or the depths of her darkest dreams._ “Though I would advise on not speaking at length with this to Maethon, given how you two have been acting around each other as of late,” he remarked, and Sakura frowned at the reminder of her soured relationship with her twin. “He may become… jealous…”

Sakura hummed in acknowledgement, frown still marring her face even as she thought about her twin and what she was supposed to do when he was the one who was huffing and glaring and making pointed comments regarding her whenever he thought their brothers weren’t listening. Not that Sakura was greatly upset by his words, unless he mentioned something about her being _the little cuckoo which she truly was._

A finger poked at her cheek, and Sakura blinked to find Leithedir staring down at her. “We can speak more at length on this matter once you are fully rested once more,” he said. “You seem to be becoming lost in your thoughts a little more than usual…”

“It has been an eventful day,” Lithuidor chimed in, sighing softly as he looked at her, forehead crinkled as if in thought. “One for which I can happily lay the blame at Amathil’s feet, though we will speak more at length on how to appropriately deal with someone who is bothering you – because you cannot simply keep punching problems, lest you wish to give me and the rest of our brothers something to fret over constantly.”

Sakura nodded glumly, eyelids starting to feel heavier by the minute as she lay back on the bed, and rolled onto her side then, snuggling into the pillow. The quilt was tucked up beneath her chin courtesy of Leithedir, and Sakura could only blink a few times before the siren’s song of sleep beckoned her under.

* * *

“Berenloth,” a soft voice called, and Sakura forced her eyes open groggily, blinking as she caught sight of the pitch-black sky outside and the concerned face of Lithuidor closer by. “Stir yourself, sister,” he said, and Sakura sat up then, face set into a grumpy frown as she stared at her brother who was crouched by her bedside. “Or do you not wish to meet your nephew?”

Her eyes shot fully open, and Sakura scrambled out of bed then, part of her noting that she had been dressed in fresh clothes during her sleep. Though she was far more concerned with greeting her new family member. “Dagnis gave birth?” she demanded then, still feeling terribly groggy even as Lithuidor smiled at her and opened the door, leading her to where she presumed the rest of her brothers had hurried off to.

“Indeed,” her brother said. “Eithion has named him Laerdil, and we will soon be venturing homewards. Though Eithion and Dagnis will return to their separate residence and will not likely stay over again anytime soon.”

Sakura pouted at that, but she supposed her brothers all needed their space, and they all had another residence around Forlond. Oftentimes they took it in turns to stay over, though Lithuidor and Glawil were near permanent residents, just like she and Maethon. “Can we go and visit them sometimes?” she asked, looking up at her brother, dimly noting that she still felt terrible. Sakura blamed her tiredness and subsequent nap, what with how it had to have messed up her bodyclock. She usually took a nap in the daytime – only an hour at most, despite her brothers worrying over her not getting enough sleep, because elf children of seven years of age apparently needed more than human children of the same age. Sakura supposed her smaller body was probably to blame.

Nevertheless, there were sleeping milestones – the most weirdest one to note that once she passed fifty she would be able to sleep with her eyes open. _She would literally be able to sleep while walking or doing other things which didn’t require her full concentration._ Yet another reminder of how she was an elf rather than a human. Sakura liked to think she was coming to terms with her non-human-ness, just like she was slowly coming to accept the fact she was a child. She was hilariously young compared to Lithuidor who had been around for at least three-hundred years. _Though she didn’t think that meant they all had to treat her like a baby and suffocate her with their attention and love._

By the time she had been seven years old in the world before, she had been allowed to walk around the village, what with shinobi on the lookout and kind, helpful neighbourly folk. She shook her head, reminding herself once more that she was trying to focus on the present, rather than her past. _Her death._ Sakura blinked, staring at the door which Lithuidor had led her to, silently grateful her dark mood had gone unnoticed. Her body felt overly warm, something which Sakura attributed to nervousness and perhaps because she was still feeling a bit tired, and her stomach twisted, even as Lithuidor knocked sharply on the door twice before entering in.

The adults in the room turned to her then, Caleniel giving her a bright smile, even as she waved her over from where she sat beside Reniedir, close to the bed where Dagnis lay, propped up by pillows with a tiny little body snuggled into her chest. “Berenloth!” Caleniel greeted. “Won’t you come here? There is someone we would like for you to meet…”

Sakura ran forwards, anticipation curling within her as she approached the bed then, heaving herself up onto it, sending a sharp glare Reniedir’s way when he reached out as if to help her. _She could climb onto a bed just fine._ Sakura took joy in the few liberties and acts of independence she managed to find in her daily life there. “Berenloth, this is Laerdil,” Dagnis said, nodding to the swaddled bundle in her arms, and Sakura crawled forwards then, eager to see the latest addition to their family.

The baby was a tiny, yet oddly cute thing, with a crown of blood red locks so similar to Dagnis’ own, face red and slightly wrinkled. His eyes were closed, evidently exhausted, but Sakura could tell they were tiny little things. “He is… small,” Sakura said, immediately feeling like a moron the minute those words had left her lips.

“You were once that small,” Reniedir remarked, ruffling her pink locks then, and Sakura scowled. His hands paused in mussing up her hair, an expression of alarm overtaking his face then as he reached for her forehead then, and Sakura blinked as she vaguely noticed the temperature difference. _Oh._ Sakura blinked, even as she was snatched from the bed. “You are burning up!” her brother declared, and then the world around her was ablaze with movement. _Part of her felt bad for interrupting what had to be a happy, joyous evening or night where the focus was undoubtedly meant to be on the new mother and father and their son._ Blearily, she opened her eyes as best she could as she was jostled about, confirming that she had been foisted off to her eldest brother who soon sought Duinenor out.

She was all fine to go back home, it was discovered, but if she developed certain symptoms then she was to be sent straight back to the Halls of Healing, or so the stern healer informed her brothers. _Brothers, because Leithedir had tagged along to bother Duinenor for one reason or another._ Sakura didn’t quite pay much attention to either of them though, what with her feeling tired and ill. She wanted her bed – or _a_ bed – to lie down on and fall asleep upon.

Lithuidor sighed, wrapping her up in a familiar blanket before he joined the others who were making their way back to their respective residences. It was a deep blue – one of the colours she had begun to favour over the years, what with her love of the sea – and one of the gifts she had received for her most recent begetting day. “Sleep, Berenloth,” Lithuidor murmured, and Sakura just about managed to extract a hand from the blanket she had been swaddled in, fingers curling in the front of Lithuidor’s shirt. She buried her head in the crook of his neck then, sleepily watching as she was carried back through the streets of Forlond, her eyes falling shut before they even reached the beginning of the trail which led them to their own home.

When she opened her eyes again, it felt as though she had been smacked over the head with something heavy and hard repetitively, and Sakura could only groan. She supposed she had her tiny body to thank for having such a bad reaction to being dragged into the waters. Her side twinged, and Sakura winced, remembering those claws which had dug into her skin.

“Berenloth,” Nardhion said, her shortest, silvery-haired brother stared down at her in concern, cool fingertips brushing against her forehead, even as she found a quilt being pulled up under her chin. “You are awake… tell me, are you hungry yet? It is almost noon…”

Sakura grunted at that.

“I will have Lastriel bring you something up…” he continued, smoothing down her hair then. “It will do you no good to go without food, and we all wish for your recovery,” he murmured, fingers running over her forehead once more, and Sakura shut her eyes once more, sinking into the blissful oblivion which was sleep again.

A small finger prodded at her cheek, and Sakura barely managed to groan at the unwelcome interruption to her rest, her eyes cracking open to find her twin standing beside her bedside, poking her cheek repeatedly, seemingly uncaring as to the fact she was awake by that point. She couldn’t find the strength or the energy to tell him to stop – and so was incredibly grateful when Reniedir appeared then.

“Maethon, your sister is ill,” her second tallest brother said, voice stern and unyielding, lifting her twin off his feet then and pulling him away from her then. “You must let her rest if you wish for her to get better sooner…”

Sleep beckoned to her once more.

Sakura wasn’t entirely certain of the time nor the date when she woke up feeling fully rested and slightly less groggy and terrible, but there was a rumble in her stomach which demanded to be sated. She climbed out of bed, feeling creaky and stiff as her feet padded against the wooden flooring, yawning as she stumbled out of her bedroom and into someone’s legs. “Dear sister, are you sure you should be out of bed?” Leithedir asked, peering down at her then.

“Food,” she demanded, holding up her hands in the universal _carry me_ pose. _She was ill, she deserved to be carried around, and her movements felt stiff and clunky and terribly slow and she didn’t like that feeling_. “Give me food.”

Leithedir barked out a laugh, sweeping her off her feet then, carrying her downstairs and to the table where Reniedir sat, looking through a book, a small pile of stacked scrolls beside him. He glanced up, frowning ever so slightly as he spotted her there.

“She is hungry,” Leithedir explained succinctly, before their brother could even get another question out.

“Are you certain you are well enough to be out of bed?” Reniedir asked, tilting his head, giving her a measured look. “Certainly, you look somewhat better than a couple of days ago, but we hardly want you to catch anything else before you are fully recovered…”

Sakura hummed, nodding her head slowly, stomach growling as she waited for Leithedir to provide her with sustenance. _She had evidently been out for at least two days…_ or so she mused as she swung her legs back and forth and waited. “’m fine,” she grumbled, perking up as her brother reappeared from the kitchen then with some pastries. She made short work of them, scowling when her brother wiped at her face with a damp cloth to get rid of the flakes and sugar which dusted her lips and the skin around them.

“Do you wish to go back to bed?” Leithedir asked, even as Reniedir busied himself in his reading. “Or would you rather do something else?”

Sakura tilted her head, mulling over what she wanted to do – _visit the sea for one, but she had a feeling the answer to that would be a big, fat no._ She looked up then, blinking as she spotted Reniedir and his reading. “Oh,” she murmured. “Can you help me with my reading?” She pushed her fingers together then. “There was a nice girl named Faechith who helped me before in the Halls of Healing… do you think I could see her again? Maybe after I feel better?”

“I will speak with Lithuidor, but I do not see how that could be a problem,” her brother said, taking her hand then, guiding her over to the sofa then, settling her down there before he went to the bookshelf in the middle of the wall, a window on either side letting the sun’s light through to illuminate the room in its glow. “For now though, let us read… at least until Lithuidor returns from patrol… and then I believe we ought to be set to have that family conversation…” he trailed off, seating himself down on their greenish-blue sofa which never ceased to calm her mind somewhat thanks to its delightful colouring which reminded her of the ocean she so loved.

Sakura stiffened, even as she was settled onto his lap, a blanket snuggled around her courtesy of her brother and his fretting over her health, a children’s book opened in front of them. _Nothing to do with the Fall of Gondolin as she had attempted to read about before._ “Family conversation?” she echoed, nervousness swelling in her gut at the sound of that, even as Leithedir ruffled her hair.

“Nothing you should worry yourself over.”

Needless to say that didn’t alleviate her worries in the slightest.

**Author's Note:**

> SPORADIC UPDATES T_T


End file.
